The Goodbye Room
by TheLittle MissVixen
Summary: She was a good girl, raised for a quiet conventional life. He came from a different world, he was a tough guy with a big heart. The only thing they did wrong was to fall in love.
1. Somebody's baby

Hello there

So, this is the new project I've told you about.

Have you ever read a book that you find in the most unlikely of ways and ends up staying with you? That happened to me with Somebody's baby by Elaine Keagan, I read the condensed version of Reader's Digest many years ago when I found it by accident on my parent's bookshelf and I must say it was the first book that broke my heart. I thought about it for weeks and even months afterwards and it always made me sad to think about it because I think it's a beautiful but cruel story. A couple of weeks ago I was re arranging things and I found it hidden under my things, I opened and skimmed thought some parts and remembered how heart breaking it was and how much I longed for a happier outcome. Then I decided that I could have a brighter ending if I wanted so it was that I decided to start this story, what better way to give the story a much more satisfying ending (to me) than using the fictional characters I love the most in the world.

This is what brings me here right now, a retelling of Somebody's baby by Elaine Keagan. I took the title for the story from one of my favorite episodes of Cold case, an episode that marked me as well.

The chapter is a bit short but it's more like an introduction, I really hope this story interest you and decide to give it a shot.

As always, thanks to Lorena for always supporting me and being an awesome beta.

Here we go,

.

.

"It was an eternal love. They didn't share a life together, but when they closed their eyes they were always in each other memories"

 **Ulises Sanchez**

 **.**

He had a tattoo. Maybe this isn't the best way to start the story but what really is the best way to start a story? It was the first tattoo I had ever seen, it was the profile of a wolf and it covered his entire right shoulder blade. It was many days afterwards that I found out he had gotten the tattoo in prison.

Prison.

That was not a common word in my vocabulary. It was the year of 1959 in Mystic Falls, Virginia and here nobody knew about prison. People didn't talk about tattoos, and much less about prisons.

I had never met a guy like him; I had never talked with that sort of _person_ as my mother would say while twisting her lips in a scowl. I came from a wealthy and respected family, a founding family. I was the only child of Isobel and John Gilbert, and certain things were expected of me. Getting involved with a guy like him certainly wasn't one of them nor was trying to achieve the one thing that I wanted in life for that matter.

I was seventeen years old and knew without a doubt what would make me happy for the rest of my life, I had known it since I was ten. I wanted to be a dancer, ballet was everything to me but my parents had always thought that that dream was nothing more than a phase.

"Oh Elena, I know you think you're good sweetheart but how many girls have been just as good before you? New York is a big place, you wouldn't even know what to do there" A statement like that one often left my mother's lips when I mentioned my dream of finishing high school and flying to New York to attend a dance school.

I always hid away from them to dance; I never let them see me anymore because I felt it was something deeply personal, I didn't want it to be tainted by their words and criticism. I learned to hide that dream away and maybe if things hadn't turned out like they did I would have abandoned it all together. I would have run away with him in 1950, we would have left that little town in his blue Camaro and never looked back. But I could also spend the rest of my life arguing about what is fate and what you can and can't change in life, but I already knew the answer. Nothing.

He worked in a diner that was famous for its strawberry milkshakes and greasy fries. Everyone in my grade loved to spend their afternoons there and listen to the songs coming from the jukebox in the back of the restaurant.

I was sitting with my friend Bonnie the first time he smiled at me, we were talking about a guy named Jamie who had been chasing her around for days when he came to retrieve the plates from the table, his lips turned up in a small smile and his eyes turned bluer, if that was even possible. It was then that I realized that he had a limp in his right leg, and a burning need to find out why invaded me.

I was a good girl going to a local high school, perfect grades, participating in as many clubs as was possible and with a bright future ahead of me. Him? He was no one. I didn't even know if he was going to college or if he had even gone to high school. He was older than me, I had no idea exactly how much older but I knew that in experience he had many years ahead of me. Damon Gabriel Salvatore, it was later that I found out his full name. At the moment he was only Damon because that was what his uniform's tag said.

It was a Thursday afternoon the first time he spoke to me; I was in the drugstore a few blocks from home. He was near the cashier with his nose buried in a magazine; a part of his hair was falling over his eyes.

"Hi" He said and my eyes almost popped out of my sockets when I realized he was talking to me.

"Hi" I answered back, feeling color rise to my cheeks. I gripped the bag with my belongings next to my chest as a defense not truly knowing why.

"What do you have there?" He asked, motioning to the bag.

I shrugged "Oh, just a lipstick"

"Yeah? Let's see it" He extended his hand and not knowing exactly why, I actually listened and handed it to him. "Pixie Pink" He said once he took the tube out of the bag "Come on, let's see how it looks"

"Now?" I asked

"Of course"

The cashier was looking at us and I blushed under his stare "I don't have a mirror" I told him

"I will be your mirror"

I laughed, I laughed because I didn't know how else to react. Damon was staring at me like I was a movie star and I was five seconds away from turning into goo right there on the floor. He was looking at me as if there were no one else in the store but the two of us.

"Go ahead"

I painted my lips while trying to watch myself in the reflection of his eyes "A little more to the right…" He murmured "Damn Elena, you do have a sweet mouth"

"Eh…" I flushed even more if that was possible, I felt my ears turning hot and knew if I didn't walk out of here soon I would probably start rambling nonsenses because that's what I did when I was nervous but once I was over with the lipstick, he stood up and gestured towards the front door.

"Do you want a soda or something else?" I knew I was supposed to be heading home already but a hopeful look appeared on his face and I wasn't able to say no that.

"Sure"

We walked out of the drugstore and a few minutes afterwards I found myself sitting across from him sipping on a cherry soda while he had a vanilla milkshake, when I woke up that morning I didn't expect to end the day sitting with a milkshake with a boy.

"How did you know my name?" I asked with genuine curiosity

"I heard your friend call you by it the other day" He answered and for a minute he looked embarrassed.

"Oh"

"That lipstick looks really good on you" He said

"You think?" I asked, I was in a situation way out of my league. Damon was nothing like the boys I went to school with and I had no idea how to act around him.

"I mean, you are beautiful already but I think that color brings out the best in you" He smirked as his eyes danced over me.

I almost choked on my soda right there. I had been called beautiful many times before but it had never felt like this, I didn't even know how to answer to something like that. Truth was I had never felt attracted to a boy the way I did to Damon and being close to him was making me feel things I wasn't familiar with.

His eyes looked down to the table briefly and a rosy tint appeared on his cheeks "I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime"

"Sure" I didn't even think about it, I just agreed immediately. I was not being myself and I liked that. "What's your full name?" I asked. I had agreed to go out with him; the least I could know was his full name

"Damon Gabriel Salvatore, mam" He said with the biggest of smiles.

"Salvatore as in Stefan Salvatore?"

"My little brother" He said with a warm smile.

Stefan Salvatore was my age and went to my school but we definitely didn't move in the same circles. He was an outcast in school, mainly because he didn't come from a wealthy family and had a tendency to be a loner, now I felt kind of bad for not trying to talk with him on the many times I saw him being miserable in school.

"He goes to the same school as me" I told him

"Yeah I know" He said with a smile that hid something but I didn't dare to ask what.

I spent that entire afternoon with him. I told him things I had never told anyone before. I didn't know why but there was something about him that made me want to be open, somehow he made me feel free. His eyes were fixated on me as we spoke, like I was the most precious thing he had ever seen and I relished in his attention, I wanted his eyes on me all the time. I told him about my dream of being a ballerina and how my parents thought it was stupid, I told him I adored my cousin Jeremy as if he was my own brother, and that Bonnie and I had been tight as sisters since we were in kindergarten.

I told him everything and he listened, he listened like no one ever had before.

I told him I had always been a good girl and he told me he had always been a bad boy.

I spent the best afternoon of my life next to that boy with blue eyes and dark hair that fell over them and for the first time in my life I felt truly happy.

If only I had known how easily life can change, how unfair the world can be and how easy it is for a heart to break.

If only I had known he was going to break mine.


	2. She was the sun

_Hey there!_

 _I'm really glad that you're giving this story a chance, I might take a while with my updates because life has been a bit busy lately so please just bear with me. The chapters are a bit short but that's just the way the story is developing, I really hope you're liking it._

 _Thanks so much to Lorena because she's been awsome at being my beta and of course to all of you reading this._

 _Love you!_

* * *

" **He stepped down, trying not to look too long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking"**

 **-Leo Tolstoy-**

 **.**

After the first day when he made me put on my lipstick for him Damon and I saw each other every day. He would pick me up from school in his blue Camaro and drive me to the dance academy, he would wait for me outside and we would drive to the falls and talk in his car until it was time to go home.

My parents didn't suspect a thing; I had been such a good girl all my life that they didn't even think that there was something different about me.

Damon was so unlike me in many ways. He told me that he used to move around a lot when he was a little kid; that they usually lived in trailer parks and motels because his father was always changing jobs. And then when he was ten years old his father had abandoned them, it had been hard but they still had their mother to keep them afloat but all that changed when he turned fifteen and she died from a tumor. Since that moment it had been him and Stefan against the world, I felt so bad every time that I thought about it.

The people I hanged out with used to make fun of Stefan every day because of the holes in his clothes and the hand me downs school supplies he took to school every day, if only they knew all the hardships the Salvatore brothers had faced their entire lives. I started to see the world in a new light, I realized I had been sheltered my entire life, leading a privileged life while there were millions of people out there who weren't as lucky as me.

"What's worrying you?" He asked softly one Friday afternoon while we were sitting inside a diner in the outskirts of town.

"I got into a fight with my mother" I answered and he put his hand on top of mine. It was the first time he touched me "I just… we don't really get along"

"What do you mean? All parents fight with their kids"

"It's different" I shook my head slowly and fixated my eyes on the coconut pie in front of me. Damon was having apple pie, he loved apple pie.

"Explain it to me" He placed his hand underneath my chin and forced my face up, his eyes were so tender and soft that I couldn't help but break down under his stare.

"I guess…I don't know. I've never been good in her eyes, I don't want the same things she wants and that upsets her… she wants me to be like her." The gentleness in his blue eyes warmed my heart "She doesn't want to do anything, she never has. And she wants me to be like her, to stay in this town and do nothing but trivial things all my life"

"Then I guess that is indeed a problem, because you are the most unordinary girl I've ever known" He said with a small smile.

"You think?"

"I think there's a fire inside you, Elena, you're going to do great things in life. You'll see"

I laughed softly while staring at him "You're insane, Damon, everyone knows I won't do anything out of the norm. I won't be a great star or something like that"

"Well then, everybody is wrong and they will be surprised when the time comes. Everyone but me." He winked at me before cutting a piece of his pie and taking it to his mouth.

The only person who knew about Damon and me was my friend Bonnie because there was nothing I could ever hide from that girl, first because she was my best friend and secondly because she would find out anyway even if I didn't tell her.

She was shocked at the beginning, after all Damon Salvatore was not the kind of person we used to hang out with. But after a few days she didn't make much of it, mainly I think, it was because she realized how happy it made me to be around him and she had always wanted me to be happy.

"I think your friend doesn't hate me anymore" Damon said with a smile one Friday afternoon when he picked me up from school. We were heading downtown since Bonnie had agreed to cover for me, I had told mom we were having a slumber party and that I was heading towards Bonnie's house when we got out of school. Being the good girl I was she didn't even question the authenticity of my outing.

My hair was blowing in the wind as he drove us in his blue Camaro, the car was Damon's most beloved possession. It was an old model but Damon took care of it, and by the way he treated it you may think it was brand new. I had the radio on top of me since it was new and Damon had yet to install it, I was listening to music of people I never heard of before like Kitty Wells and Red Folley.

"Where are we going?" I asked Damon with a smile

He took my hand and took it to his lips "I'm taking you out to eat Mexican food" He placed a kiss on the back of my hand and I almost melted in my seat. We hadn't kissed yet, so simple things like him touching me or kissing my hand drove me crazy every time. "And afterwards I'll take you to play pool"

"What?" I asked with surprise

"Yeah, darling, with those legs… before you hit the ball you'll be half on top of the table" He laughed with his eyes still straight on the road, I blushed like crazy.

We found a place where they sold Mexican food, it was noisy and people drank beer and ate greasy food. The air stank of smoke and girls wore too much lipstick and eye shadow and not enough clothes. And there I was, a girl with pixie pink lipstick, a freshly washed face and a ponytail. A princess that had been stolen from her castle by the big bad wolf.

Damon taught me how to play pool that day, when he leaned down behind me and pressed our bodies together I felt things I had never before. I had turned seventeen a few weeks earlier and had absolutely no experience with boys, especially not boys like him, but I didn't feel scared with him.

"Told you those legs would help" He whispered in my ear before we hit the ball and managed to knock three out.

We walked out of the bar hand in hand and the sky was already dark and the stars were shinning in it. He was going to drive me back to Bonnie's house so I could spend the night there but a part of me knew that if he asked me to spend the night with him instead I would have agreed, in spite of my inexperience I already knew that I was never going to feel the same way about anyone ever again.

"Can I see you again tomorrow?" Damon whispered as we stood outside his car, the noise of the bar in the background and the dark night enveloping us.

"I don't think you can" I said sadly. Tomorrow was Saturday and my parents usually liked to spend them with my aunt and uncle, I loved them and I especially liked to spend time with my cousin, Jeremy, but it also meant that I wouldn't be left out of their sight and that seeing Damon was completely out of the picture.

He took a resigned breath and leaned his forehead into mine "I wish we could" I could feel his breath on my face and closed my eyes so I could experience it better. We hadn't even kissed yet, our touches had been growing with time but I had yet to experience the feel of his lips on mine and right at that moment there was nothing I wanted more. "I'll be thinking of you" He finally said with that crooked grin I loved so much and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I stood up on my toes and pressed our lips together for the very first time.

Fireworks exploded behind my closed eyes as he placed his hand on my waist and kissed me back with as much emotion as I was kissing him. When we broke apart he threw his head back and stared at me, I stood there under his stare completely breathless. The sky behind him was dark blue and his eyes were almost as blue as it, my heart was beating wildly in my chest and my hands were shaking as I placed them on his biceps, he drew me in once again and kissed me over and over, there in the parking lot as the night wind caressed our bodies.

The next Monday when he picked me up from school I told him not to take me to the dance school, instead we drove to the falls and kissed for hours in the backseat of his blue Camaro. I had found something new I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Kissing Damon felt like coming home and I had been longing for that place for a long long time.

Now as I look back and think of all the bad things loving Damon brought me I wonder if I would have done things differently knowing what I now know. Sometimes I like to think I would but the honest part of myself, the one I like to keep quiet most of the times, knows I would have done it the same way. Because even now, ten years after everything went downhill, I still can't find anything that I love more than those kisses I shared with him.


	3. She's holding on to me

**Yeah, I know. I'm a terrible person for taking so long, but life has been a bit hectic lately. Anyway, here I am with a new chapter I really hope you enjoy it and I know these chapters are way shorter than what am used to but I don't know, this is just the way the story is flowing for me and no matter how hard I try I can't write longer chapters.**

 **Huge thanks to all of you reading this and taking the time to review and as always thanks to my lovely beta because this wouldn't be possible without her.**

 **Here we go.**

* * *

When the rain came, it washed us out to sea

I'm holding what I love

And she's holding out to me

 **The Fray**

 **.**

I can still remember the first time I spoke with Stefan Salvatore. Damon wasn't going to pick me up since he had been held up at work so I was walking home alone when I saw him. He was sitting on a bench in front of the ice cream store with a book in his hands.

Behind him the ice cream store was filled with young people, a lot of them we actually went to school with, but Stefan was all by himself on that bench outside of the place, looking utterly and completely alone.

I walked towards him with tentative steps; I had been breaking out of my shell lately while hanging out with Damon and could now see how cruel and nasty the people I hanged out with really were, how they only cared about shallow things and didn't think twice about humiliating people like Stefan who didn't think the same way they did.

"Hi" I said softly and felt terrible when his eyes looked at me with shock, as if it was a complete miracle I was talking to him.

"Hi" He answered a bit insecurely. At that point I had no idea what Damon had told him or if he had even told him anything about us.

"What are you reading?" I asked and sat down next to him on the bench. He lifted the book a bit uncertainly and I smiled when I saw the cover "I like to read Dr. Seuss too" I said and his face broke into a huge grin

"Then I guess my brother was not wrong about you" He answered softly, still wearing a half-smile on his face.

"What?" I asked as I played with my ponytail, a nervous thing I used to do and that only Damon had caught on.

"I'm sorry, was I not supposed to know?" He asked with a bit of fear in his eyes and once again I felt terrible. How badly had this boy been treated that he was afraid of everyone's reaction around him?

"No, no it's okay. I just didn't know he had mentioned us to anyone"

"I was there the first time he saw you, I think it was about a year ago" Stefan said while shaking his head with a small, relaxing smile once again "He went to school to speak with the principal about me and you were there sitting on the grass with all of your friends"

I remember staring at him open mouthed as I tried to absorb the words he was saying. I hadn't met Damon until a few months ago when he started working in the diner, the knowledge that he knew about me even before that didn't scare me or make him look like a creep, it only spread a warm sensation throughout my body.

"I think he fell for you in that same moment" Stefan said with a grin while closing his book and placing it on his lap "Damon's a good guy, Elena" He said, the grin disappearing from his face and being replaced by an overprotective expression I hadn't seen before.

"I know that Stefan"

"Do you?" He asked in a somber tone "Because most people will try to tell you otherwise"

I stared at him in silence, and tried to open my mouth to say something but no words were coming out. I knew that he was being honest; it was why I still hadn't told anything to my parents. It wasn't just that people didn't like Damon, they were afraid of him.

"I know that, Stefan" I answered softly "But I'm not like most people"

He eyed me suspiciously before answering "You might be, but I'm still not so sure about that part" I stared at him dumbfounded, I knew that I should be offended because of his comment but a part of me was glad that he cared so much about his brother.

"I can assure you that I'm different" I said with a half-smile

"Just…" He looked at me and there was so much tenderness and love in his eyes that it made me feel like my heart had just been tightly squeezed in my chest "Just don't break his heart"

"I won't" I answered truthfully. In that moment I realized that breaking Damon's heart would mean breaking my own. I hadn't known him for that long but there was something in him that pulled me in, I knew that nothing was ever going to be the same after him.

After that day in front of the ice cream store, Stefan and I developed some sort of quiet friendship. I would sit with him at lunch after seeing him all by himself or we would study together at the library. While all of that happened my friends started to drift away, only Bonnie stuck by me, while the others just couldn't understand how I could be friends with someone like Stefan.

But I didn't care, if they drifted away so easily it was because they weren't truly my friends. Stefan was a nice guy and I liked spending time with him, and Damon was so happy that his brother finally had a friend that the grin he used to give me every time he thanked me for making school a little bit easier for his brother it was worth more than a thousand fake friends.

I had Damon, I didn't need anything else.

* * *

I remember resting on top of Damon's body and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. His car was parked at the falls and the moon was shining brightly in the sky.

The car smelled of leather and a faint trace of honey, which Damon always carried around because of his job at the cafe. His hands were tracing patterns on the skin of my arms and his breath was moving the hairs on the nape of my neck.

"Will you please come?" I asked once again. I had been trying all night to convince Damon to come to a party my parents were throwing on the weekend. They always did those sort of social gatherings and I always had to endure them all alone, but it had occurred to me that maybe this year I wouldn't have to do it all alone since I had Damon with me, but from the moment I had mentioned it he had refused.

"It's a bad idea, doll" He said and I could feel him shaking his head.

I huffed and moved my legs, the sound of the fabric of my skirt echoing in the silent car "Why not?"

"I already told you why" He pressed a kiss on my temple and rested his hands on top of my belly. "I don't belong there, Elena"

"You belong with me" I answered stubbornly. Looking back now I think I might have been a bit selfish with him, I only thought of my needs, of how much I wanted him there and not of how he would feel surrounded by people who always thought the worst of him.

"I don't even have any good clothes to wear" I turned around and saw the vulnerability in his eyes, my heart breaking at the sight of it. I was used to always seeing him so strong that to see weakness in him was completely startling to me "I can hardly show up at your house wearing this"

He motioned to his ripped jeans and simple white shirt.

"We'll work something out" I told him "Clothing is the last thing you have to worry about"

"But I have to Elena" He replied "Because I want to make an impression on your parents and your friends, you know they already think I'm not good enough for you"

On more than one occasion Damon and I had suffered from nasty looks from people at my school, it was a miracle that my parents didn't know about it yet, Jeremy did and he had been beyond supporting. Something that I always loved about my cousin was that he was different from everyone else; he didn't care about status or what society wanted.

"Please Damon" I whined once again and threw my head back so that I could stare into his blue eyes. I loved his blue eyes, I can still remember them so vividly, I had never seen a pair like that, so deep and crystalline, so full of power and emotion. Well that's a lie, I did see a pair just like those once but thinking about it breaks my heart every time.

"Fine" He muttered with what was supposed to be an annoyed tone but I could see the smile forming on his face.

"Really?" I squealed and sat down on the cramped back seat of his car, the fabric of my skirt wrinkling with the move "You'll come?"

"I'd do anything for you doll" He answered before I launched at him, filling him with kisses. His hands tangled in my ponytail and I moaned into his mouth as our kisses turned more daring.

Damon and I had been gradually making our touches bolder and bolder every time, but we still weren't even near close of going all the way so I was incredibly surprised when I felt the hunger in his touches and in his kisses.

It was as if he wanted to eat me whole. "I'm sorry" He panted next to my lips when we broke apart "I just got carried away"

"It's okay" I told him as I felt my face heating up "It's just that I don't know if I'm ready..."

"Hey, it's okay doll" He stroked my cheeks and placed a kiss on my forehead "We don't have to do anything"

I gave him a big smile and nestled into his arms once again, nuzzling into his neck "I love you Damon" It was the first time that I let those words slip out of my mouth but it felt wonderful.

"What?" He choked out, eyes wide as saucers.

"I love you" I told him once again, smiling against the skin of his neck.

He stayed silent for a few seconds as if trying to absorb the words; I could feel his heart beating wildly and his breathing growing unsteady. "You have no idea how much I have longed for those words"

His voice was charged with emotion and his hold tightened on me "I love you too Elena, like I've never loved anybody before"

I pressed myself even closer to him and gripped his biceps "I guess that's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah, a really good thing" He answered as he started stroking my arm once again. The moon kept shinning above us and the world kept spinning around us.

I felt invincible, like nothing could touch me. I was on top of the world. If only I had known how easy you could be knocked down to the ground.

* * *

 **Review?**


	4. Are you happy?

**_Hey there!_**

 ** _Hope you're all loving the story and that you like the new chapter, I want you to know that this story will be divided in two parts; the past which is where we are right now and the present which will come later._**

 ** _I want to thank you all for reading and taking the time to review and of course to Lorena for being the beta on this._**

 ** _Love,_**

 ** _Sam_**

* * *

 _"_ _Nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you."_

 **-Nicole Krauss-**

.

.

It was December, the air was cold and the snow was frosting the pavements. Bonnie and I had gotten together earlier in the evening to get ready. I was wearing a red dress with a thigh bodice and a flowy skirt, my grandmother's pearls graced my neck and I had decided to wear my hair down in soft waves.

Mother told me I looked perfect and somehow the word had made me feel dirty. I didn't want to be perfect. I just wanted to be me and I knew I was far away from being perfect.

The party my parents had spent months organizing and talking about was being held today. I had invited Damon and Stefan without telling anybody and still didn't know if they were going to show up, Damon had promised but I also knew how much he didn't like the idea and a part of me knew it was possible he wouldn't show up tonight.

We arrived at the country club and mom went to mingle immediately, Bonnie stayed at my side a little longer but when she spotted the guy she had been hanging out with she ditched me and I honestly couldn't blame her, I would have done the same thing.

I'm sure everything was beautiful, the decorations that my mom took so long supervising, the elegant food the servers kept prancing around, the dessert table my mother felt so proud of and the expensive dresses and tux people were wearing. The party smelled of money, only the best of Mystic Falls was here and I couldn't help but think how frivolous my life had been until this moment, how much I had let myself be blinded by all of this stuff and never payed attention to what truly mattered. Being with Damon had opened my eyes to another world and now it was incredibly hard for me to go back to how things used to be.

I had been at the party for nearly two hours when I lost all hope of Damon showing up, I was feeling miserable, I couldn't talk with anyone since I felt like an outcast. How had this happened? How had I turned into an outsider in my own world?

Then I saw him walking down the steps, he looked so poised and elegant. A dark tux with a pressed white shirt and gold cufflinks, his hair was styled elegantly and Stefan walked beside him with as much grace as him. Damon didn't look at all like the guy I met at the diner.

"How?" I asked almost breathlessly once he reached me

"Rented it" He answered with a half smirk before pressing a kiss to my cheeks. My heart ached painfully thinking about how much this should have cost him and how I had forced him to do it; suddenly I wasn't feeling happy about having him here, I felt terrible for making him so something he clearly didn't want to.

"Looking good, eh?" Stefan said with a smile as I turned to greet him.

"You do clean up real nicely" I joked and we fell into an easy conversation. It was strange how much being with the right person could change your state of mind. Just now standing with Damon and Stefan I suddenly felt like I belonged, I wondered briefly how everything had changed and I had started to consider Damon and Stefan as my people more than the people I grew up with.

As if somehow sensing I was actually having a good time my mother showed up next to me, her death glare was trained on Damon and I thought for a moment that she only needed the hat and the flying monkey to complete the look of the wicked witch.

"Aren't you going to introduce us Elena darling?" She asked in that pinched voice she loved to use.

"Mother, this is Stefan and Damon Salvatore" I introduced them and watched as the brothers extended their hands and smiled warmly at her. To any other person her greeting could have seemed honest but I had known the woman my whole life and could see the difference, she was faking it.

"I think I've seen you at the diner" She said with a cold smile on her face and I winced internally. First jab, I really couldn't expect any less from her. "I assume you don't go to school" She directed her gaze to Damon and I wondered if she knew me so well that the thought of my interest lying with Stefan instead of Damon was so unimaginable for her.

"No, mam. I already finished school" He answered and she smiled that cold smile again, making everything appear frosty around her.

After a few more jabs and questions she finally walked away and I could breathe easily once again. It wasn't as if I didn't expect for this to happen, I knew the woman and I knew she wasn't going to like Damon one bit.

The rest of the night seemed to go on swiftly. Damon and I danced and laughed, Stefan even found a girl to talk with, we ate and drank and everything seemed to be perfect in the world. Or that was until Mason Lockwood decided to make a nasty comment about my breasts when Damon was in the range of hearing.

He pummeled Mason to the ground; bruised his eyes, broke his nose, and left him bleeding on top of the dessert table my mother had spent so much time crafting.

Mother was enraged and kicked him out, then dragged me into the bathroom and shouted at me for daring to bring such a low class to the party, told me I was not to see Damon again and that she would make sure he would stay away from me.

I heard her, heard every word she was saying but couldn't care less. I loved Damon. He had become everything to me and nothing she'd do would keep me away from him, so I told her, I told her nothing she could ever do would keep me away from him and didn't even flinch when she slapped me hard across the face. I lifted my chin in her direction and then I walked out of the front door straight into my boyfriend's arms.

"Why did you do it?" I asked when we were driving back to his place

"I didn't like the way he was looking at you"

"Damon-"

"He made nasty comments about you and I'll be damn if I let anyone talk about my girl like that" He said with conviction and hard eyes before gripping my hand tightly.

I should have been scared of his attitude but I wasn't. I was high on love and nothing was going to bring me down. He loved me and protected me and it was all that mattered to me, no one had ever cared about me so much.

We made love for the first time that night.

I remember shaking when he started peeling the dress off of my body. His eyes were deep and warm while staring at me and he kept murmuring how we didn't need to do this, that he would be okay with just kissing me but I had made a decision and knew what I wanted.

I wanted to be one with him; I wanted to be as close as possible to him.

Even now, when I close my eyes I can still feel the ghost of his fingers on my skin, his warm lips kissing my neck and under my nose. I will never forget the way his body sliding inside me felt, nor the way his feverish skin against mine felt.

Afterwards when it was all finished, we lay together on his small bed, the covers twisted around us and nothing but the sound of our breathing surrounding us.

I knew my mom would yell at me for going with Damon, I knew she would call me all bad names for arriving home so late and for being involved with a man like him, she would even hit me I was sure of it but at the moment I couldn't care less. I was happy, for the first time in my life I knew what it was to be truly happy and the sensation was unbelievable.

I belonged to someone and that someone belonged to me.

* * *

"What are you thinking?" Damon asked as my head rested on his bare chest and his fingers twisted locks of my hair

"That I love you"

"Very much?" He asked with an edge of vulnerability.

"Very" I said before propping myself onto my elbow and staring at his handsome face. A lock of dark hair was falling over his eye and his cheeks had the most beautiful rose tint. "You are it for me Damon Salvatore" I moved the lock of hair out of his eye and he smiled sweetly at me.

"And you're my girl Elena Gilbert" My heart felt like it was about to burst with happiness in that moment. Damon and I had met only a few months ago but that was enough for me, I knew I was never going to feel the same way about anyone else. And even now I'm sure of it. Damon Salvatore disgraced me for other men, because no one was ever going to measure up to him.

"I know I'm not good enough for you" He said and my heart broke into a thousand little pieces "I saw it in your mother's eyes today and I don't need her to tell me to know it, you're too good for me"

"Damon that's not true"

"It is Elena and you and I both know it" A shadow fell upon his face and I wanted nothing more than to wipe it out, to bring that boyish charm back to his expression once again and make him forget about all the bad things in the world. "But I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to be better for you"

"Damon…"

"I'm going to build you the biggest house out there" He said with a voice filled with conviction. He had been getting involved in some construction jobs lately and had discovered it was something he really liked to do.

"You are?" I asked as I leaned on my hand and stared at him.

"It's going to be beautiful, Victorian style and white walls. It's going to have big windows with gauzy curtains blowing in the wind and the best part of it all will be the porch" His eyes lit up, lost in his imagination "It's going to be a wide porch and you're going to dance for me all the time there"

"Truly?" I asked, my mind already wandering to that beautiful fantasy he had created, eyes getting misty without truly knowing why.

"Truly" He stated "And on summer nights we'll make lemonade and sit there to watch the stars" I remember feeling a huge lump in my throat and an immense happiness while imagining everything he was saying. "We're going to have a wonderful life you and I Elena, I promise you" I rested my head on his chest once again and let him keep petting my hair as our legs got tangled under the sheets once again. "I will take you to New York and you'll become a star, everyone is going to love you. I'm going to give you everything you ever wanted"

I knew I should be going home soon or mother would freak out even more but I remember not wanting to move a muscle, I was safe in the cocoon of Damon's small bedroom, his arms around me and his scent filling my nostrils. There wasn't a safer place in the world for me.

Now, ten years later I found myself wanting to be back in that place, every once in a while I go to sleep wishing to wake up in his arms once again and realizing it was all a nightmare.

I wish for something to make me feel as safe as I did in those moments when it was only the two of us in his small bedroom.

How foolish it is for a grown woman to be fantasizing that way. My mother would surely let me know if only she knew I was still thinking about that boy I used to know but she doesn't understand; she never did. That's why I never spoke with her anymore, because whenever I saw her I only saw the bad decisions I made in life and how I let her destroy me just because she wasn't able to understand.

I often wonder if she was always like this or if her heart was stolen somewhere along the way, sometimes I fear I will end up just like her, bitter and angry because of all the things that happened.

Because if there's one thing I know it's that my mother doesn't have a heart, I figured that out when she took me to that place.

And I don't ever want to be like her.

* * *

 _ **Review?**_


	5. I'll cry over the love of you

**Hey there!**

 **Hope you're doing okay and that you're liking the story. I get so happy when I read your reviews, I know it seems like the story is a bit rushed but It's just the way is working for me. We're seeing little snippets of Delena's past story until we reach the present part of the story. Hope you like this chapter, thanks to all for still reading and thanks to Lorena for being awsome and being my beta :)**

 **Love,**

 **SaM**

* * *

"I wish I had done everything on earth with you"

 **The Great Gatsby**

 **.**

 **.**

It's easy to say now that I was just too young and inexperienced back then. What could I possibly know about life? It's simple to say that he was my first love and that first loves never last. That they crumble and extinguish, leaving us broken.

It's easy to say that we were never going to make it, that Damon was not the right person for me. That what we felt for each other would die in a matter of five years and I would stare at him and think of the huge mistake I made. It's easy to say all of that when I lay awake alone at night, it's easy trying to convince myself that what happened was for the best but deep down I know better because I am a twenty-eight-year-old woman that in her short life has reached everything she ever dreamed of but who still feels dead inside.

No one can predict the future, no one can guess whether a person is going to be good for us or not. How do you know if the person you give your heart to is going to cherish it or break it? You can't. And for me there was no one else like Damon Gabriel Salvatore, even after all the years that passed or the times I tried to find love somewhere else he was still the only man who had touched my heart because he took it with him when he left.

After that first night when we made love everything between us changed. I couldn't tell what it was that made Damon so special to me; the only thing I can say is that he was everything to me and that since that night until things fell apart we spent every waking minute together. He would pick me up from school and take me to dance classes or I would go and sit at the diner just to watch him flip pancakes in the air. He had continued with his construction job and when he came to school he was in ripped jeans and with stained white shirt, my classmates would turn their heads and stick up their noses but I didn't care, I felt so proud to be in his arms.

We would lock ourselves in his room and I would dance for him for hours, he was the only person I allowed to see me dance, he always told me how great I was and how good I was going to be one day. Damon was the only person who truly believed in me and I will forever be eternally grateful to him for it.

Everything I had to do and say to be with him I did it, Jeremy covered for me, Bonnie covered for me, they didn't like it but they did it because they knew how much I loved Damon. My mother discovered me in several occasions, she shouted at me, slapped me, forbade him from me but I didn't care, at that point there just wasn't a way for me to leave him.

But who can predict the future? Who can guess how things are going to end up? Could it be that Damon and I started our love story too soon? Could it be that our love burned too bright too quickly that It was impossible to keep it afloat?

"I love you Elena, I will always love you" He used to say those words to me all the time and every time they sounded like music to my ears. What would I not give to hear them once again?

.

 ** _JANUARY_**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

"But why would you want to steal from someone?" We were lying on his small bed, the room was cold and we had all the blankets around us. My head was resting on his chest and he was tracing patterns on the skin of my arm.

"Because I was an idiot, I was hanging around bad people and I was trying to be a bad guy" He laughed but there was no humor in it just pure sadness "But we weren't smart enough to not get caught"

"And what happened?" I asked with my eyes wide open, I propped myself on one arm and stared at his face while he spoke.

"They put me in prison doll"

"What?"

"I was seventeen back then"

He told me all about it, he and his friends went into a liquor store and tried to steal, they had guns so when the police caught them they sent them to the correctional for an entire year. He told me about the tattoo he got in there and about a really awful fight he got himself into.

"The guy was a bully, always trying to mess around with the younger ones. I've never been one to keep quiet" He said and I couldn't help but think back to the incident with Mason, Damon was an action man and that was something I loved about him. "It got so bad that he ended up throwing me from the second floor"

"Damon-"I gasped, taking a hand to my mouth. He looked at me with tenderness and stroked my cheek softly.

"I got lucky and fell into a pile of wood but broke my leg. I was in the hospital for three weeks with the leg hanging in the air. They put some nails in me and said that was it, I was going to have a limp for the rest of my life and that was all they could do"

I took a deep breath and rested against his chest once again, I threw my arm across his middle and squeezed him to me, I wanted to keep him there and never let go, to protect him from everything wrong in the world and to make him forgetting every awful thing that had happened to him in the past.

"I will never do anything like that again" He told me "That year I was there… what it did to Stefan. I never want to do something like that to him"

"I know you won't" I answered honestly and kissed him.

Damon often told me how I was the only person besides Stefan who thought he could do something more with his life, that he could be better than what he was already. He told me I was the only one who believed in him and I did.

I do. I like to believe he got everything he wanted in life. Even if I'm not by his side to see it. My mother would think I'm stupid for that statement, she would tell me it's foolish to wish him well after what he did to me but she never understood. Not even when everything went to hell did I manage to hate him, my love for him was too strong, there wasn't any space for other emotions.

Up to this day I still love him and sometimes when I close my eyes at night I like to picture the kind of life he's leading, I like to believe he made something out of himself and reached everything he ever dreamed.

.

.

 **February**

 **.**

"What are you doing with him?" Bonnie asked. We were sitting in the Mystic Grill, a new place that had opened in town and served some amazing burgers

"Excuse me?" I asked dumbstruck once the words left her mouth.

"Elena, we have to be honest. You're not going to marry him. He's not the kind of man you want to marry" Bonnie looked at me with hard eyes, her gaze turning deeper with each passing second, I had known Bonnie for my entire life and knew that the realization was hitting her "Oh my God, you went all the way with him, is that it?! You're not a virgin anymore!"

"Bonnie!" I reprimanded her and looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"Is it true then?" She asked

"Yes" I answered while looking down and focusing on the french fries on my plate.

"Dear lord" She whispered "What were you thinking, Elena? Do you want to actually marry him? He's a guy with no future. You want to raise your children in the floor of that diner?"

My blood turned to ice in my veins and I lifted my head to stare hardly at her. I can still remember how much I hated her in that moment, Bonnie Bennett, my best friend since childhood; I hated her so much in that instant for saying those awful things about the man I loved.

"Then why have you been helping me?" I looked at her hardly "If you do not think I should be with him why you have been covering for me?"

"Because I thought… God I thought this was a phase, but I don't know anymore"

"I love him, Bonnie; I want to be with him. Marry him"

"I can't believe what I'm hearing" She muttered "Darling, this can't end well, Damon is… well he does not fit in"

"Fit in?"

"With us, in our lives"

I laughed sardonically while rolling my eyes "And who does fit in? Someone like Mason? God, Bonnie, I thought you knew better than that"

"I'm telling you this because I love you, Elena"

"How can you even say that? How can you be just like them and think you're superior? Stefan and Damon don't fit, you're right. Because they are so much better" I threw my napkin on the table and gripped the counter with strength.

"Yeah right" Bonnie laughed "I just want what's best for you Elena" Her eyes grew softer and I could see something resembling my best friend in there "You really think you can be happy with him? Does he even love you?"

"Of course he loves me Bonnie" I said

"Maybe he just wanted to get lucky with you" She said and I could see that she actually believed what she was saying.

"No Bonnie, trust me. Damon is not like that" I muttered icily

"All the guys are like that Elena…" She said rolling her eyes "I still think you're making a mistake, Elena, Damon and Stefan are below us. They're white trash darling. Are you going to spend the rest of your life living in a trailer park?"

I stared at her dumbfounded, not being able to believe what I was hearing. It was the first time I left a place without eating my plate completely. No matter how much Bonnie begged I refused to climb into her car and I walked home instead, not caring that the air was chilly and my body shook from the force.

My heart was breaking inside and not because I thought that Bonnie was right, but because I realized that after fifteen years being friends with her I didn't know my best friend at all. Or maybe Bonnie had changed or I had changed and we just didn't know how to be friends anymore. That was the last time I spoke with her, sometimes I think of what she came to be and if she would have laughed and said "I told you so" after knowing what Damon did to me or if she would have held me and let me cry in her arms.

In time I learned to forgive her but in that moment I hated her, how could she say those things about Damon? White trash! The guy who used to tell me we would never be apart, that if I looked at the moon from my window at the same time as him we would never be apart. The guy who kissed my eye lids and smiled when he saw me, who would worry when I went somewhere without him and forced me to let him know if I had arrived safe. The guy who got mad when I took the bus instead of calling him one day when it was pouring outside.

"Elena, I don't want you to have an accident. Just call me, I'll go pick you up wherever you are" He had said

White trash. The guy who used to say he loved me so much that just seeing me made him happy.

How wrong they all were.

And how wrong was I thinking that our love was going to overcome all the obstacles. If only I had known.

* * *

 **Review?**


	6. It never stops

**Well this was fast right?**

 **Thank you so much for all your kind words and for sticking up with me on this journey. And thanks to Lorena for being the beta on this and working so damn hard!**

 **Love you all!**

 **Sam**

* * *

"Each time you happen to me all over again"

 **Edith Warton**

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 ** _March_**

.

"I never thought I could be this happy" Damon murmured absently while stroking my hair. We were lying on the grass under the shadow of a tree while Stefan and Valerie, a sweet new girl who arrived to town, splashed around in the lake. "Never thought I deserved it"

"I know what you mean" I answered even though I know I hadn't lived half the things Damon did. When I thought about his time in prison I couldn't help but shiver and feel sorry for him, for all those nights he had to spend alone and scared in that place "I never want us to be apart, Damon"

"We never will be" I felt the rise and fall of his chest as he took a deep breath, then he leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead "Why would we ever be apart?"

"I don't know; things happen…people can try to keep us apart" I answered thinking about my parent's and all of the things Bonnie had said to me the last time I saw her last month

"No, no one can tear us apart. I could never let you go, Elena; they would have to kill me to keep me away from you"

"Don't say things like that" I whispered and lifted myself so I could stare into his eyes. With the light of the morning they looked so crystalline, like two pools of water that shone only for me "I don't like it when you talk like that" From time to time Damon used to get this dark gloom over him, a darkness that let me know of all the things he had lived and had to endure, he had been forced to grow up after all, to keep his brother safe.

"Don't be upset" He cupped my chin and lifted his head slightly to kiss my lips "I don't ever want to make you upset" I smiled sweetly at him and nuzzled my nose with his, the darkness vanishing from his features as my heart eased inside my chest.

I lay on top of his chest once again as his arms circled me and we lay there in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying being together. The air was still slightly chilly around us and the birds were singing in the sky, I was as happy as anyone could be and I wanted the moment to last forever.

"Hey! You coming or what?!" Stefan's shout brought us back to the present and we laughed as we got up and ran towards the lake.

I wish I could still go back to that childish ignorance I used to live in back then. I wish I could go back to sunny days in the lake and kisses under the shadows of the trees.

I wish I could see that old Elena again, happy and ignorant of all things that are bad in the world.

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _APRIL_**

.

"Was there snow in all of the places you lived in?" I asked into his neck, we were curled together on his bed with nothing but silence surrounding us.

It was too late for it to still be snowing but against all meteorological reasons last night it had snowed and now the world seemed to be as still as ever with a large cape of snow covering the ground. It was around six a.m. and the sun was already peeking through the blinds. I had stayed with Damon all night, my mother thought I was at a sleepover, Jeremy had convinced one of his friends to lie for us so I could spend the night with Damon.

We didn't sleep for even a second, it was the first night that I got to spend the entire night with him and there was nothing more beautiful than waking up with him beside me, seeing his face first thing in the morning… it was in that moment that I knew this was the way I wanted to wake up every single day of my life.

"Come on" He said while standing up and offering me his hand so I could do the same. He was in nothing but his underwear and I had his shirt on, his smell surrounding me everywhere, I had never felt safer "Do you like the snow?" He asked as we stood in front of his window. His arms were surrounding me from behind and I was leaning against his chest, my head slightly tipped back.

"I love it; I think there's nothing more beautiful"

"Then we'll have to go live somewhere where it snows all the time" He said firmly and I couldn't help but laugh in delight.

"Perhaps only in the winter" I said as I stroked the arms that were encircling me "I also enjoy of the sun in the summer"

He kissed the skin underneath my ear softly "Only in the winter then"

"So our children can build snowmen every Christmas" I told him

"And we'll have a fireplace to keep us warm during that time, we'll cuddle up next to it while the children open their presents" He rested his head on my neck and I could feel his smile forming "It'll be perfect"

"Yes, it's going to be"

"We'll buy our girl beautiful tutus so you can dance with her all around the house" His arms gripped me more tightly and I felt almost breathless with delight

"She'll be a dancer?" I asked

"Of course, just like her mother"

He kissed my neck and I closed my eyes in complete and utter bliss. "And what about our boy? Will he be just like you?"

"Nah, he'll be smart like his uncle Stefan" He said nonchalantly but I didn't like his comment at all, I didn't like when he diminished himself so I turned around in his arms and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"No, I want him to be just like you" I told him "Smart, independent, and loving"

He smiled and rested his forehead against mine. "When did you decide that I was worth saving?"

"The first time you smiled at me"

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _Then May arrived…_**

.

"Elena, your mother worries about you" My father told me one night while mom was at reading club with her friends. We were sitting in the couch in front of the TV when he suddenly took the remote and muted the thing. He turned around and looked at me straight in the eye and whispered those words.

"What do you mean? I don't think she worries, I think she's angry" I told him honestly. Dad was a sweet man and he had never truly paid attention to the kind of person my mom was.

"Fine, she's angry" He said half laughing "I'm the one who's worried"

"You? About what?"

"About that boy you're seeing. I don't think he's right for you"

I stayed silent. Throughout all of my life it had been my dad who had supported me when mom didn't, the only time I remember him turning his back on me was when I told him I wanted to be a dancer and that was only after mom had a very long chat convincing him it was the wrong choice.

"I've been telling her it's only a passing thing, it is right?" He looked at me as if expecting for me to confirm or deny but I remained silent "Of courses it is, a passing whim. What harm could it do? June is coming and you'll graduate and head on to a university for women"

"Dad, I'm not going there" I said softly "I want to go to New York, to dance school"

He laughed and looked at me tenderly "Dance school? That's just another whim like when you wanted to be a pilot and used to run around with your arms stretched out like a bird, but then it passed right?" He laughed softly and turned on the volume of the TV.

I loved my dad and I was sure he adored me but he didn't know me anymore, he couldn't see that I had changed and there was no turning back.

.

.

 ** _And then the old month of June came…_**

.

I suspect I was the only woman from Mystic Falls high school who was going to graduate wearing a cap and with a baby inside her underneath the gown. I was paralyzed with fear and I had been since the moment I found out. I never expected for this to happen, it was never in our plans…Damon and I had been so careful.

"What are we going to do Damon?" I said in a bare whisper, we were in his room and he was pacing back and forth in front of me. I could see fear and anxiety in his face but hidden underneath it all there was also joy, Damon wasn't angry about this new development and somehow that gave me comfort, it made me believe everything was going to be okay.

Because if he believed we could do this than it certainly meant we could.

"It'll be fine, Elena, don't worry; I'll make everything okay again. I'm going to take care of you and the baby. We'll go to California, I know some people there and we'll get married. I can get a job in construction and we'll find a nice house. It'll be just like we wanted. You, me and our baby."

"Damon-"

"It'll be fine, Elena, I'll take care of you" He kneeled down and placed a hand on my tummy "I'll take good care of both of you" His lips broke into a loving smile and I felt my chest expanding with happiness "It's happening a bit sooner than what we expected but we'll make it work"

I nodded and let him take me into his arms. Inside my mind a millions of things were swirling around, it couldn't be that easy, could it? How were we going to live? Could he truly get a job so soon? And most importantly, how were we going to tell my parents? I was a minor so I needed their permission to marry, I knew dad would support me but I had no idea what mother would do, I had disgraced her, she was never going to forgive me for it.

"I'm scared, Damon" I confessed and was ashamed of the tremble in my voice.

"I know you are doll, I get it but you don't have to worry" He took my face between his hands and stared deeply at me, his blue eyes growing bigger and shinning in the dim light of the room "Do you think I will fail you?"

"Of course not, Damon" I answered truthfully

"We'll go to your parents and we'll talk to them about our plans" He kissed my forehead and then nuzzled my nose "It's all going to be okay"

He pressed his lips against mine and we lay there on his bed for hours just kissing, our bodies tangled together as if nothing else in the world mattered but us, here I was safe and loved, here in his arms I didn't have to fear my parents or society, I could be happy.

As his hands caressed me and his lips fused with mine I convinced myself everything was going to be fine. Damon had promised, he was going to take care of us and knowing the kind of man he was I couldn't doubt him. We were going to be happy and have the best life, I had nothing to fear, I only wanted him and our baby, we were going to make it work.

You can say now that it was naïve of me to think that way; that I had no idea about the ways of the world or how cruel it can be to a pair of young lovers who want nothing but to be happy, and you probably would be right. Because in that moment I was truly happy, I thought I had my life worked out and that I was going to live happily ever after but I was so wrong because in only a matter of days the world around me crumbled.

And here I am ten years later still bleeding over the wounds that disastrous love left me.

* * *

 **So the shit is about to hit the fan, any reviews?**


	7. I hope she'll be a fool

**"Alright,' I said, 'I'm glad it's a girl. And I hope she'll be a fool – that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."**

 **F. Scott Fitzgerald**

.

.

A light trace of sweat was making the pale rose shirt I was wearing stick to my back. My hair was in a tall ponytail and I was twisting it in my hands because I had no idea of what else to do, my mom was sobbing hysterically while my father tried to comfort her.

I had caved. Damon and I agreed on telling them together but last night while I sat alone with my father at dinner while mom was in her weekly reading club I had blurted out the truth in hopes that he could help me. Of course I knew he was going to tell mother but a part of me hoped he would keep the secret a little longer.

"I knew this was going to happen" She said while looking at my father who could do nothing but look down, her eyes then moved to me "How could you do something like this to us Elena?!" She shouted between sobs.

"I didn't do anything to you mother" I whispered and she threw me a sharp glance

"Do not try to be funny right now young lady" She gripped her hair in despair "Do you have any idea of what you've done?"

I looked down unable to meet her stare one more minute; the truth was that a part of me was ashamed. I had felt completely happy when I was in Damon's arms and he talked about our future with the baby but now under the judging gaze of my parents I couldn't help but feel like we had done something wrong, like I was shaming this entire family because I was pregnant with Damon's child.

"Calm down Isobel" My father tried to reason with her but she was having none of it, she kept pacing around the living room in such a fast way that she was already making me feel dizzy.

"Do you know what this means? We'll have to find a doctor to fix this" She spat while I looked at her in confusion "Maybe Grayson will want to do it, we can convince him to keep it a secret"

"Mother, what are you talking about? What do you mean?" I asked with an edge of despair in my voice. Crippling fear started to reign over my body because I was starting to understand what she wanted to say.

"You know pretty well what I'm trying to say" She said in a cold dead tone

"Mother are you talking about an abortion?" I asked as I stood up "I'm not having an abortion" My heart was beating a mile a minute against my ribs, the fear was suffocating me "Dad, tell her" I pleaded while looking at him "Dad?"

My dad's face was ashen and he looked like he had aged ten years in the last few minutes, he looked down at his shoes instead of answering me "I'm marrying Damon, I'm gonna marry him and have this baby and everything is going to be okay" I told my mother

"Like hell you are!" She shouted, her eyes blazing with anger "Do you really think that I'm a fool that I would let you ruin your life like that"

"I'm not ruining my life! Dad, I'm going to get married" I said once again while looking at my father, tears were falling freely from my eyes and I was frankly just as hysteric as my mother

"You don't know what you're saying Elena"

"She's not having an abortion, that's not what I want" My father finally spoke and hope flared inside of me

"Oh great! That's not what you want! Then what is it that you want?"

"Not an abortion. Maybe…" He looked at me briefly "Maybe she could have the baby"

"Have you lost your mind?! What is she going to do with a baby? Take him to college or leave it here with me?" She shouted at him "What are we going to tell the neighbors, that he fell from a tree?"

"Dad please don't make me get an abortion" I was in panic, I felt like the world was closing in on me, I felt so impotent I wanted to start shouting and never stop "Dad I'm going to marry Damon and everything will be okay, he's going to take care of us"

"Take care of you? That man can barely take care of himself" She slumped on the couch and covered her face with her hands "Marry him? You've lost your mind, you would put us all to shame if you married that boy" She started sobbing uncontrollably now "Do you have any idea of what you've done Elena?"

My father stood up and walked towards the couch, his hand rising to touch my mother but he stopped midair, he knew it was futile. I wanted to run from the room but my mother stood up and in long strides stood in front of me. Her hands gripped me by the shoulders

"You will do as I say Elena, how can you know what you want? You're so young" Those were her final words before she stormed out of the living room and left me in tears with my father watching me silently.

Too young to know what I want but not too young to get pregnant. Not too young to fall in love just too young to know what I wanted.

I should have known in that moment that things were not going to turn out as we wanted, that's not the way life works. I should have known that dreams don't come true and that houses with big porches were nowhere near my future but I didn't see it, I clang to hope because Damon had promised.

And how could I not believe every word from his mouth?

* * *

I watched him walk back and forth in his small bedroom, just like he had been doing for days now. It was almost like déjà vu with the exception that this time I was paralyzed with fear. I couldn't shake the image of my mother's face out of my mind, of how determined she had looked. She wanted me to get rid of my baby and nothing scared me more. Instinctively my hands flew to my stomach; I couldn't let her harm our baby.

"They can't force you to get an abortion" Damon said as his gaze went to my hands where they were pressed to my tummy "They just can't" He said again but we all knew what he wasn't saying, I was a minor and my parents could do what they wanted with me, or at least that's what I thought then.

"What are we going to do?" I asked in a broken voice, I was losing the battle with my emotions and I was sure I would burst into tears in any minute. "What can we do?"

Damon looked at me and a shadow of pain crossed his face, he walked towards the bed and took me in his arms. I clung to him with so much force I thought I might break him; I wanted to feel his comfort, his strength. I wanted for him to tell me we were going to be okay, that he would take care of us and that my mother could never get in the way again.

"We're going to get married"

"But they said"

"We're not going to ask for their permission" He said while stroking my hair, every caress shooting the fear inside of me away.

"What do you mean?" I whispered against the fabric of his shirt, I wanted to breathe him in, to commit his smell to my memory so I could remember it when he wasn't next to me.

"You and I are leaving, I'm going to take you somewhere they'll never find us" He moved slightly so he could put his fingers underneath my chin and force my face up "I have a friend named Enzo. He will help us, just for a few months until you turn eighteen, then they can't do anything to keep us apart anymore"

"Damon… they're going to search for us. They could get you back in prison" I shuddered with the realization of what I had done. I didn't realize how risky this all was when it started but I could see it now, I had put Damon in danger and my parents could put him back in that awful place he hated. He had promised not to leave Stefan again and I was making him break that promise. "I can't let them to that"

"They won't Elena because they won't find us" He put both hands on my cheeks and forced my eyes to meet his "Trust me"

"But they could…"

"Elena, I said I was going to take care of you and I will" His forehead fell against mine "Nothing is keeping me apart from you, nothing" Our lips met and we kissed for a few minutes, I was back in my safe place, here the words of my mother and my fears didn't matter, here we were just Damon and me… and our baby.

It was going to be okay, we would take care of each other, at least that's what I told the nagging voice in my head that kept whispering things were going to fall apart.

"What about Stefan?" I asked a few minutes afterwards as we were curled up on his leather chair.

"What about him?" He asked as he placed a kiss on my nose

"Would he really do that?" I asked "Leave everything behind because of us?"

Damon nodded and held me tightly, his face finding a place in the crook of my neck "Before you came along Stefan was the only thing I had and I am the only thing he has, we made a pact, we will never be apart again. Wherever he goes I go and wherever I go he goes. And now you are also included in our little pact"

A smile formed on my lips "Am I?"

"We are a family now" He said simply "Nobody ever paid attention to him or to the way he was treated until you arrived. Stefan feels eternally grateful to you, he told me you're the sister he never had" I could feel him smiling against my skin

"Then we will go" I said "Our little family. You, me, Stefan and our baby. And we'll never be apart again"

We made love for hours that afternoon, maybe we subconsciously felt that something bad was about to happen so we gave ourselves to the passion and let it consume us. I remember every caress, every kiss, every sound he made that night; I've committed it to memory and go back to it from time to time. When I go to sleep at night I try to picture the life we should have led, I imagine everything went as we planned and we are blissfully happy. Then I remember it's all in my imagination and I weep for hours.

That night I barely ate at the table with my parents and didn't say a word as they looked at me disapprovingly. I knew that mom was trying to find a doctor and I knew I wouldn't let her because Damon and I were going to be far away the next day.

I was a fool, maybe I still am.

That night I went to bed with a smile on my face and a happy heart filled with hopes and dreams for a life that would never come to be. I pictured it all, the big house and the porch, summer nights filled with dancing and laughter, it was all I dreamed about that night as I slept, completely unaware of the storm that was lurking just around the corner.

I dreamed of a happy life.

Ten years later and I'm still nowhere near as happy as I was that night dreaming about the boy with the blue eyes and the blue car.

* * *

 **Review?**


	8. The girl that went away

"Once upon a time, an angel and a devil fell in love.

It did not end well. "

 **-Laini Taylor-**

.

.

We had it all planned out.

I had snuck out a bag filled with clothes and took it to Damon's house. I was going to go to ballet classes as usual and wait for Damon there. He was going to go to the construction site and the diner to collect his paycheck and then meet with Stefan at his house so they could load the car and pick me up. I was going to meet them at the parking lot at six p.m. sharp, he would appear in his blue Camaro and we would drive off to someplace where they couldn't catch or criticize us.

In the bag where I was supposed to carry my dance outfit I had my wedding dress, a simple white lacy gown my mom had gotten me a few months back without realizing what I would end up using it for. I also had a pair of cream colored heel shoes and a cute white garter belt I had gotten this morning, I charged it all to my mom's account, it seemed fair to me because without her paranoia I was sure I would have been able to convince my dad to celebrate a wedding bigger than Missouri.

I was so damn excited; I had woken up that morning with the biggest smile on my face because my dreams were finally coming true. I loved him, I loved Damon Gabriel Salvatore and there was no doubt about it. We were finally going to get married and lay low until I turned eighteen, just a few months more. I had no idea what we were going to do or who this Enzo guy was but I didn't care, I could wait tables or work as a clerk in a store, I honestly felt indifferent as to what I had to do, just as long as Damon was next to me and our child.

I pressed my hand onto my belly and smiled, this wasn't planned at all but I had faith that it was going to work out just fine, so I waited, I waited for him to show up and sweep me into his arms.

But things rarely turn out as you plan them and I've been proven that over and over again. And on that day as I waited to start my new life I was utterly and horribly shocked when Damon didn't show up. Yes, you read that correctly, he didn't show up.

Now just for a second picture this scene in your head: a young girl standing in front of a dance school on a hot summer afternoon, holding a simple bag that contains her wedding dress carefully folded. Full of hope, happiness and anxiously waiting for a blue Camaro to appear in the distance, pretending not to realize that the sun was no longer out. Trying not to panic and repeating to herself how much he loves her "He'll be here" she murmurs to herself as she tries to remain calm. Then succumbing to begging "Please God, make him show up, make him show up and I'll never ask anything of you ever again". And when the moon shows up with clarity in the dark sky, when the bells of the church toll telling her she's been waiting for six hours she collapses on the floor, her knees losing all their strength. And only then does she know that she would never see the blue Camaro again, or the wolf tattoo. She knows that those bright blue eyes will never look at her again and that soft voice won't say her name ever again. Only then does she know something inside her broke and that it would never be fixed.

"I'll pick you up in the front, right in the parking lot of the academy" He had said "Six O'clock sweetheart, all right? I'll be there"

Why would Damon leave? Why would he leave if it was his idea to run away? This was exactly what he wanted, I knew deep inside my heart that he loved me, then why had he disappeared?

I started walking in a state of numbness, I wasn't aware of anything around me. I'm sure I must have been quite a sight, a young girl clutching a bag in front of her for dear life while tears kept streaming down her face. My face hurt, my throat, my eyes, everything hurt from all the crying and I still couldn't stop. Everything was falling apart.

I went to their home, a part of me hoped to find the lights on and realize they were there. That something had happened and they hadn't been able to leave the house but when I got to the little place there was nothing, not even the bare hint of movement inside, all the lights were off and the blue Camaro was not at the door.

A new wave of sobs took hold of my body and I crumbled there, leaning on their door while I cried my heart out. I cried for us, our baby, our house with the big porch. I cried for all the things that had slipped through my fingers in a matter of seconds.

I started walking back home after that, my spirit broken, my hopes and dreams all shattered on the floor. What was I going to do now? How was I going to fight against them all without him by my side? Damon had been wrong, I wasn't meant to do great things, I was a coward and knew that I couldn't do this on my own.

When I arrived home all the lights were out and my parents were soundlessly sleeping, it seemed weird to me that they weren't in the living room ready to scream at me for showing up so late, but I didn't really dwell on it because I was just grateful, the last thing I needed at the moment was to hear my mother's screams. Instead I dragged myself to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed, I didn't even change my clothes, I just pulled the comforter over my head and cried all over again until there weren't more tears left and I finally fell asleep.

Up until this day I still can't figure out what truly happened that day. I know he loved me, I know it in my heart. But then what happened, why did he decide to take on her offer? Why didn't Damon and I disappear into the horizon as we were supposed to do that day?

For three days I stayed holed up in my room. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think, I couldn't stop crying. My father looked at me sadly and I could see guilt behind his eyes, that was my first clue that they had something to do with what had happened to Damon.

I called both of Damon's bosses and they both told me the same thing, he had collected his paycheck and then left, there was nothing weird, nothing out of the ordinary. No one in the entire town knew what had happened with Damon and Stefan, and the saddest thing was that no one cared.

On the third day I called the police, an elder man answered just as my mother was walking into my room.

"Officer Peterson, what can I do for you?" The voice in the background said

"Elena what are you doing?" The voice of my mother said.

"I want to report a missing person" I told the man on the other side of the phone while biting my nails. The sun was starting to set in the sky and a soft breeze moved the trees around the house.

"Elena hang up that damn phone" My mother shouted as she lounged herself at me and took the phone out of my hands. I watched in disbelief as she apologized to the officer and hung up.

"What are you doing?" I asked once I was able to find my words again. "Something had to have happened to him, mother, I have to find him" I said rapidly. My hair was a mess, my eyes were red and blotchy and there was a frenzy in my stare. Anyone who could have looked at me at that moment would have thought I was a crazy woman, and perhaps I was "You have to let me find him!" I shouted

"You won't find him Elena" She said in a hard voice. Her dark eyes looking at me with something resembling pity "And nothing bad happened to him"

"How could you know that?" I whispered, the adrenaline slowly leaving my body. "How could you-"

"We gave him a way out, that's what happened" She told me "Do you really think this is the life he wanted? Taking care of a seventeen-year-old and a baby? The man barely earns enough to live, Elena; he would never be able to support a child"

"What did you do?"

"Us? We did nothing" She walked closer to me and it was then that I noticed the bag she was holding, the one I had filled with the clothes I took to Damon's house "I always told you that that boy's intentions were no good" She stroked my face as a small smile appeared on her face "But we are here to take care of you"

I felt sick to my stomach, just looking at her made me feel sick. I slapped her hand away and moved backwards as fast as I could "Tell me what you did!" I shouted

"We did nothing" She said harshly "It's better to ask what he did to you" She let the bag of clothes fall onto the floor.

"Tell me, mother" I was full on sobbing now, the floor was moving underneath me and now there was no one to catch me "Please just tell me"

"Did you really think I was going to do nothing as I watched you run away with him?" She said straight to my face "That I was going to let you ruin your life? What do you think happened?" She moved towards the entrance "We offered him money, he took it and went away" She said before slamming the door of the room and walking away.

Money, my loving parents Damon Gabriel Salvatore money so he could leave me. The worst part? He took it. He took it and disappeared from my life. Please, try to digest that.

I never asked how much it was, I never could. My head was aching and there was a big weight in my chest, I tossed and turned all night in my bed without being able to sleep, I wanted to cry but my eyes were already too sore and my head kept throbbing so I did the best that I could, I took aspirins. But not one or two. I took the whole damn bottle.

It's not easy to kill yourself or to kill the baby living inside you, I know that. And only now as I think back to that moment I acknowledge that there was a baby inside me when I did what I did, at that moment I was just thinking about myself and how much it hurt, there was no baby, there was no one but me and that incessant pain consuming me.

After they got my stomach pumped they forced me to stay in the hospital for several nights. I remember laying there in the room smelling strongly of disinfectant, staring at the ceiling and thinking how messed up things got. I kept thinking that at this time I was supposed to be Damon's wife and we were going to be living somewhere with snow; that he would kiss me and I would dance for him and everything would be right in the world.

Instead I was here, trapped in this place with no one but my parents as my jailors. That Damon was somewhere else because he chose money over me. I remember thinking how unhappy my existence was and how much I wanted to disappear. So I tried to starve myself to death.

Once again, the baby who had miraculously survived my first attempt was only a secondary thought. I couldn't think about it at the moment, it was only me. Me who I wanted to get rid of.

It's amazing how long you can actually go without eating. Eventually you end up dying or it gets really hard to stand on your feet. But time really has to pass until you can die from starvation, in my case it only passed enough to make Isobel and John realize that their problem was so much bigger than they initially thought, that they couldn't control me and this was way out of their league.

They didn't know what to do with me, my baby had survived both of my suicide attempts and it was already too late to get an abortion. So they just had to think up another solution, or rather she did. Because well, Isobel was the master mind behind that brilliant plan.

I was sitting in the living room when they told me about it, my father's hand was on my knee and he looked at me with a guilty expression on his face. I had seen that same expression on his face ever since the day Damon left me.

"It'll be good for you sweetheart" He had said in a soft voice "It'll be nice there"

I was going to be sent away. To Stella Marie's house in Los Angeles, a house for…well 'those girls' as people often said. My mother had heard of this place because of Reverend Young, he thought it was the only solution to my problems, that way my dirty little secret would be locked away and no one would ever have to know of the shame Elena Gilbert brought into the household.

"Father young says it's pretty there, sweetheart" My father said softly and I could do nothing but stare straight ahead, lost in my thoughts "It's like a hotel they said"

"And it won't be for too long" My mother who was sitting across from us said "Only for five months or so and then you can return as if nothing happened"

I wanted to laugh, I wanted to shout and I wanted to cry. As if nothing had happened. I was going to be locked away in some place to hide my shame, I was going to give birth and then they would rip the baby out of my arms. How could she possibly think I could come back here as if nothing had happened?

"Elena, are you listening to what I'm saying?"

They watched me, she and my old loving father watched me. I moved my head but I couldn't utter a word, which was in form with my new plan. I was not going to say a word to anyone ever again.

What was the point? There was nothing I wanted to say anymore. This was supposed to be my new life, hiding secrets, locked away as an unwanted guest and dreaming about a blue eyed boy in a blue Camaro.

* * *

 **Review? Please don't hate me!**


	9. The house for unwed mothers

**Didn't think I'll be back so soon right?**

 **Well I have the most awful cold and I've been on bed all day feeling sorry for myself so I decided to cheer myself up a bit by posting a new chapter, this is possible thanks to my awsome beta Lorena for being so suportive and not abandoning me even when I throw her more than one chapter at once.**

 **Thaks a lot to everyone reading, I'm so glad you like the story.**

 **Love you all and please please leave a review.**

* * *

"Children and mothers never truly part, bound together by the beating of one another's heart."

 _ **Charlotte Gray**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

The place didn't look like a hospital, not that I had expected it to but a part of me wondered. It was in a very exclusive part of Los Angeles and it was formed with endless acres, the house was situated right in the middle of land. The house was completely white with red roof tiles; it had three floors and many rooms. The third floor was where the operating room and the infirmary were, we all had weekly checkups in there and we were also forced to attend mass three times a week in the small church that was also located on the property.

During the time I spent there a total of twenty-eight girls were also there, the youngest one was a red head girl who was fourteen and the oldest was a Jewish girl who had just turned eighteen. There was also a sixteen-year-old girl who suffered from a mild learning disability, she was a nice girl but everyone said she was a retard. She had been raped and that was the reason she was here and even though she was always so kind to everyone, not everybody treated her right. I remember looking at her and thinking how unfair it was, the world was mean to her because she was different, because she didn't fit the standards people had and every time I looked at her I thought back to Damon and Stefan and how the world had been mean to them as well because of the differences they portrayed. My roommate and I used to spend time with her since nobody else would and up until this day I still wonder what she came to be, I hope she is happy and in a nice place.

My roommate was a nice bubbly blonde girl named Caroline. She was three months younger than me and her pregnancy was ahead of mine by two months. Her belly was already showing and she used to pet it lovingly all the time. Even though I had entered that place with the resolution not to speak to anybody she had cracked my shield on the first day and we had bonded immediately. We weren't allowed to say our last names or where we came from, nor could we talk about the father of our babies and our lives back home but Caroline and I didn't care, we told each other pretty much everything. I told Caroline my story but never mentioned Damon's name, she told me the name of her child's father and even showed me a picture. He was the most handsome man she had ever seen she said, he was a teacher and had the most beautiful accent she ever heard; he was British and was also married as well as a father, which was why Caroline's baby could never be known of. She loved him still, even after he turned his back on her and that was something I could relate to.

The first few weeks were incredibly hard. I cried silently at night while thinking about Damon and all that waited for me in this place. I can still remember the sense of shame they made me feel... They used to tell us we were here because we had committed the ultimate sin, you were a burden to your family and you deserved all the pain you were suffering. The nuns look at you with disdain and barely say a word to you, in every mass we had to sit and listen to how incredibly bad the sins we had committed were and that we have to pray very hard to save our souls from eternal doom. When I first found out about my pregnancy, when I told Damon about it I was scared but not ashamed, how could I feel ashamed of something so pure and precious? Something we both had created. But once I was in Stella Marie's I couldn't help but think that maybe they were right, maybe I had sinned and that was why I was being punished. I realize now how incredibly stupid all that was but at the moment you could no nothing but sit there and listen to how you disgraced your very own family.

But they weren't all bad. There was a young nun of around twenty-five whose name was Evelyn, she was always kind to us, never saying anything about how we were the worst of society, but instead telling us what we could expect from the delivery and what happened once your baby was born, she taught us how to sew and used to have reading hours with us. She was one of the kindest souls I met back then and the only one who supported me when the time came.

Besides her no one else talked about our pregnancies, we went to the infirmary once a week; we peed in a cup and received the normal checkups but nothing else, no one would tell us anything. What was the point? We were girls who were going to deliver a baby and then give it away, what else was there we needed to know? It was better to keep us in the dark and not to think about pregnancies at all, like if that was easy.

"Oh my God when is this going to stop?" Caroline whined as she dropped herself on the bed and covered her face with a pillow "She's been at it for hours"

Linda, a nice sixteen year old Italian girl was having her baby on the upstairs floor and the screams could be heard all over the below floors.

"God can't they do something to help her?" I asked "Is it normal for it to take that long?" It had been midnight when the screams started and the moon was already hiding in the sky.

"They can sedate her and make her sleep but they never do, just in extreme cases and only until the last moment" Caroline said in a soft whisper "I'm scared" She admitted while looking at me.

"Me too" I whispered back as I rubbed my belly. I had been here for two months already and my belly was already showing, I rubbed it softly while smiling. I thought briefly that I couldn't wait to know if it was a boy or a girl and then the smile faded as quickly as it came, because it didn't matter what it was, I was not going to keep it.

"Time is coming" Caroline said, oblivious to my thoughts. I looked at her and watched her staring at her belly. She was nearing the seven months and knew her time was coming closer. I didn't want the day to arrive because then she would be gone and I would be left alone, with no one to confide in once again. "Do you think they'll let me hold her?" She asked

"Her?"

"I think it's a girl" She said with a smile

"I don't know" I answered honestly.

We both stayed in silence for a few seconds until an ear piercing scream resonated throughout the whole house, Caroline was up in a minute taking the rosary she kept in her bed and stood in front of the window, moving her fingers through the beds and praying silently. I stood up next to her and we stayed there until mid-morning when the screams from Linda stopped.

We later found out that once your baby was born you could decide whether to see it or not. You would spend five days at the clinic and then you would disappear, back to your old life, as if nothing happened.

Linda chose not to see her baby and we never knew if it was a girl or a boy, she knew of course but didn't tell us a thing. She was always such a high spirited girl, a lot like Caroline, but on the day she came to say goodbye there was nothing about that girl in her. Her eyes were red and there were dark circles underneath them, and even though she tried to smile when she said goodbye her smile didn't reach her eyes, something inside her had died in that operating room.

That was my first goodbye in Stella Marie, we all watched through the windows as she disappeared behind the bars and walked back to the life that was awaiting her. There was a deep sense of loss after she left, it wasn't like we had anything in common besides the bittersweet taste this place would leave us, but something about seeing her go with that dead look in her eyes left us all feeling somber because we all knew what was coming for us, we all knew that at the end of our stay here we would have to leave our child behind.

After Linda's departure I became more sociable, I no longer talked only to Caroline but to some of the other girls too. I never told any of them beside my roommate what happened with Damon and I but I did hear of their stories. Endless tales about Caroline and her teacher, about Mia and the guy from the drugstore; about Mary and her mom's dentist and Cookie and her next door neighbor. Endless stories of different women, here there were only twenty-eight of them but can you imagine how many more there were out there? Twenty eight woman and sadly they all had a ghost baby.

That's what Caroline had said the first time I talked to her "Welcome to the town of ghost babies"

* * *

"Do you think you'll ever see him again?" Caroline asked in a soft voice. We were sitting cross legged, across from each other on our own beds as we devoured a box of donuts my father had sent. Under no circumstances could we abandon the house or receive a call without supervision, but our family could come and visit and send us gifts.

My family never came but my dad used to send a box of my favorites donuts every week, Caroline and I used to end up with them alone, but now that I was being more friendly with the other girls we made sure to give some of them away too.

"I don't know. I don't think so" I answered truthfully "What about you?

"No, no I won't" She said and I saw a lonely tear escape her eye

"Are you alright?" I asked

"I sneaked into the main office" She admitted while dropping her donut on her knee, she leaned back and rubbed her round belly, she was getting bigger by the minute. "I called him, I wanted to hear him say he missed me… I wanted" She stopped talking and took a deep breath

"What happened?" I asked in a small voice

"He said I should never call him again. He can't have his wife knowing about the baby" She shook her head and smiled without a trace of happiness "A part of me hoped that with me being away… that he would miss me, that he would want us to be a part of his life" She touched her belly once again "That I wouldn't have to give it away" Her voice broke down and I stood up to move to her side immediately

"I'm sorry" I said while hugging her and resting my head on her shoulder

"I don't know what I was thinking" She said bitterly "He was an idiot; he was always an idiot" She stated "But your story is different Elena"

I laughed sardonically "How is it different? My boyfriend took the money my parents gave him to leave me, if you ask me that is worst" I said, I climbed completely onto the bed and pressed my back against the headboard

"I don't think that was the reason why he didn't show up" She said "I believe he loves you"

"And I believe you're a hopeless romantic" I answered while rolling my eyes and taking another bit of my donut "He left me, he took the money and left, that's what happened" I said, sounding a bit angrier than I intended to.

"Well I don't know" She said while looking at me with tenderness "But I do know you'll see him again someday" She said with a small smile "I have faith you will" She said while staring at the rosary that was resting on her bedside table

"You are the most positive person I've ever met" I said with a small smile. Part of me was hoping that what she was saying could be true, that Damon hadn't left with the money and that he would burst through Stella Marie's door any second to take me and our baby away. Foolish thoughts I realize now.

"Just please don't ever do anything to hurt yourself again" Caroline said while gripping my knee softly. I looked down, ashamed to remember what I had done with those aspirins a few months ago, of how I didn't think of my baby and what that could have caused it "Besides…it's a mortal sin and you know how I feel about it" She said with a chuckle before getting up and heading towards the bathroom.

I remember watching her go and thinking then that never in a million years did I expect to make such a good friend at that horrible place.

I leaned down on the bed and rubbed my now prominent belly, I hummed a soft lullaby and as I felt it move a big smile appeared on my lips "I hope you're a girl" I whispered softly "He wanted a girl" I got chocked up at my own words "And I hope you have his eyes"

I cried myself to sleep that night, silently not letting Caroline know. I cried myself to sleep and for the first time in a long time I prayed, I didn't truly believe in God, nor had I been much of a catholic before, but Caroline's faith inspired me and somehow I knew that I needed to hold onto someone if I wanted to be warm at night. So I prayed, I prayed for something to happen and release me from these chains they had put around me.


	10. Ghost Babies

" **Giving birth does not make a mother…Placing a child for adoption does not make her less of one."**

 ** _Unknown_**

.

.

October had arrived and that meant Mia's delivery date, we heard her scream for less time than Linda but it was still just as strong. Caroline and I sat in our bedroom and prayed for it to be over soon, my friend gripped the crystal beds on her rosary as the minutes went by.

Mia had a baby boy and unlike Linda she did ask to see him. After you had your baby you were able to remain five days at the clinic but you could only see your baby during limited periods of time, they didn't let you feed him and when the day of the departure arrived they would let you be alone with your baby for thirty minutes in one of the upstairs room. The Goodbye room as the girls used to call it.

Up until that moment I had never seen it but I heard that it had white walls and a big window facing the back garden, the girls who had been able to see it said it was the most beautiful room in the house, how ironic is that it was the place where you would last see your child.

We were all having breakfast downstairs in the dining room when they took Mia's boy, the nuns were going to take him with his new family and the whines and cries of Mia were heard all over the whole house, she wanted her baby back.

"It's not enough" She cried "I need more time, it's not enough"

We all dropped our spoons and stared at each other in silence while Mia's pleas kept sounding emanating throughout the house. I think at that moment we were all thinking the same thing, soon our time would come and we would be in Mia's place, giving away a part of ourselves.

"I need more time, please" She cried

But no one gave her more time. The nuns disappeared behind the doors with the baby in their arms and hours later it was Mia's time. She didn't even come to say goodbye. Sister Evelyn told us that Mia was just too sad and she didn't want for us to see her that way.

And so, that October morning another one of my friends disappeared back to her old life, with the ghost of a baby in her arms.

.

.

"I wonder when the bean will finally show up" Caroline said as we folded the sheets in front of us. We both worked in the laundry and in the time we had been here I was sure we had folded enough sheets to cover the length of Texas.

"You still have time Care" I said while I focused on the task at hand. Caroline had started calling her baby 'bean' a couple of weeks back and she was getting more anxious with every passing day, she was due in a few more weeks but she used to say that she felt like bean could pop out at any time.

"Well I hope it's faster than with Linda and Mia" She told me "I would hate to be in pain for so long" I chuckled as she finished with another pile of clean sheets.

"But why do I have to come and work here? I want to stay at the dining room. I like cooking" Caroline and I looked at each other when we heard the voices coming from above us.

"You will work here because I say so." The hard voice of one of the nuns answered "The dining room is full and more people are needed her"

The voices grew closer and as Caroline and I started with a new pile one of the nuns came in dragging one of the new girls called Karen. She was gripping her arm as she practically pushed her towards us.

"There's no need to treat her like that" Caroline said with a frown

"When I want your opinion Caroline I will ask for it" The old nun answered

"Excuse me but I think we deserve some respect" My blonde friend said angrily as Karen shied away towards where I was standing "You must be kinder to her, she's pregnant"

"As if I hadn't notice that" The nun buffed "If you wanted to be treated with more respect than you should have kept your legs closed" She spat and looked at us "All of you" She huffed and walked back towards the stairs.

"That evil bitch" Caroline muttered under her breath and Karen's eyes opened like plates

"Caroline" I chastised her while looking towards the stairs to make sure the sister was already up and hadn't heard my friend's words.

"What? I'm a catholic but I can spot a bitch when I see one" She chuckled and I couldn't help but laugh, you could always count on Caroline to make you laugh when you needed her. "Are you okay?" She asked Karen

The girl only nodded and stayed silent while working with us but after that day Caroline became a hero to her.

Later that day I stayed awake all night thinking about the sermon the father had spoken about today at mass. He told us we should feel blessed and be grateful that someone was taking care of us. He told us that being here was the best choice we had because no man would marry us if he knew we had sinned in such a way, that they would call our children bastards and there was no worst punishment for a little child. He told us we could earn forgiveness if we prayed enough and behaved as we should, on that last part he looked at Caroline and I knew that sister Genevive had spoken with him about the incident in the laundry room.

I placed a hand on my belly and felt the baby move, it moved like crazy at night and I used to stay awake for as long as I could just to feel her or him move. It was the only moment where I felt close to my child. An idea had been swirling around my head ever since Mia had her child, what if the best thing for my baby was to stay with me? No one was ever going to love it like me, the baby was a part of me and a part of Damon, I could give it all the love in the world. If I could convince my father maybe he would help me out, he would find a way for me to keep the baby but as soon as those thoughts started to appear in my head an inside voice told me I was being naïve, just as I had been when I thought Damon and I would be together forever.

I didn't want my child to be called a bastard, to be excluded from everything. What could I possibly do to keep my child? How could I provide for him, what could I offer it? Love, love was all I had to give and I knew in my heart that love wasn't enough.

* * *

" _Come on, open it up" Damon whispered with a childish smile while we sat next to the small Christmas tree tucked in the corner of his small living room. I was holding a small box wrapped in blue and white wrapping paper, it had a dark blue ribbon and a card that read_

 _ **From: Damon**_

 _ **To: Elena**_

" _Do you like the wrapping?" He said "I did it myself, I asked Stefan for his advice on the paper, just to not mess up" He was so nervous that it made my heart ache for him. I loved the moments when this childish vulnerability appeared in him, it was as if he needed me to reassure him that he was doing things right, like he needed a reminder that we were together and I loved him._

" _Damon, it's beautiful" I whispered and smiled at him before taking the paper carefully as to not break it, inside there was a black box and when I opened it I saw the most beautiful bracelet I had ever seen. It was made of silver and the design was two chains wrapped together, it was delicate and perfect and it was the best gift I had ever received. "Oh my God, I love it"_

" _Do you? Really?"_

" _Of course, it's beautiful"_

" _It's just like us you see" He said while touching the two chains "Always together" He smiled at me and I wanted to cry right at that moment, I had so much love in my heart for that boy. I leaned over and took his face between my hands and kissed him_

" _It's the best gift someone's ever given me" I told him honestly. I didn't even want to think of how much it had cost him or for how long he had to save up to buy it. I knew that giving me things made him happy so I wasn't going to call him on it. "Merry Christmas, Damon" I whispered next to his lips_

" _Merry Christmas doll" He answered before kissing me again._

I woke up the morning of my eighteen birthday with that memory fresh in my mind, I had been dreaming about him for about two continuous weeks already. Truth be told he was always on my mind, but lately I had been thinking about him more than usual, maybe it was because my due date was nearing or because today marked the day we were supposed to be free.

We were going to run away and lay low until I turned eighteen _"Then they won't be able to keep us apart sweetheart, we'll finally be free doll"_ he had said but instead here I was. Locked away in Stella Marie and he was nowhere to be found.

" _You're my girl, Elena; I will always keep you safe"_

How could he say those words to me and then disappear with the money my parents had given him? My mother told me these were all things he said to get in my bed but I knew, something inside me knew that his words were true, I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me. _"I will always love you"_ he used to say. And something inside of me refused to believe that money had been able to erase all of those feelings.

My birthday was a bit different than previous years; my parents didn't even call me. How different it was from Caroline's birthday when her parent's came to visit her with cake and food for everyone. I thought it was going to be a lonely and sad day but it wasn't and I think I loved it even more. Sister Evelyn let some of the girls into the kitchen at night and they prepared me a beautiful birthday cake. They took it up to my room and we all locked ourselves there eating cake and treats that they had managed to get.

They sang me a happy birthday and hugged me, wishing me the best. Even Pauline, the girl with the learning disability was there, she had made me a beautiful blanket with my name on it, it was pink and the fabric was so soft that it almost slipped through my fingers. I thanked her and hugged her tightly and felt like crying without really knowing why.

These girls who were so different from me, who came from so many different places and lifestyles, these girls who I had nothing in common with except our ghost babies had showed me more love and acceptance than even my own parents. Perhaps it was because we were all in the same situation and inside this cold house we only had each other.

We laughed, joked, sang and even danced around for four hours. It was a nice birthday and perhaps the last true happy moment I spent in that house, October was coming to an end and with the winter coming so was the worst part of it all.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	11. Going away means forgetting

**Another chapter yay! Again, courtesy of my lovely beta Lorena.**

 **I think many of us don't realize how hard it was for women at that time to find themselves in a situation where they would have to give away their babies, I think we can talk and we can think that we would do it differently but the reality is that we don't know or at least in my case I don't know and I mean let's just look around and see how hard things still are for women these days, just imagine fifty years ago when the shame of being a single mom was definitely the worst thing that could happen to you, the subject of unwed mothers during baby scoop era has always been deeply sad to me and it's in part why I decided to write this, for this story I read a very touching book called "The girls who went away" by Ann Fessler which collects a lot of testimony's of mother's who had to give their children away during that time and it's just heart breaking.**

 **Anyway, the point of this very long author's note is please don't judge the characters too harshly, they did or didn't do what they thought was the right thing so please be kind to them.**

 **Enough with my rambling, here we go.**

* * *

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."

 **J.M Barry**

 **.**

.

Caroline went into labor on a Friday night. The pain was not sharp at the beginning so I kept her awake most of the night. We talked about Nicklaus, her teacher, and about Damon. We talked about our families and our babies and about everything we could think of.

"Have you thought about a name?" I asked while I moved the hair out of her forehead, her contractions were still very apart but she was sweating like crazy, I think it was nerves more than anything.

"I don't think we get to name them Elena"

"No, but we are allowed to write down a name on the birth certificate. Have you thought of any?"

She shook her head "Not really, what about you?"

I looked at her hand where the rosary was twisted around her fingers "Gabriela if it's a girl…I think it's a girl" I said and I saw her hand move towards mine.

"Gaby, I like it. It's a pretty name" She smiled at me while her hand gripped mine.

"His middle name was Gabriel"

"I'm sure she'd like to carry her father's name" Caroline told me.

We stayed in silence for a while; every time a pain hit her she would grip my hand tightly. The pain wasn't so strong yet and very far apart so she didn't want me to call any of the sisters, she wanted to go into the operating room when her water broke, that way she would spend less time in there.

"Are you afraid?" I asked

"Yeah, I mean I'm scared because of how much it's going to hurt, but I know I'll be okay. The virgin Mary is taking care of me" She smiled warmly at me.

I admired her faith, I didn't know if I could put my trust in something the way she did with God and her Saints. Sometimes I thought that it was the only thing that allowed her to be as positive as she was in a place as dark as this house.

"I don't have something like you do Caroline… I don't have someone to pray to"

"I know"

"It's not that I don't believe in God because I do but I don't have someone specific to pray to like you do" I said a bit aggravated. This whole thing was making me terribly nervous.

"Of course you do silly, you can pray to God" She stroked my hair softly "And if you want you can pray to the virgin as well. She doesn't ask you to believe in her, she listens to everyone who asks for her help"

"I'll try" I said. Her warm smile eased some of the tension inside me.

We continued talking nonsense for the rest of the night and in the morning I had to leave her to go to the laundry room to do our chores. She showed up there around nine o'clock wearing the most frightening look in her eyes "I think my water just broke" She said.

They didn't let me go inside with her. I wanted to hold her hand and tell her everything would be okay but I couldn't. In Stella Marie's no one was allowed to watch a delivery unless it was your own. I paced back and forth in the room while her screams were heard, they weren't as loud as Mia's and Linda's, but they still made the hairs on my arms stand up.

I prayed as I held the rosary she had left behind; the minutes seemed to drag on and on. I knew the whole house was in the same state as me because Caroline was very loved among all of us, and then finally a little bit over 12 pm we heard the cries of a baby. It was over. Caroline had delivered her baby.

We all knew what was coming, she would spend five days in the infirmary, she would decide if she wanted to meet the baby and if she did she would be taken to the goodbye room on the fifth day and after that she would hand over her baby to the new parents. But things didn't go as everyone believed. She refused to sign the papers, she took a look at the little bean and then all hell broke loose.

"I'm not going to do it Elena"

"Caroline you have to" I said in a whisper

"They can't make me do it" She said.

We were talking in whispers since I technically wasn't supposed to be here. I had sneaked into her room after sister Angeline went to sleep. Do you know how hard it is for a woman of seven months pregnant to sneak into a place? I was sitting on the floor next to her bed in complete darkness.

"Your parents won't let you keep her" I said

"Then I'll leave" She said, gripping the rosary I had brought to her.

"Oh Caroline, how are you going to care for her? How are you going to get enough money?" Tears were streaming freely down my cheeks. I stood up and sat next to her on the bed; I gripped her hands tightly and could feel both of us shaking.

"Where will you go?"

"Home. I'll go back home"

"But people will know" I sobbed "They will call her a bastard and they will close all of their doors on you." I said "You heard father Moore, they hate women like us Caroline"

"I don't care, Elena. I'm not giving my baby away to anyone"

"Oh Caroline" I cried

She wiped her nose with the sheet and smiled "She is perfect, she has my blonde hair and ten fingers and toes. She smiled at me Elena, she smiled and I knew I could never let her go" She cried harder as she gripped my hands "I'll do whatever it takes but I won't let them take her"

I hugged her as we continued to cry. I always admired Caroline but in that moment I admired her more than ever, I wished I had her strength. I wished I could fight for my child the way she was doing it.

Her parents arrived the next day. We were all piled up on the stairs trying to hear what they were saying but we couldn't figure out any of the words being said. There was a lot of yelling and crying and more yelling, but at the end of the day Caroline's parents didn't want to lose their child, and she wasn't giving up on the baby, so they agreed on letting her come back home. She would get a job and would live with them until she could be independent enough to do it on her own.

And that was it. Caroline had done it. She was keeping her little bean.

They let us say goodbye to her, but we weren't allowed to see the baby. There were hugs and cries and promises to see everyone again. The house was very gloomy the day she left; she was always such a bright light in the darkness that surrounded this place.

I sneaked out once again when she was leaving, I stood at the gates and watched as they walked out, she went to me and I was able to see the baby behind the bars "You're so beautiful" I whispered in awe before placing a soft kiss onto her forehead. She was wearing a yellow hat that matched with the yellow knitted shoes she was wearing. She was five days old and was incredibly big.

"Will you come visit Elena?" She had written her address on a piece of paper and had begged me to come see her once I was out of this place.

"I promise" I said while my voice broke down

She leaned her head into the bars right next to mine "You'll be okay Elena" She said while a few tears fell from her eyes "The virgin Mary is going to take care of you" I nodded

"Caroline it's time to go!" Her mother shouted from the door of the cab

"I'm coming!" She yelled, looking over her shoulder "Say goodbye to Auntie Elena baby" She raised the baby so I could kiss her forehead again

"Goodbye Lizzie" I whispered and stroked the little chubby cheeks of the baby

"I love you Elena" She said

"I love you too Caroline" I sobbed.

We gripped our fingers through the bars of Stella Marie a few seconds longer and then she was gone. I felt like I was going to die, I cried and stayed there trying to absorb the fact that my best friend had left and I was all alone here. I got up long after the cab had disappeared into the street and only because the cold was becoming too much. My legs were numb from sitting for so long; I got to the fountain and was going to grip it for support when I realized I had something in my hand. Caroline had put her small rosary around my fingers. I gripped the crystal beds until they left marks on my fingers, as if that were the only thing that could keep giving me strength.

I knew in my heart that Caroline and I would see each other again, so I started walking back to the house. I still had two more months here and I was going to need all the strength I could get.

My new roommate arrived a week afterwards, she was a fifteen-year-old girl from Texas who was as sweet as honey and loved to chat but I simply didn't have it in me to bond with her, not after Caroline. I had realized how dangerous it was to get attached to the people in here.

After she left I spent a lot of my time in the church, I went there and watched the statue of the Virgin Mary while holding Caroline's rosary, I asked her for a signal, for something to tell me what I should do because every time I closed my eyes I saw the baby in my friend's arms.

I knew I had a baby, I talked to it and sang to it and loved when I felt it kicking but up until I saw Lizzie I didn't think I truly understood what it meant to have a little human growing inside me. How was I going to be able to let them take my baby away?

Pauline was showing me how to sew so I used to spend most nights awake feeling my baby move while sewing. I managed to write my baby's name on the blanket Pauline had given me for my birthday, something inside me knew I was having a girl and I wanted to make something pretty for her.

After a lot of thinking I decided to go to sister Evelyn and tell her about my doubts, we were sitting on a bench in one of the gardens when I told her, she gripped my hand and looked at me straight in the eye "Are you sure this is what you want Elena? Do you completely understand the implications of this?" She asked

"I know. I know it's going to be hard" I said, my voice breaking

"Raising a child is not an easy task Elena" She told me "And you understand that people will talk"

"They say we are bad, that we have sinned and we are women with no morals. But sister, I saw the baby Caroline was holding, I feel my little one growing and kicking inside me and I wonder… how can we be bad and create something so perfect?" Tears were running down my cheeks "I don't care what the people say, I can't let her go"

She looked at me with sympathy "My sweet Elena, I've always had a soft spot for you" She said with a smile "And of course I understand, it's normal for you to feel this way"

"I want to keep it" I sobbed "Sister I want to keep my baby" She held me while I cried, said soft words and promised she would be on my side when the time came. She told me to write a letter for my parents exposing my point of view and all the reasons I should be allowed to keep my baby.

I did as she told me and I begged my mother and father for their support. I told them I would work and would find a way to support the baby but that I needed their help. I said that I didn't care about what people thought and that I was going to be the best mother for my child, I told them no one else was going to love it like me and that I needed for them to give me the chance to prove that I could do this.

We sent the letter on a Monday morning but days passed and I never got an answer.

December came and as Christmas neared my mind kept going back to Damon and wondering where he was and what he was doing. I went back to Caroline's words and thought if maybe she could be right, maybe he didn't leave because of the money, maybe something happened to him.

But it didn't truly matter anymore because he wasn't here and I was on my own. I still had no response from my parents and Sister Angelique wouldn't allow me to call them.

On the fourteen I woke up in the middle of the night feeling the most excruciating pain I had ever felt and knew it was time. My baby was coming.


	12. The Goodbye Room

"You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting."

 **J.M Barrie**

 **.**

 **.**

It was the most horrible pain I had experienced in my young life. They took me to the operating room, prepared me and strapped me to the table. I can't remember how long I was in there; I just remember that I kept praying for it to be over. Nobody talked to me; nobody said what was going on. It wasn't that they were treating me badly; it was just that everything felt so clinic-like; I just needed to be there and push when they told me to.

I was so scared and lonely, tears were streaming down my face and I wished for Damon to be there with me, or Caroline, or my dad or anyone to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay. The room was too cold and dark, I don't think I'd ever felt more alone than I did in that moment.

As if someone had heard my prayers a soft hand took ahold of mine and I was able to crane my neck enough to see the sweet smile of Sister Evelyn there "It's alright sweet Elena, you'll be fine" She whispered and I gripped her hand as another contraction hit me. She stroked the hair out of my face and whispered sweet words to me during the rest of the delivery.

After what felt like hours to me I felt some pressure being relieved from my lower body and between the haziness that was my memory I heard them say her weight and height as I felt them untie my arms, they were numb, but I tried to move them around as Sister Evelyn was telling me I should do.

Then I felt them putting a baby in my numb arms. An incredibly small baby and I knew it was her. Sister Evelyn placed her in my arms, I looked down as her tiny eyes opened and I was unable to breath. This was the signal of the Virgin Mary. This beautiful human being resting in my arms was my daughter; she was mine and only mine.

She looked at me as if she already knew who I was; I stared at her in return. Counted all of her little fingers and toes, I memorized every part of her. Her soft knees and tiny ears; her small nose and her plump little mouth. She had lots of dark hair, a dimple on her left cheek and dark lashes framed the bluest eyes I had ever seen. She was wearing a tiny bracelet in her wrist that read "Girl. Gilbert. December 14, 1960. 2:40 PM"

I couldn't stop staring at her; I couldn't believe she was real. She was so still, completely quiet and looking at me with Damon's eyes. So calm and quiet in my arms. I touched her little hand and she wrapped her fingers around mine. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek and I didn't care about who was watching me cry, it was as if the world had disappeared and it was just us two, just the two of us and nothing else in the world mattered.

Then all too soon they took her away from my arms. I protested but they said I needed to rest and so did the baby. They put me to sleep after that. I woke up feeling disorientated many hours after that and asked to see her but they told me it wasn't visiting time.

They never allowed me to be with her alone, there was always one of them in the room when they brought her to me and they only brought her when it was feeding time, not that I could breastfeed her. No, she could only be fed through a bottle. I held her and watched, feeling marveled at how she sucked from the little bottle and the dimple appeared in her cheek. I kissed her everywhere, caressed her little head and her soft cheeks. I wanted to hold her for forever.

I was to remain in the clinic for five days like with any other normal delivery, the only thing that wasn't normal was that after those five days I was going to go back home without a baby.

Welcome to the town of ghost babies, Caroline had said. She couldn't have been more right.

How could I leave her? How could I walk away from here and leave this little angel to strangers, with someone who wasn't her mother, that wasn't going to love her like I would? She was mine and I loved her, I couldn't let her stay here all alone, she needed me.

My parents came on the fifth day and both refused to meet my little angel. We locked ourselves in father Moore's office; him, my parents, Sister Evelyn and I. I pleaded with them to let me keep my baby, I just needed their help for a while and then I was going to be able to support myself on my own, just like Caroline. I just needed for them to help me out at the beginning.

"Absolutely not" The evil witch, also known as my mother, said as she paced frantically around the room. I can still remember her gray dress and the pearl necklace resting on her neck. My father was sitting on a chair in the back of the room with his head down and his elbows resting over his knees "We don't even need to be arguing over this Elena; the baby will be given up for adoption"

"But my letter-"

"Oh we read your letter" She spat "Pure nonsense" She shook her head "This is ridiculous, Elena, how can you possibly believe that you will be able to raise a child, you're just a child yourself!"

"Mrs. Gilbert, maybe there's a way-"Sister Evelyn started to say but my mother interrupted her

"No Sister, I cannot believe you were this irresponsible to let the girl think she could keep the baby" My mother spat and I saw sister Evelyn look down in shame as father Moore threw her an angry glance "The baby will be left with him like we agreed, there will be no change of plans"

"I was never okay with this" I shouted between sobs "I never said anything, I didn't even think about a baby at the moment…. I didn't know, I don't know what I was thinking" I cried, Sister Evelyn put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed

"There is no way you can help her out?" The sister asked my mother. My father remained in silence.

"I can get a job, mother, please" I said

She turned around so quick that I was surprised her neck didn't crack "Doing what? You barely got your high school degree. Elena, you've never worked in your entire life"

"I could… I don't know I could work in a store"

"Oh my God hear her out!" She laughed sardonically "Work in a store? This is just proof of how childish you still are. You have no idea of the money it takes to raise a child" Her eyes looked at me hardly "And where would you live? Not with me, that's for sure, not as long as you have a child. I won't have the neighbors murmuring behind my back" I looked at my father for help but he remained still, in the corner looking down at his shoes. "You're not strong enough for this Elena"

"With all due respect, Mrs. Gilbert" Sister Evelyn said "If this is what Elena wants she can do it, with the help of God"

"No, she can't" My mother looked at me once again "Tell me, Elena, just tell me what you think you can offer your child"

"Love" I wanted to shout. I can give her my love, but I remained in silence because I knew that that would not be enough for her.

"Your mother is right Elena" Father Moore spoke for the first time since this meeting had started "Do you want your daughter to be called a bastard, do you want her to grow without a father? The family who wants her is a wealthy family; they could provide things for her that you on your own could never do" His warm hazel eyes stared at me as I kept sobbing quietly "Do you want her to have a better life? To grow up in a house with a normal family? To be happy, those are the things the adoption can give her"

I broke down in tears, full on sobs as Sister Evelyn held my hand and stroked my hair "But she's mine" I said

"You're young, Elena, there's still a life for you out there" He continued "You'll go to college and you'll meet a good nice boy and then get married. And after that you'll have more children, with time you won't even remember this one" My head shot up and I wanted to start yelling. How could he say that? I won't even remember this one? Like my baby was something I could just shove under the rug like it never existed, the man clearly had no idea what it meant to be a mother.

"You see Elena? I am right" My mother said harshly "There is no way you can provide enough for this child, you'll do her best if you send her away" She turned around and walked towards my father "We will be leaving this night and the child will remain here, I will not let you carry a baby at eighteen. God knows I won't let you ruin your future like that."

I looked at her and I remembered feeling a hatred so pure and raw, I felt ashamed of having the same blood as hers running through my veins "I was so alone and so scared and it hurt like nothing before but when they put her in my arms and she looked at me" I said as tears ran down my face "She opened her beautiful eyes and looked at me and she knew…she knew she was mine" My father's eyes finally met mine and I could see the regret in them "She is mine and I am hers. I am her mother and no matter what you do or who you send her with, that's never going to change. I am her mother"

Now you may think I was strong enough and told my mother to go to hell. That I took my baby and ran away from her but I didn't. Sister Evelyn talked to me and told me about ways the church could help me, even father Moore said that if I really wanted to keep the baby they could help me find some place decent to stay. I listened and listened and wanted for everything they talked about to work out, but I knew, I knew my mother was right. I wasn't going to be able to do this without her. Unlike Caroline I was going to be alone in the world, with no one backing me up. My daughter would grow up in the worst conditions and feeling rejected from the world. I had to do what was best for her, I had to give her a chance to grow up in a nice family who could provide her with things I couldn't.

At the end of the day I proved to be what I always thought I was. A coward. I let my daughter slip through my fingers, proving, God forgive me, that my mother was right in everything she said about me.

* * *

I wasn't allowed to sign the papers inside Stella Marie so I drove with the lawyer and Sister Evelyn to a diner a few miles away. We sat there at the table, it was the first time I was out in the real world in six months but I didn't care. The lawyer put the documents on the table and then asked in a hard voice, "Is someone forcing you to do this?"

I gripped the table and could feel the blood draining out of my face.

"Are you good Elena?" The sister asked me softly "Need to throw up again?" I had done it twice before leaving the house. I shook my head and heard the voice of the lawyer once again.

"Elena, did someone force you to do this?"

"No" I answered.

It was the truth right? No one had put a gun to my head and told me I needed to do this. I made that mistake on my own. I don't remember the rest of the questions or what happened afterwards, everything is foggy in my memory, I signed the papers and that was it. I, Elena Gilbert had given up my daughter.

When we returned to Stella Marie, Sister Angelique was waiting for me at the door. With a kind smile, one I had never seen in her before, she led me to the room in the third floor. The goodbye room. The girls had been right; it was the most beautiful room in the house. The walls were so white that they made the place look brighter, huge windows were framed by white lace curtains that were currently blowing in the air and the smell of fresh flowers could be scented all over the room.

A beautiful wood rocking chair was placed next to one of the windows and it was there where I sat with my baby. It was the only time I was going to be alone with her. Thirty minutes. Just thirty minutes and then she would be out of my life forever.

I sat there with her, her little finger wrapped around one of mine, her eyes were open and she looked at me with such peace. I wanted for her to remain like this forever, innocent and peaceful.

"My sweet Gaby" I whispered "My little angel"

They were wrong, they were all wrong. How could anything of what happened with Damon be wrong if God had allowed us to create something so pure and perfect?

While I held her in my arms I tried to explain everything to her, I told her she would have good parents who were going to care for her more than I could, I asked her to forgive me because I wasn't strong enough to keep her but that I knew she would grow up to be stronger than me because half of her was her father, and he was the strongest man I'd ever known. I told her about Damon and how much I loved him and I told her I was sure he loved me too. I said to her that it didn't matter how things had ended up, she was a product of true love and that made her very special.

I sang to her for a while as I rocked her and tried to memorize every single part of her. Her smell, her eyes that were so much like her father's, I kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks. I held her against my chest and cried because I wasn't strong enough.

Then I told her what I had written in the birth certificate, I told her I had named her Gabriela Salvatore Gilbert because even if we weren't married, I wanted her to have both of our names. I said that it was likely her new parents would change her name but something inside her would always tell her who she truly was.

I got up and walked around the room with her pressed to my chest while I kept singing softly to her, then I kissed every part of her body again and wrapped her in the pink blanket Pauline had given me on my birthday, the one that had both of our names. I looked into her eyes and I told her I was going to meet her again someday, that no matter the hardships or the time I was going to find her. Then I wrapped the rosary Caroline had given me around her wrist so that the Virgin Mary would always look out for her, it was the only thing that meant something to me in this place, the only piece of me I could give her.

I looked at her once again, trying to drink her all in in that last look. I kissed her forehead and breathed in her scent, and then I finally opened the door.

Up until this day there's nothing I regret more in the world than opening that door and letting them take my daughter away.

* * *

 **Please try not to hate me too much. Review?**

 **And don't worry, we will hear Damon's side of the story soon.**


	13. She is broken and won't ask for help

**Hey there!**

 **You have oficially arrived to the present part of the story, we're going to have a little bit of change in the writting because now we will be seeing things in a third person pov, or at least that's what i'm trying to achieve. I want to thank everyone who is still reading this story, you mean the world to me and also i want to thank my beta Lorena for being always awsome with me.**

 **And Merry belated Christmas everyone! I hope you all had an amazing time with your loved ones and I hope you're preparing for a wonderful New Year, I'm so thankful for having your support and love through this year and I wish we can continue getting to know each other in the new year coming.**

 **Enough with my rambling,**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

It's not what I asked for  
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door  
And carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true  
And now I've got you  
And you're not what I asked for  
If I'm honest I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over  
And rewrite an ending or two for the girl that I knew

 **-Sara Bareilles-**

 **.**

 **.**

Elena Gilbert closed the door of her small apartment and was overwhelmed with the quietness she found. It was around three am and even though outside the city was still buzzing with life there was nothing but silence in the space she liked to call home.

 _After leaving Stella Marie without her baby in her arms Elena came back to Mystic Falls with her parents but things could never be the same way again. Her mother expected her to take on the role she had before leaving but that wasn't possible anymore, Elena had changed too much and could never be the same again. She got herself a job and worked her ass off for a few months until she could gather enough money to move out, in that time she was like a ghost in her own home, she couldn't even look at them and she sure as hell wouldn't say a single word to her mother._

Elena dropped her bag on the floor next to the couch and walked towards her bedroom while undoing the chignon she had on her head. Her feet were aching but some of the adrenaline of the night was still running through her veins.

 _After she had enough money she bought a ticket to New York and rented a small studio apartment in the ugliest part of the city, she didn't care, she only wanted to be separated from her parents, she couldn't bear to breathe in the same space as them._

 _Things were rough the first few months; she worked inhumane hours as a waitress in a little diner while auditioning for every single play she could find. The city was big and lousy and nothing at all like the little quiet town she was used to. On those nights when she arrived to her awful apartment she would lay down on her tiny bed and cry for hours, she cried for her daughter and cried because her life was nothing like she had planned._

Elena started filling the tub and added some salts to make it relaxing, it had been a stressful day and she needed the time for herself more than any other day. She undressed slowly as the tub filled up and went to the sink to brush her teeth. In the mirror her reflection stared back at her with tired sad eyes, she had been feeling very depressed and she couldn't figure out why.

 _After what seemed interminable months of living the most depressing life in New York things started working out. Elena got herself a part as a backup dancer in a small Broadway play and just like that her life started getting better. She didn't want to be a star, didn't want to be the lead in anything, that dream had died a long time ago in the parking lot of a dance school in Mystic Falls. At the moment she just wanted to do what she loved and have enough money to survive. And so she finally became a professional dancer, always in the back but with a heart finally feeling at peace and starting to heal._

Elena submerged herself slowly in the tub and shuddered at the hot temperature of the water. It was good for her aching muscles, she had been rehearsing since early in the afternoon for a new show and her body was aching everywhere. She threw her head back on the edge of the tub and closed her eyes.

 _Caroline and Elena kept in touch after the brunette came out of Stella Marie so when she called the summer of 1966 and told her she was moving to New York with little Lizzie Elena couldn't be happier. By that time Elena was already living in another building in a much better zone and she got her friend a nice deal on one of the apartments in the same floor she was, a place where they both still lived to this day._

 _Caroline had gone back to school with the help from her parents and became a teacher so now she could afford to live on her own with her little one. She never heard of Lizzie's father ever again and was more than happy for it, with time she realized he was a man who didn't deserve to have an angel like Lizzie in his life._

 _Elena's life became brighter the day her friend moved, she had been so alone for so long that their arrival came to fill the space she had in her heart, especially little Lizzie. Elena adored the little girl and loved to spend time with her, Caroline always looked at her with sad eyes whenever she saw her with Lizzie, she remembered that awful place and what Elena had been forced to abandon there._

Elena stepped out of the tub and dried herself with a fluffy towel; she changed into her pajamas and headed towards her bedroom once again. She was feeling more tired than usual and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and fall asleep but something was pulling at the strings of her heart and made her go into the closet first. She dug into a pile of clothes and pulled out a small wooden box.

 _Elena tried to live her life as if nothing had happened, she woke up every day with the determination to change things, she dated trying to find a guy who could make her feel like she used to but it never worked, he still remained the only man in her life and perhaps he would be forever. She tried to do things like it was expected of her but she couldn't. She couldn't forget his blue eyes, she couldn't forget that house, she couldn't forget the feel of her daughter in her arms._

 _It would be like nothing ever happened. Father Moore had told her the day she gave up her child. How wrong he had been, because it had happened and it left her with a hole so big no amount of success or money could fill it._

Elena took the small box and went to her big plush bed; she climbed on it and went underneath the covers, the room suddenly turning chillier than before. She opened the box and pulled a small bracelet that read "Female. Gilbert. December 14, 1960. 2:40 PM" she took that from her daughter's small wrist the day she gave her away, she wanted to have something to remind her of her, something to let her know it was real and that her daughter was somewhere out there.

That even though her baby wasn't with her she was a mother and nothing was going to be able to take that from her.

Elena kissed the bracelet as the tears started to flow, she would let herself break down for just one night, one night to remember and to mourn everything she lost almost ten years ago.

* * *

Elena was moving around the kitchen while Lizzie sat on the high counter of the kitchen. Caroline was having a date tonight so that meant it was Elena's time to babysit, an activity that brought an immense pleasure to her.

"I have a question" The nine year old girl asked

"Alright" Elena asked while stirring the sauce on the stove

"Is that Liam guy your boyfriend?" Lizzie asked while scrunching her nose up and Elena had to hide her laugh at the girl's expression

"No he's not. We're just friends" Elena answered. Liam was a sweet boy who worked with them in the play they were presenting; he was a dancer like her and had had a crush on Elena for as long as she could remember. She agreed to go out with him in one or two occasions but she could never feel anything towards him more than friendship so she let him know it was never going to be like that for them.

"That's good because I don't like him" Lizzie said petulantly and Elena could do nothing but laugh

"Oh God, you're so much like your mom it's creepy" Elena said while the girl grinned widely

"Auntie Ellie what are we doing today?" Lizzie asked as she swung her legs while sitting on the high counter on Elena's kitchen. She had started calling Elena that when she was two and still couldn't say her full name so the nickname had stuck and now even Caroline called her that.

"We are making cookies and eating them all while I read stories to you" The brunette answered before pressing a swift kiss onto the little girl's nose

"Yay!" She said while throwing her hands in the air

"Don't get your aunt too tired Lizzie" Caroline said with a chuckle while entering the kitchen "How do I look?" She asked Elena while twirling around. The blonde was wearing a bright fuchsia knee length dress with long sleeves and a thick belt around the waist.

"You look really pretty mommy" Lizzie answered with a deep smile

"I agree with the girl, you look fantastic"

"I'm really excited" The blonde girl said while clapping her hands

"I hope he is cute" Lizzie said "Not like Auntie Ellie's boyfriend"

"Hey! We agreed he's not my boyfriend" Elena laughed while bumping Lizzie's shoulder playfully

Caroline raised an eye brow and directed herself to her daughter "Sweetheart why don't you go grab aunt Ellie's cookbook"

The little girl jumped off the counter and ran towards the bedroom where all of her cooking books were stashed. The blonde girl moved closer to her best friend "I'm so nervous" She said

"You'll do great Caroline, it's not like it's your first date with this guy" Elena placed a hand on her friend's shoulder trying to reassure her "By the way I still don't know his name but I already know you're totally smitten with him darling"

"It's just, I never thought it could work" Caroline dropped herself onto one of the chairs "There's not a lot of men who would agree to date a single mom" The blonde girl placed a hand on the table and rested her chin on there "And I thought that once he found out he was going to run for the hills"

Elena nodded, completely understanding what Caroline was saying, things were starting to change but life was still difficult for women like Caroline who had to raise a child on their own.

"And you know what he said? He said he always wanted a big family and that Lizzie and I could be part of it too" The blonde girl smiled and her eyes shinned with love. Elena felt happy for her friend and hoped that this guy would be the one "I've never felt this way Ellie, not since… and we all know how that ended"

"But this guy isn't Nikklaus" Elena reminded her

"No he's not" Caroline smiled "He couldn't be more different. God I still don't know what I saw in that asshole"

"You were young and impressionable" Elena told her

"Maybe and honestly he was a total cutie too"

Both girls broke down in laughs and Elena felt glad that she and her friend could laugh now about that dark moment in the blonde's past, something she still couldn't do about her past with Damon.

"I can wait for you to meet him"

"I can wait to meet him"

"Oh in fact" Caroline's eyes shinned with mischief "He told me his brother is coming next week and that's he's a total grump so he wanted to get him out and have fun"

"Caroline…" Elena said in a warning tone

"So I told him we could go to your show together and then have some food and drinks" Elena started to talk but her friend interrupted her "I even spoke with Mrs. Flowers and she agreed to babysit Lizzie"

"Yeah so you can go out with your dream boy while I get stuck with grumpy all night" Elena rolled her eyes at her friend "You know how I feel about dating Care"

"I know babe, but it's time you start living your life again" Caroline told her "You need to start dating again"

"I agree" Lizzie said while walking into the room with the book they asked her for "With someone who isn't Liam"

"You really don't like him" Elena said with a half-smile

"He has a funny face" Lizzie said while scrunching her nose up again.

Elena and Caroline laughed again; the blonde girl gave her daughter a hug and a kiss on the cheek before going towards her best friend "Wish me luck" She whispered

"You don't need it" Elena answered back and smacked her jokingly in the arm before directing her towards the door "Go find your prince charming Cinderella" The brunette girl closed the door and turned around to stare at Lizzie "it seems it's only you and me now kid"

They stayed up late baking cookies and other desserts, then they stuffed themselves with food and watched a bit of TV and just before they went to bed Lizzie asked Elena for stories, the little girl always enjoyed to hear what new things the brunette girl could come up with.

Once Lizzie was fast asleep Elena covered her with the comforter and placed a kiss on her forehead as a single tear rolled down her cheeks. Every time she spent time like this with the girl she couldn't help but think of her own daughter and prayed to God that someone was taking care of her and being as loving as she was being with Lizzie.

She prayed every night and asked for God to forgive her.

.

.

She is messy but she's kind, she is lonely most of the time  
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie  
She is gone but she used to be mine


	14. No happy endings

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

 **I might be two days later but who cares, I hope you all had the best time and I wish you all the best for this new year we are beginning, thank you so much for still sticking out with me and supporting me in everything I do, your words definitly make all of this worth it and great, I love you all so much. And as always, thanks to Lorena because she is awsome is the best beta ever.**

 **I really hope you enjoy this chapter because this is about to get good.**

 **Love,**

 **Sam**

* * *

"There are no happy endings.  
Endings are the saddest part,  
So just give me a happy middle  
And a very happy start."

 **-Shel Silverstain-**

 **.**

 **.**

Elena looked herself in the big mirror near the hallway before opening the door and exiting her apartment. She was already running late and she would have to run like crazy to get to work on time. They were having another presentation of the Follies, Elena was so happy with the reception that the play was receiving and she craved the rush that performing on stage brought. There was no doubt that this was her dream job even though sometimes it didn't feel like it was enough.

"Elena don't forget about today!" Caroline's voice stopped her when she was almost at the elevator, the brunette girl turned around and saw her best friend standing on the door of her apartment with little Lizzie next to her

"Break a leg auntie Ellie" Lizzie said with the biggest smile "I said it correctly?" The girl asked and Elena smiled in return

"You did amazing" She said while running towards the girl quickly and placing a kiss on her forehead "What about today?" Elena looked expectantly at her friend

"I knew you were totally going to forget about it" Caroline muttered "Today my boyfriend and I" Caroline's smile grew even wider at the word boyfriend "Are going to see the show with his brother"

"And I have to stay behind with Mrs. Flowers" Lizzie said grumpily

"Don't pout" Caroline stroked the girl's blonde hair "So not sidetracking with Liam; we'll go to dinner after the show"

"Please auntie Elena don't go with that annoying boy"

Elena laughed and ruffled the girl's hair before sending a death glare to Caroline "I'm doing this just for you, blondie, I hope he's not a total creep"

"He's not, I already met him and he's so sweet even though he's a bit of a grump" Caroline rushed to say "But don't worry, all of that will fade in the background when you see his handsome face, it's to die for"

"Oh God" Elena rolled her eyes "I have to go" She said goodbye and rushed once again towards the elevator, now she was completely sure she would be late for work.

Elena hoped things went well with Caroline's boyfriend, she wanted to like the man for her friend's sake, she hoped that this time Caroline had managed to choose one of the good ones, she was willing to suffer through dinner with the grumpy brother if that meant seeing her friend happy. And well at least she had said the brother was handsome, even though for Elena there could never be any man more handsome than the one who stole her heart ten years ago.

"You're officially running late Miss Gilbert" Liam, one of the dancers and the guy Lizzie apparently loathed greeted her when she arrived

"I know, I know. Rough morning" She said, recalling how her alarm didn't go up and how she had to rush from home. Elena placed her bag on the floor and took off her coat; the dancers were still warming up so she guessed she had some time

"Don't sweat it, our lead character is also late so we won't start until she arrives"

"Oh thanks God" Elena said while slumping onto the floor backstage, she was already tired from running to the theater from the metro station, today was definitely not her day.

"Oh and I got something for you" Liam said while going to his bag to retrieve something.

Elena knew that the guy was still harboring some feelings towards her, like he once told her; he would wait until she was ready and then he would make sure she would never regret her decision. But Liam didn't know her story; he didn't understand how she could never love again because her heart was not with her anymore. Liam would never know every time he mentioned something about a relationship between them all Elena could see was a young girl standing outside a dance academy in Mystic Falls waiting for a blue Camaro to show up. When she tried to imagine being with other men all she could see was the broken dream of a house with a big porch in a place full of snow.

No, she couldn't entertain the idea of a romantic future because Elena Gilbert had loved once and she would never do it again.

"Here" He placed a plastic container on top of her lap, forcing her to come out of her head "I got myself breakfast there this morning and thought you might be hungry when you arrived"

Elena opened the container and stared at the piece of apple pie inside "You eat it all the time so I figured you must really like it"

Elena tried not to cry as her eyes lifted towards her friend "Thank you Liam, that's really sweet of you" She said and his smile illuminated the whole room; he did have a great smile Elena thought to herself.

One of the dancers called Liam so he walked away, leaving her alone to contemplate the piece of pie on her lap.

Apple pie, Damon loved apple pie. He loved any kind of pie actually but apple was always his favorite, he even knew how to make it and Elena remembered thinking how his apple pie was tastier than any other she ever tasted.

Liam was right, she did love it and she ate it frequently, but more than anything she did it because it reminded her of him. Because somehow she felt closer to him while eating it, because sometimes when she sat at the little coffee shop around the corner with a piece of pie in front of her she closed her eyes and imagined she was back in Mystic Falls ten years ago and that he was sitting across from her.

"You're a foolish girl" Elena muttered under her breath.

Damon had abandoned her, had chosen to take the money and disappear from her life, and yet she clung to his memory like it was a saving raft. Sometimes at nights she wondered if he had in fact taken the money or if that had been a lie from her mother, she wondered if he was okay and if he still thought of her.

She wondered so many things but none of them ever had an answer because the facts were that Damon didn't show up that day and Elena had to give their baby away.

* * *

Damon grumbled as he buttoned the black dress shirt Stefan was forcing him to wear. This was the first time Damon was visiting his brother since he had moved to New York last year, not because he didn't miss him but because he hated the city. Too much noise and too many people. It was such a large city that it had been impossible to find her even though he had searched for months and months, there were just too many people. He hated New York.

"Could you at least appear to be more excited?" Stefan said while walking into the room.

"Nope" Damon answered "I sure as hell don't want to spend the night with your girlfriend and her friend"

"Come on, Caroline said she was really nice"

"hmm" Damon answered nonchalantly while fixing his hair in the mirror. He didn't care about how nice she was; he was sure she couldn't compare to the brunette beauty that stole his heart so many years ago. "You know I hate Broadway"

Stefan winced at his brother's words, it had happened so long ago that Stefan sometimes forgot how hard it still was on his brother, he had lost so much on that grim day ten years ago and Damon would forever be in pain for it.

"Come on, I'm sure we'll have a good time" Stefan clapped his brother on the back "Besides it's not like it's a date, we're just hanging out" The youngest brother said, he knew how awful Damon's dating record was but Caroline had insisted, saying her friend needed to go out more so he had agreed to invite Damon along.

"Fine, fine" Damon muttered as Stefan walked past him and headed towards the door.

They picked up Stefan's girlfriend Caroline before heading to the theater; she was blonde, beautiful and very chatty, Stefan's eyes lit up every time she spoke and Damon was grateful his brother had found a good girl like her. Stefan told him she had a daughter and Damon couldn't help but think of how hard it must have been for her to raise a child on her own. And then of course he thought of his Elena, wondered where she was right now, what was she doing. Would she be raising their child alone or maybe she had gotten married to some prick to give the child a name?

His mood dampened and no matter how much Caroline and Stefan tried to cheer him up on the way to the theater the black cloud refused to go, he knew he was giving the blonde girl a terrible impression but he didn't care, he wanted to end with this night and pack his bags to get the hell away from New York as fast as he could.

Caroline said that even though her friend tried to get seats in the front she couldn't because it was a sold out night so they sat in the back, Damon honestly didn't care, as long as the show ended soon.

"So which one is she?" Stefan asked in a whisper once the play started

"Oh Ellie is not a lead, she's a backup dancer so we probably won't see her from here but trust me she's amazing!" Caroline chirped excitedly

The show started and Damon was surprised when he got so caught up in the story. He couldn't see much from here but the music was fantastic. Damon watched with rapt attention the fall down of the couples and wondered if that would have happened if he had gotten married, would he be unhappy because he couldn't be with his true love? Or would he have fixed the part of him that broke that day so many years ago?

His favorite performance was Broadway baby and he couldn't help but think of Elena during it, of her dream to be a big star in this place. He wondered if she had managed to reach all of her dreams.

"So?" Caroline asked excitedly once the play was over. They were waiting by the back door for Caroline's friend so they could go and get something to eat, Damon was starving so he hoped the girl would be out soon.

"It was wonderful" Stefan answered before placing a kiss onto the blonde's hair.

"I actually enjoyed it a lot" Damon answered and Caroline smiled brightly at being able to pull out a positive response from him.

Damon heard the backdoor opening and watched as Caroline's smile grew wider and Stefan's face stared in disbelief as the blonde girl raised her arm and waved at someone "Here we are sweetie"

Elena walked out of the theater with Liam walking behind her, she had told him she had plans with Caroline and her boyfriend but he had wanted to make sure she reached the blonde girl safely. The minute she heard her friend's voice and moved her eyes to where she was standing the air got sucked out of her lungs. Stefan Salvatore was standing next to her friend and another man had his back towards her, but she would have known him anywhere in the world.

Damon frowned at his brother's expression and turned around to see what he was seeing. The air got stuck in his throat as his heart started beating a mile a minute.

Elena, his Elena was here in front of him after so long and she looked even more beautiful than he remembered. She had matured; she was no longer that shy little girl who used to blush with every kiss he placed on her lips, her features were sharper and there was a deep sadness in her eyes that had never been there before.

It was him.

Damon Gabriel Salvatore was standing in front of her a few feet away. He looked different, older. His face looked harder than she remembered and if she had to use one word to describe him it would be jaded, but his eyes were still as blue as the ocean and shined when he looked at her.

"Elena" He whispered and she wanted to weep right there because it had been so long, she had almost forgotten the sound of his voice.

"Do you all know each other?" Caroline asked in confusion while watching the stares between Damon and Elena and the frowning face Stefan had.

"I- I don't-"Elena stammered unable to form a sentence

"Are you okay?" Liam asked while touching her elbow and Damon's eyes immediately shot up to where he was touching her, his eyes turning icy.

"Ellie?" Caroline asked again and when the girl's eyes met realization dawned on the blonde girl "Oh my God" She covered her mouth with her hand "Oh my God, I had no idea…you never said his name"

"Doll…" Damon whispered while moving closer and a sob tore out of Elena's throat.

"I need, I need to go" Elena released herself from Liam's grasp and started running towards the main street. Damon stared dumfounded for a second as he watched her go before taking off behind her.

For ten years he had missed her, for months he looked for her. Endless nights of trying to imagine that her life was better than what she would have had with him. This wasn't over.

He waited for way too long.

He was going to be with her no matter what.

* * *

 **AAAAAAND? What do you think?**


	15. If only

" _If only_ …the saddest words in the English language. I would never love anyone the way I loved him. My lawyerly brain accepted that fact. My heart…well, my heart couldn't think at the moment. Once, I'd been adored by the man with the gypsy eyes, and those days had been the happiest and most terrifying of my life"

 **-Kristan Higgins-**

.

.

The streets of New York City bustled with noise and people as she ran as far away as she could from that theater. Her head was spinning and it felt as if her heart would burst out of her chest any minute, the wounds she tried so hard to hide over the years were opening and becoming raw with every second that passed.

Damon.

He was here, after so many years, he had been in front of her and everything had come rushing back to her. All the love, the heartache and the pain that loving him had brought her. For a second there, standing in front of him she turned once again into that seventeen-year-old girl outside of a dance academy whose dreams had crumbled apart.

When her legs couldn't hold themselves up anymore she stopped and pressed herself against a cold building wall, she had no idea for how long she had run or in what direction but at the moment she didn't care. She just pressed her face onto the stone cold wall and let the tears fall down her cheeks, her heart was being ripped out of her chest and she couldn't take it anymore. She was flushing, sweat trickling down her back and a few hairs had fallen out of her bun, she looked like an absolute mess, her appearance mirroring the feelings inside her.

She heard the footsteps approaching behind her but she just didn't have the strength to run anymore, she knew it was him without turning around; something in her was still so attuned to him.

"Elena…" He whispered as he moved closer, Elena could feel him behind her and a pressure grew in her chest at the knowledge that all she needed was to turn around and she would be staring into his blue eyes once again.

After so long he was finally here.

Her back was to him but it was her, it was the woman he had searched for so long. Having her at arm's length once again made him feel both sad and joyous at the same time, there was something of disbelief in there too, because he couldn't believe that after all that time she was finally standing in front of him. He was almost afraid to blink and having it all disappear, he was afraid that this was all a dream.

"Elena…" He pressed a hand to her shoulder and heard her intake of breath as her body shuddered under his hand.

"Damon don't… please don't"

"I just… I just need to talk Elena. Please just…"

She shook her head and he knew she was crying; a few tears were already falling from his eyes as well. "You left" She whispered and his eyes closed in pain "I waited for you" She turned around so fast, forcing him to drop his hand from her shoulder "I stood there for hours until it was evident you weren't going to show up"

"I know, Elena I know but I-"

"But you what? You needed the money more than me?!" She shouted between sobs, her beautiful face was crumbled in pain and it broke his heart to see her like that "I felt like I was dying Damon, I wanted to die"

"No, don't say that Elena" He moved to touch her but she stopped him.

"But it's the truth" She said "I tried, I tried more than once because I didn't care about anything or anyone" She spat and he felt like breaking down at the moment, every word she spoke was ripping his heart out. "I needed you, I needed you and you weren't there"

"You need to let me explain" He pleaded with her.

"I had my wedding dress ready. We were supposed to get married that day and live happily ever after Damon" She cried as she hugged herself, the night air was chilly and even with her coat on, goose bumps had already appeared on her skin.

"I know doll, I know." He hung his head as he tried to suppress the pain he was feeling. He had pictured that scene for many nights in his head. He had pictured a hundred scenarios where things didn't turn out the way they did and they were happy but he had also pictured her broken and alone, wondering why he never showed up.

"And all for what? For money? How could you?" She sobbed and her eyes were so broken and sad, he wanted nothing more than to fix her, to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

"Money? That's what they told you?" He whispered and she gave him a confused look. Damon's hand balled into fists at his side. He never should have underestimated Isobel Gilbert.

"I searched for you Elena" He told her "I searched everywhere"

"No, no you didn't" She said while shaking her head. She refused to believe him, she couldn't. Not after everything.

"Yes, yes I did" He took her face between his hands and forced her eyes to meet his "You know I did" She closed her eyes as he pressed their foreheads together. The warmness of his skin eased the cold inside her and she knew that if she let him hold her for a few more minutes she would melt in his arms.

She believed him, a part deep inside of her believed him. Wasn't that what she always knew was true? Inside her heart she always knew Damon loved her then so why was it so hard to accept it now, to accept everything she believed to be true in the last ten years was a lie.

She cried as he wrapped her in his arms and for the first time in so long she felt utterly and completely safe. Surrounded by his smell, his touch, his warmness; this was the place where she belonged, where she was supposed to be the last ten years.

He wanted to ask so many things, he wanted to know what happened with their baby. How she was here in New York, if she was married. He wanted to know everything about her again but at the moment he couldn't bring himself to do nothing but hold her, hold her and breathe in her scent, storing it for a moment when she wasn't next to him.

As he stroked her hair Elena felt the floor shaking under her, this was the moment she prayed so hard to get while she was locked away in Stella Marie, it was finally here, she was finally once again in the safeness of his arms but it was now a few years too late. She couldn't deal with the overwhelming wave of emotions hitting her all at once. Sadness for the life that could have been, anger for everything that was taken away from them and shame for what she let happen, it was all too much.

She broke apart from his embrace and moved a few steps away "I can't"

"Elena please" The vulnerability on his face broke her but she couldn't be here, it was just too hard. He didn't show up, he didn't show up ten years ago and that had been the end of life for her.

"Damon please, just let me go" She pleaded as she backed away slowly.

Elena needed time to think, she needed time to cry and to grieve. She walked away, leaving him standing there in the cold New York night as he watched her walk away from him.

"I'm going to find you!" He shouted as tears continued to fall from her eyes "I will always find you" She heard him say behind her but she didn't stop.

She kept walking as the moon shinned above her like it had done so many years ago as she waited for him in that parking lot.

* * *

The drapes were open; the light of the busy city filtered through the floor length glass windows, illuminating an expanse of the living room, while the rest of the apartment was submerged into complete darkness.

She lay there on the floor next to the window, on her back with her neck slightly craned so she could stare at the top of the tallest buildings and the moon up in the sky. Her knee length floral dress was crumpled and her hair was sprawled on the floor having found release from the bun that restricted it.

Her eyes were red rimmed and her throat still hurt from all the crying she had been doing over the last few hours. Her hands gripped a newborn's bracelet tightly as she watched the dark sky outside the window. When she first moved in she had chosen to be on one of the highest floors because it gave her a sense of peace, of protection, being locked away in a tower where nothing could ever hurt her again, but now she couldn't think of a lonelier place to be.

She heard the noise of a key on the lock but she didn't care, she wasn't afraid, she knew who was behind that door and frankly at this point just being there on the floor was already too exhausting.

"Elena, are you here sweetheart?" The soft voice of Caroline resonated in the quiet apartment "Elena?" The voice sounded louder as the blonde girl approached the living room

"In here" Elena tried to shout but her voice was hoarse and didn't have the effect she was looking for

"Oh God, sweet heart" Caroline said when she found her.

It was quite a sight, a young woman with a wrinkled dress and tear stained cheeks lying on the floor looking at the window while holding for dear life the bracelet of the baby she was forced to give away so many years ago.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know" Caroline whispered as she removed her shoes and lowered herself onto the floor next to her friend

"There was no way you could have known" Elena said "What were the odds?" There was a small smile on her face that held no joy.

Caroline toke a deep breath and turned to lay on her side, her elbow pressed onto the ground and her head resting on top of her head "Stefan told me… about what happened"

Elena closed her eyes as tears started streaming down her face once again "Please, please Caroline I don't want to hear it" Her words broke down in the middle of the sentence. She didn't think she could take anymore tonight; she already felt so emotionally drained.

"You should give Damon a chance to explain himself" Caroline ignored her as she looked at her with a frown and deep sadness in her eyes "I always told you that he didn't take that money, I don't know how but I just knew it in my heart"

"Please Caroline" Elena pleaded once again as she griped the bracelet even tighter "Not tonight"

"All right" The blonde girl agreed "But only because I think you should hear it from his lips" Caroline dropped herself completely onto the floor once again and placed her head on Elena's neck "You don't have to go through this alone Elena"

"But I was alone" Elena whispered "I was all alone when they took her away"

"Sweet heart-"

"I should have fought harder" She cried "I feel so embarrassed, I was too weak" The blonde girl wrapped her arms around her friend and let her cry

"You did all you could" She consoled her while her own eyes filled up with tears.

"You were able to do it, you could keep her" Elena says

"Our situations were different" Caroline murmured "Don't blame yourself sweet Elena"

"I don't know what I'm doing" Elena admited with defeat "It's like I am alive but I'm not living and seeing him today… it made me feel alive for the first time in so long"

"Then that's your answer" Caroline told her "Just listen to your heart Elena, God knows what's best for you and he'll let you know through here" She placed a hand on Elena's chest "Him and the Virgin are always looking out for you"

"Do you think they're looking out for her too?" Elena asked in a broken voice

"Of course they are Elena" Caroline said softly "I pray for her every night and the Virgin always listen to the ones who pray to her"

Elena managed a small smile as she looked at her friend; Caroline's faith was something that still amazed her till this day "Thank you" She told her friend. They lay there in silence for a few more hours until the light started shifting and the sun rose in the sky.

Elena had no idea what the morning would bring but she was absolutely certain that things had shifted in the night and her world would not be the same again, not if him was in it.


	16. Cold Weather

**Hey there,**

 **So Damon's chapter is finally here, I really hope you're not dissapointed and you like it.**

 **Please let me know what you think of it, and as always thanks so much to all of you reading and to Lorena for correcting this.**

 **Love,**

 **Sam**

* * *

" _Our love had been a bright spark in the middle of a dark night. Vibrant and wild. But something that something that consumed all its power in a giant burst couldn't stay burning forever"_

 _ **.**_

 _ **S.D Hendrickson**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 **Damon**

 **1959**

 **.**

Damon had planned to pick up Elena at six O'clock in the parking lot of her dance school, Stefan had also agreed to his plan the minute he told him about it. The brothers only had each other and they would follow the other until the ends of the Earth.

Damon and Stefan loaded the old Camaro with their belongings and then headed to pick up Damon's checks at the construction site and the diner. Since he had asked to be paid a bit earlier than usual his boss at the diner joked with him, asking him if he had a special night to get ready for. Damon only smiled and his eyes filled with happiness at the prospect of Elena finally being his wife "Something like that" was his only response.

Stefan and him would go to the bank and change the checks and then they would finally go pick up Elena. When they crossed the town square in direction towards the bank the tower clock marked five fifteen.

Damon was walking on sunshine; he was going to marry the girl he loved. Everything was going to be all right in the world again, he was going to have a family with her and he was going to spend the rest of his life making her happy. The baby thing had thrown him out of the loop at the beginning, they hadn't planned for it and he knew adding a baby to the mix would only make things harder but he truly believed that they could make it work, he was happy about it in fact. He was going to be a wonderful father and husband; he would give Elena everything she asked for.

It was probably the only time in his life that Damon was driving distractedly, he couldn't get the image of his Elena dressed in her wedding gown and of her stomach getting swollen with his child out of his head. If he hadn't been daydreaming about his future life with her he probably would have noticed the brown Dodge following him, two men wearing civil clothes were in it but all he could see were images of Elena.

The men following them made them stop and pulled the brothers out of the car and pressed them onto the hood with their legs spread out and hands behind their backs which were quickly held by handcuffs.

They were cops and they had come to arrest him.

"Please, just drive to the dance school so I can explain to my girlfriend what's going on. Just five minutes" Damon pleaded from the back of the car to the two men in the front.

The shortest one of the two mocked him, "Sorry buddy but we don't have five minutes and the only place you're going to is L.A, that will show you to not break probation and your brother here is going with you"

"He has nothing to do with this" Damon intervened when he saw the frightened expression on Stefan's face

"Maybe but we should hold him just in case"

"Please just let me-"

"Getting involved with a minor son?" The oldest of the police men spoke "You're lucky the people who turned you in didn't want to hand over evidence, otherwise you would be facing many different charges"

Something turned sour in his stomach and in that moment and Damon knew exactly who had turned him in and why he was being taken away from Virginia. He prayed like he had never prayed before and asked for Elena to wait for him, for a way to get him to talk to her and explain everything.

They sat for three hours in the Virginia airport, waiting for the flight that would take them to California. The entire time Damon asked them to release his brother and to allow him to make a call. All that time they told him they would release Stefan once they were in California and at the end cracked and allowed him to make that one call.

The phone ran three times before she answered "Please, Mrs. Gilbert, just let me talk with her" The woman hung the phone up without saying a word and that was all the confirmation Damon needed.

They must have figured out their plan somehow, otherwise how else would they have known when to catch him. Because someone had paid the police to do it and it was the same reason they weren't releasing his brother even though he had nothing to do with the reason that he was being held. They were going to take his girl away and he could do nothing about it.

They held them for ten days. After they released Stefan Damon was taken to court to determine what would be his sentence for breaking the parole. Stefan didn't want to leave Damon but his brother had convinced him and he went back to Virginia only to find that Elena was nowhere in sight and that no one had any idea of where she was. Damon was heartbroken.

The board decided not to give him more time in prison and instead chose to have him do community service every day for a year in California. He had violated his probation; it didn't matter that he never committed a single criminal act since he got out of prison or that he had followed every single rule. He had gone back to Mystic Falls and fallen in love with a beautiful young girl and that love had created a baby, so now he was a criminal again because the sentence for loving the woman of his life was of a year.

Of course it didn't help that he was no one, white trash some people used to call him but Elena parent's knew that and they were also loaded which helped them a lot in their case against him. It was the first time Damon truly realized what having power meant.

Damon worked inhumane hours in every job he could get and wrote thousands and thousands of letters to Elena, all of them coming back to him unanswered. He called and called but after a while they even changed the number.

After a few months with still no sign of Elena, Stefan moved to California to be with his brother. Now that he had finished high school he searched for jobs to help both of them keep afloat and busted his ass just like his brother.

Damon worked and worked with only one goal in mind, after the year was over he would go to Mystic Falls and find Elena and his baby, he didn't care where she was, he was going to find her.

Once his sentence was over he went back to Mystic Falls. He would have to check with his parole officer once a month for the duration of eight months so that gave him an exact month to go to Virginia, find Elena, and go back to California.

The Gilberts still lived in the same house. He waited in the driver's seat of his Camaro until Elena's father went to work and when he saw her mother come out- putting on her white gloves with that presumptuous air around her- he got out of the car and approached her.

"Where is she Mrs. Gilbert?" He said in a hard tone once he was in front of the woman. Her face turned white and she started looking to the side hoping to see someone who would help her out.

"Get out of my way" She spat as she adjusted her bag on her shoulder

"Where is she? Is she okay? Did she have the baby?" His voice was pleading as he moved closer to the woman, who took a step back and looked at him with hard eyes

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"It's my baby too Mrs. Gilbert, I have a right to know" He told her

She looked around once more hoping no one was close to hear what he was saying "Get out of my property if you don't want me to call the police"

"But you already did that, didn't you?" He regarded her harshly "You did that a year ago. What did you tell her?"

"I mean it, get out"

"You know I'm not a criminal Mrs. Gilbert" Damon told her

"Yeah? It's that why you were on probation" She asked mockingly, her lips twitching in disgust

"I made a mistake, I might have been a thief back then but you know I would never hurt Elena"

"You already did" She glared at him "You ruined her life when you got her pregnant" She hissed in a low voice "I only had to do what was necessary to stop her from making the biggest mistake of her life"

"You told her that I left her? That I ran away and left her alone to deal with all of this, that's what she thinks right?" A vein was popping on Damon's jaw and if there was a moment in his life where he looked like a criminal it was that one. "Tell me where she is!" He yelled

"I will never tell you where she is" She spat at him "You'll have to kill me first"

He gave her a disgusted glance and walked away, deciding he would never get a word out of that woman's mouth. He tried with Jeremy Gilbert next but he was informed that he had gone away for college and his parents refused to give him a way to contact him.

He was running out of options so he decided to go to Bonnie Bennet's house, she had been one of Elena's best friends in High School, and maybe she could have an idea of where she was.

"I'm sorry Damon, I don't know" The girl told him with an apologetic look "We lost touch a long time ago because I was a horrible friend" She said softly with regret in her eyes

"You haven't seen her since?"

"She was away for a long time, visiting some family in Denver I believe and then returned here for a few months and went away again, but I have no idea where she could be"

Damon nodded and the fear in his stomach grew, Bonnie hadn't mentioned anything about the baby so that could only mean Elena hadn't kept it, had they forced her to abort it? The sole notion made nausea arise in his body.

"Thank you" was the only thing he could say

"If you find her… tell her I'm sorry"

He left the girl's house feeling sorry for himself and with sadness so great that threatened to rip open his body. He was truly running out of ideas and the despair was growing on him.

His last resort turned out to be the old woman who ran the dance studio where Elena used to dance.

"Do you know where she is?" He asked

"Why do you want to know?" The old lady regarded him harshly as her wrinkled fingers toyed with a necklace around her neck.

"Because I love her, I need to find her" He pleaded

"Leave her alone; she's trying to reach her dreams" The old woman told him before turning around and leaving the room but he didn't leave immediately, he looked around until he spotted a few post cards the woman had stuck onto one of the mirrors. They were all from New York and had "Greetings, Elena" written on the back.

Damon caressed the handmade letters as a tear slipped down his eyes, that was his first lead; he knew where she was, now he only had to find her. He took the post cards and placed them inside his leather jacket, next to his heart.

He hated New York since the minute he first set foot there. It was too big, noisy and filled with too many people. Trying to find a girl from Virginia was going to be almost impossible but Damon was not a quitter, and there was nothing more that he wanted in the world than to find Elena and their child, so he stayed even though he hated the city.

He searched in every nook and crane of New York City, he went to a million shows on Broadway and worked every single job he could find so could afford his trips. Every month he had to make the journey back to California to check on his probation office but he didn't care, he couldn't stop searching for her.

For an entire year he followed that same routine, he asked about her everywhere: dance academies, clothing stores, schools, restaurants, and theaters. He searched for her nonstop for hundreds of days but never got a single clue of where she could be.

"Maybe you should let this go" Stefan told him over breakfast one cold December morning

"How can you say that Stefan?" He asked his brother in an angry tone

"Look at yourself Damon, you're stuck. I know you love her, you know I cared deeply for her too but you just can't continue living like this"

"But I need to find her" He said in a broken voice

"Maybe she doesn't want you to find her" Stefan couldn't meet his eyes so instead he played around with his food. "Let her go Damon"

A deep weight pressed in his chest at his brother's words, maybe he was right and it was time to let it all go. He left New York a week after that. He packed his bags and he and Stefan drove all the way to North Carolina. He contemplated getting rid of the Camaro because of all the memories it brought him but he couldn't do it, so instead he stored it out and never used it again.

Damon got a job in construction and went back to school, he wanted to do something for himself, and even if he never saw her again he wanted to be a man she could feel proud of someday. His life started turning a bit brighter after a few years but he became the opposite, a bitter man who never smiled enough and who always felt cold inside.

She was his light and that light had been taken away when everything fell apart that one afternoon.

* * *

 **Aaaaand?**


	17. My one and only

**Helloooo!**

 **I was glad to see the response you had from the last chapter, I'm so glad you like it and that you are enjoying the story. Thanks to all for reading my story and taking the time to review and as always of course thanks to Lorena for being my beta on this.**

 **I wish you all a great week.**

 **Love,**

 **Sam**

* * *

"He was still so familiar after all these years, his mouth perfect on mine, hungry and gentle at the same time, and I'd missed him, missed this, could not believe that somehow we'd let this get away, this desperate, wonderful feeling that being with Nick was –forgive the melodrama- my destiny. The only man I'd ever really and truly loved. My firsts love, my one and only. I knew it now, and the truth was, I'd known it always"

 **-Kristan Higgings-**

 **.**

 **.**

Elena craned her neck as she undid the bun holding her hair together; she passed her fingers through her long locks before sitting down and putting her feet into her black Mary Jane's, she fastened the straps and sighed heavily before slumping back and resting her head on the wall.

Today's rehearsal had been brutal and it had a lot to do with the fact that her mind was not in the dance but miles away in a small town in Virginia ten years ago. It had been two days since she saw Damon and he had made no other appearance, she was both glad and disappointed that he had yet to show up and she definitely didn't want to dwell on the fact that she was craving to see him once again.

Having Damon Salvatore in front of her after so many years had woken up something inside her that had been asleep for a long time, it made her feel alive once again but it also brought back so much of the pain she had tried so hard to hide. It had left her head in a bloody mess and she had no idea how to regain her control.

"Elena are you okay?" Liam's voice brought her back from her head, she raised her face and watched him as he regarded her with worried eyes

"Yes, I'm fine" She answered with a small smile

"You don't seem okay" He took a seat on the bench next to her, Elena was grateful for Liam, he was a kind friend but right now she really didn't feel like talking about this with someone who didn't know about her past. "You were distracted the entire rehearsal; does it have something to do with the guy from the other night"

Elena winced mentally, she had hoped he wouldn't bring the subject up but then again she didn't have luck on her side "Liam I really don't want to talk about it"

"He was important to you, right?" He whispered and Elena noticed the small hint of resignation and dejection in his words

"He was"

 _He is_ Elena said mentally, because the truth was that no matter how long it had happened Damon was still the great love of her life, she knew it deep in her bones and that was why it hurt so much to have him here once again. Because she loved him deeply in spite of what he did to her.

"I'm sorry" Liam said and Elena looked at him with a confused look "For whatever it was that happened" He said with a smile that offered her understanding "If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here"

"Thank you so much Liam" Elena placed her hand on top of his and smiled warmly at him.

They said their goodbyes as Elena finished putting her things in her bag, once she was done she put on her long trench coat and slugged the bag over her shoulder. The warm afternoon air hit her when she opened the door of the theater and she inhaled deeply while closing her eyes. When her eyes finally opened she met a sight she hadn't been expecting.

Damon Salvatore was leaning against the wall of the theater across the street and it was like she was transported into 1959 when she used to walk out of her dance school to find him waiting for her outside of his car, except now he was wearing plaid gray pants instead of jeans and he had on a button down dark blue shirt instead of his letter jacket, and his hair was styled in a more polished way. He was no longer the boy she met back then but at the same time he still was, she could see it in his eyes.

His smile turned up into his classic smirk and her heart threatened to burst out of her chest because of the familiarity of the action. Elena wanted to run, she meant to move but for some reason her body was not responding to her brain's commands because she stood there, rooted on the pavement as he moved from across the street and walked towards her, the limp was still present on his every step and she almost wept at the familiar sight.

"Hello doll" He whispered once he was in front of her, she breathed in his scent and closed her eyes in pain and wonder, because even though he was dressed differently he still smelled the same way he had ten years ago, he was still her Damon "Can we talk?" He asked softly

Her eyes snapped back open and everything came crashing down once again, all the pain and heartache, all the nights she cried herself to sleep. But above all, the day she gave up her baby. This wasn't 1959 anymore, a long time had passed since then and she was not the same dreamy girl she once was.

"No, I'm sorry Damon but you must leave me alone" She told him before turning around and starting to walk in the direction of the subway. She heard him curse and started following her.

"Elena please, I just need you to hear me out"

"There is nothing to say anymore Damon"

"Of course there is damn it" He snapped and she stopped walking "There is plenty to talk about Elena" He moved until he was in front of her "I just need you to hear me out, please"

"Damon please, the last thing I want to do right now is talk to you"

He flinched visibly at her words but didn't back down, he had waited ten years for this opportunity and he wasn't going to waste it "Ten years Elena, after ten years don't you think the least both of us deserve is a chance to explain things"

"Damon I don't think this is a good idea"

"Just hear me out, if after you hear what I have to say you still don't want to see me I'll go and never come back"

Elena bit her lip as his words affected her more than they should because the prospect of never seeing him again was too hard to bear "Damon…"

"Please"

She sighed as she moved her fingers over her temple "Fine" She said with defeat in her voice. The last thing she wanted was to sit down and hear whatever he had to say because she was afraid that what he said could change everything. That it could absolve him from the past and even when a part of her wanted nothing more than to hear him say he loved her and everything had been a misunderstanding there was another part of her that wanted to hate him and blame him for what happened. Because if she couldn't blame him then the only person left to blame would be her and she had done too much of that already.

"We can go to the coffee shop that's right around the corner" He murmured

Elena nodded and they started walking towards it. He didn't know it but that was the place where she had sat down to eat apple pie and imagine she was with him back in 1959. Now she would have a fresh memory of him in that place, one to remind her of him when he was gone.

They walked in silence while Damon continued to steal glances every now and then, he was trying to memorize every single thing about her. He was storing everything so that later he could think about her and take notice of what changes she had suffered over the years. He realized that she was no longer the Elena Gilbert he had met all those years ago and now he wanted to know this new Elena, because there was no doubt that he was going to love her all the same.

They entered the quiet place which was relatively empty at this hour of the afternoon and sat in a little booth in the back, facing each other. They both ordered a cup of coffee and Damon ordered a slice of apple pie for himself, Elena smiled slightly as her eyes watered.

"Are you okay?" He asked sounding concerned

"Still your favorite" She murmured

Understanding appeared on his face and he smiled sadly at her "Always" She looked down and he sighed loudly "How are you?"

"What do you mean?" She asked confused "I'm fine, as you can see"

"Got your dream job, right?"

"Yes, it's everything I always dreamed of"

"Well, if I recall you wanted to be a star" He smirked

"Yeah and I also wanted a house with a big porch" She spat bitterly and regretted her words immediately when she saw the hurt expression on his face, she resented Damon a lot but even then the last thing she wanted in the world was to hurt him "I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"It's okay, I deserve it" He answered sadly "But I take it you're not really okay?"

"Not in the slightest" She responded in defeat.

The waitress interrupted them when she arrived with their order, placing the coffees in front of each of them and the plate with the slice of pie on the center of the table. Damon ordered another fork and Elena felt her heart squeezing at the familiarity of it all.

"I know it's also one of your favorites" He handed her the fork the waitress had placed on the table "Even though your absolute favorite is cherry"

She nodded before taking the fork, she cut into a piece of the pie and brought it to her mouth, it tasted like love and good times and the fist around her heart gripped her more tightly.

"So…" Damon whispered while looking at her. His heart squeezed with sadness while he watched her guarded expression, there was something so jaded about her now. Elena had always been a breath of fresh air for him, the sunshine in the darkness that was his life and he hated himself for dragging her into that dark place and leaving her there.

"So?" She raised an eye brow "You wanted to talk, so talk"

Damon nodded solemnly before taking a sip of his coffee "I had every intention of picking you up that day Elena" His blue eyes looked at her with sadness and she closed hers in pain, she didn't want to see whatever she could find in those blue pools "I packed and picked up the money and I was heading towards you when it happened" Damon sighed "Can you please open your eyes and look at me?"

Elena wanted to shake her head like a petulant child but decided against it, she slowly peered her eyes open and found him staring at her deeply "Officers had been following us, I didn't realize because I was daydreaming about us, about our wedding and our life together"

Elena choked up a sob as she raised her hands to her chest and pressed them there "They knew about us and even though there was no evidence the complaint had been made and I was on parole for the theft I did when I was younger"

"Oh my God"

"They took me and Stefan to California, they wouldn't let me call you or even release Stefan so he could talk with you. When I did call your mother didn't let me speak with you and when my brother was released he went to find you… but you were nowhere to be found"

Elena felt her throat clogging, something was pressing down on her and she felt like it was impossible for her to breathe "They said they offered you money" She whispered as her hands tried to raise her coffee cup but failed because they were shaking so much.

"Do you honestly think I would have taken money?" When she didn't answer he stretched his hand and placed his fingers under her chin "Look at me doll, you know how much I love you, you know that I wanted a life with you, how could I possibly take money if it meant leaving you?"

Elena closed her eyes as tears gathered, he moved his hand and she tilted her head so he was cupping her cheek, his hands rough and calloused. Damon had the hands of a hardworking man and she always loved that about him. It was such a comfort to have those same hands caressing her right now. "I didn't know what to believe"

"It's all true baby. You can ask Stefan, hell you can even talk to the guy who was my parole officer back then" He traced her lips with his thumb "You were my life Elena and they ripped you away from me" Her eyes opened, surprised at the hatred in his words "I searched for you, everywhere. When I found out you were here I came and I searched for you in every corner of New York but you were nowhere to be found"

Her brown doe eyes looked at him and he wanted to weep at the sadness and pain hidden in there "I had this fantasy… where you showed up in your blue Camaro and stole me away from the Godforsaken life I was living. I waited but you never showed up" She whispered sadly

He closed his eyes in pain and dropped his hand from her face "I wish I could take back the time Elena; I would have been more careful. I would have done things differently"

Elena looked at him and a wave of sadness washed over her at seeing the bags under his eyes, the stubble in his jaw, the wisps of grey hair at his temples and the scattered wrinkles that showed that time had gone by. He had matured, he was no longer a boy and she hated that all those changes happened when she wasn't there, she resented that time between them and she resented her parents for doing this to them.

But what could she do now? Go back to Mystic Falls and put a bullet through her mother's skull? There you go you evil witch, you ruined my life. No, that would do no good to anyone.

"Doll?" He spoke softly, as if fearing she would bolt off the table at any minute "I need to know" She braced herself for the question, she had seen it in his eyes since the night they met again, he wanted to know "Elena, what happened to our baby?" She knew it was coming but the minute the words were out of his mouth she felt the air being sucked out of her body, she looked down, unable to meet his eyes and started folding the napkin on the table over and over again. "Elena?"

"They took me away" She said softly "To a…what is that they call them?" She closed her eyes as a sardonic laugh left her lips "House for unwed mothers, that's what people call it" She opened her eyes and found him staring at her with the saddest eyes she had ever seen "I was there for my pregnancy, that's where I met Caroline" The barest hint of a smile appeared on her lips "And that's where I- " Her breathing got shallow as she tried to spit the words out, her throat was clogging once more and she felt a surge of panic so big she thought she was dying "That's where I-" Her eyes filled with tears and she saw through blurry eyes as he walked out of his seat and moved to her side of the booth "That's where I gave her up" A sob broke out of her throat and his arms were around her in a heartbeat, she relished in the safeness she felt at being surrounded by him. To feel him next to her as he should have been so many years ago.

"I'm so sorry" He whispered in a loving voice as he held her, rocking her back and forth as he stroked her hair, people around them were giving him worried curious looks but he didn't focus on them, he only cared about the girl in his arms.

"I let them take her away" She wailed against his chest. Elena had cried over the loss of her child for so many nights but this was the first time that doing it seemed liberating. "She was so beautiful and perfect Damon and I- I was a coward" She was heaving and Damon was doing everything in his power to calm her down, comfort her but how could he do that right when he wanted to break down and sob right alongside her.

"It's okay doll"

"No it's not okay, I should have been strong" He gripped her even more tightly as she fisted his shirt in her hands "I should have fought harder"

Damon had no idea what to say to her, his own heart breaking with the knowledge that he had a daughter, a daughter who was somewhere out there and not with them right now. He was mad as a dog thinking about the people who did this to them, the people who kept him apart from the love of his life and his child. There were so many emotions swirling inside him now that he had no idea what to process, and he had no idea how to make her feel better. He didn't even want to think about all of the bad times she must have suffered through in that place only to have their daughter ripped away from her arms. He hated them, he hated them all.

"I hate myself" She said "I hate myself everyday"

"No, no don't say that" He took her chin between his fingers and lifted her face, her tear stained eyes staring at him with so much pain in them "You did what you could, you were alone and everyone was against you. You did what you thought was best"

"She has your eyes" She said in a broken whisper and her words were like a shot to his heart "She looked so much like you, she was so precious"

"She is so precious" He whispered hoarsely, he didn't want her to talk about their daughter in the past tense. In that moment Damon made the promise that he was going to find their daughter come hell or high water, he was going to bring back the life into Elena's eyes and was not going to let anything rip them apart again, not even her.

"Do you hate me?" She asked in a small voice

"Do **you** hate me?" He answered back

She took a deep breath, aftershocks of her sobbing still racking her body but he was holding her and caressing her hair with his hands and that helped her keep herself in control "I did, sometimes. I wanted to… the nights I spent in that place… I was so scared" He pressed her more tightly against his body "I hated you then"

His heart squeezed at her words but he understood "And what about now?"

"I don't know how I feel now" She answered honestly. The last few days had been such a rollercoaster of emotions and she didn't have the slightest idea of what to do with everything she was feeling.

"I'm not going anywhere Elena"

"Damon-"

"No" He cut her off and when she broke apart from his arms he let her "You might not want me here but I won't go. I love you, you're the only girl I've ever loved" She closed her eyes at his words, a part of her heart relished in them but the other was terrified of what they meant "And I won't give up without fighting, not this time"

"I don't know if that's a good-"

"So darling you can fight me all you want, you can hate me and curse at me and tell me to go but I won't do it" He moved closer and cupped her face with his hands "Because I know you still love me, I can see it in your eyes. So I'm going to find a way to make you happy again even if it's the last thing I do on this earth"

She looked at him speechless, her mind was in a war with her heart and she had no idea who was winning, the only thing she knew was that Damon Salvatore was back in her life once again and he had brought so much pain and joy with him.

There were no more words between them, Damon paid the bill and even though she told him it wasn't necessary he went with her all the way to her home. They were in complete silence the entire time but she had never felt more comfortable in her life. In those moments, with him walking beside her she could almost fool herself into thinking nothing had changed, that they were still those same kids who loved each other deeply, she could almost believe it.

He walked her to the door of her apartment and promised to be there the next day and the next because there was no way she was going to get rid of him now.

Once Elena entered her apartment she broke down into tears right there in the foyer, the weird thing was that for the first time she had no idea if her tears were from joy or pain, or maybe even both.

Damon Salvatore was back and he had made her breathe again.


	18. Dream a little dream of me

Well folks, today is a great day, Nina has confirmed her return for the end and I am ecstatic and overjoyed with the news. I am so happy that I never gave up on my OTP and that there's a huge chance that we might get the happy ending we're all looking for. And because I am so excited and I want everyone to be happy and on full Delena mood today, I bring you an early update.

I hope you enjoy the new chapter and that you are as happy as me today.

Love you all.

Sam

* * *

"I think part of me had wanted him to walk in here and save the day. But sometimes, when the dust is wiped from the looking glass, the only thing revealed is a reflection full of cracks"

.

 **S.D. Hendrickson**

.

Elena Gilbert took one last look at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked her best self and then headed towards the door. She hated herself for that one last look in the mirror because it meant that she cared too much for what was waiting downstairs for her. She tightened the sash of her coat and exited the door of the building and there he was like every single morning for the past week, Damon Salvatore was leaning against the stone brick building waiting for her.

He walked her to work every single day and was waiting for her once the show was over, she tried to make him go away the first few days but realized soon enough that there was no way to discourage Damon when he had set his mind on something. Elena wasn't even speaking with him nor had she been during the last few days but that didn't seem to matter because he still waited for her even though it meant walking next to her in complete silence.

Elena was sure a lot of people would think that this situation was very strange, even Liam even had suggested that she call the police when he saw Damon waiting for her. But even though she would never say it out loud, Elena loved having him near her.

"Good morning Damon" She greeted him

"Morning doll" He said with a half smirk. It was the first time in three days she greeted him so that was already progress for him.

"How long are you going to keep this up for Damon?" Elena asked as they walked towards the subway station.

"As long as I need to darling" He told her

"Don't you have a job to get back to?" She asked, dying to know the answer. She had already raided Caroline with questions about Damon but the blonde had denied answering any of them, she kept telling her that if she wanted to know she should ask the questions herself.

"Yes I do" He said simply

"And they are expecting you?"

"Yes"

"So you'll be back soon?"

"Maybe" He shrugged and threw her a mischievous glance

"So you plan to convince me before that?" She arched an eyebrow in his direction

"Maybe"

"You're so full of yourself" Elena rolled her eyes but a small smile was tugging at the corners of her lips. "So what do you do Damon?"

"I own a restaurant" He shrugged

Elena looked at him with a raised eye brow and her mouth slightly open "You own a restaurant?"

"Yes, a sea food kind of restaurant. It's a small place but we're doing pretty well" He smiled slightly in a boyish way Elena hadn't seen since he got back.

"For how long have you been in the business?" Elena asked with genuine curiosity. Of all the jobs she had pictured Damon having a restaurant was probably the last one, even though he did always love to cook.

"For about two years" As they walked down the stairs of the subway Damon placed a hand on her lower back and Elena swore the heat of his body was burning through her coat.

"And before that, what did you do?" Now that she had started Elena wasn't able to stop with the questions, she wanted more and more pieces to put the puzzle that was Damon together.

"I went back to school" Damon told her with the proudest smile. Right now, here with her he was so far away from the dark gloomy guy he had turned over the years.

"You did?" Elena asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I- I wanted to make you proud" He whispered with an edge of vulnerability in his words "I kept thinking that if I saw you again someday I would hate to be the guy who did nothing with his life… so I went back to school"

"Oh Damon" Elena murmured while an ache started spreading in her heart. His words were cutting her deeper and deeper; every time he spoke she realized how far the truth was from what she had believed all of those years. And she got angry all over again when she realized everything that she missed in his life because of those lies that broke them apart so many years ago.

"Afterwards I worked with some architects all over the world. I made really good money there but with time I stopped enjoying it so Stefan and I decided to open the restaurant" They went inside the surprisingly vacant train and took a seat near the door. "When he moved here I became the sole owner"

"Oh Lord" Elena crossed her arms in front of her body to stop the cold and shivers going up her body. This man next to her was so far away from the boy she met once upon a time and yet she still felt as safe and confident with him as she did back in the days "I'm proud of you Damon"

The look he gave her melted her in her seat, his cheeks turned slightly pink and his mouth curved into a happy smile, it was as if he had waited his entire life to hear her say those words "Thank you darling" He placed a strand of her hair behind her ear and she leaned her head into his hand. Elena was finding that it was way too easy to fall back into lost habits; it had always been so easy to get lost in that man.

"And who is taking care of the restaurant right now?" She asked once she was able to pull back from the spell he had casted on her.

"Lisa is"

She hated the jealous feeling that started crawling up her body at the mention of another woman's name. Elena knew that she and Damon were not together so therefore she had no claim over him or what he did with his life "And who is Lisa?" The brunette asked in spite of herself

"A very friendly elder woman who lives next to us" He smiled knowingly at her. It had always been so easy for him to read her "She and her husband are good friends with Stefan and I so they agreed to take care of the place while I was away"

"Oh"

"You're my only girl Elena" He whispered as he bumped his shoulder with hers playfully. Even though she tried to stop it she couldn't help the smile that crept into her face at his words.

Elena was enjoying having Damon with her and the idea that he could be returning to North Carolina soon filled her with dread, she chastised herself all the time for feeling like this because with little to no effort Damon was managing to weasel his way back into her heart and Elena couldn't let that happen. She was too fragile, she wouldn't survive it again.

She turned gloomy the rest of the way and they walked in silence despite Damon's futile attempt to strike conversation again; the magic was gone and she was hiding in a corner once again.

He dropped her off at the theater as he always did and promised to be there when she finished, not that she answered or anything. Elena walked into the place sulking and in a terrible mood.

"I can't believe he's still following you around" Liam said the minute she entered the stage; Elena went to drop her things on the nearest chair and sat on the floor to put on her dancing shoes.

"It doesn't matter Liam" She said in a way that gave no foot to conversation, she was feeling very down and the last thing she wanted was Liam raiding her with questions she couldn't answer.

"You should probably call the police like I told you to"

"Liam-"

"I know that you have some kind of story but it's not normal for him to follow you around"

"Liam please stop!" Elena nearly shouted and he looked at her with surprise at her outburst "I'm sorry" She said while shaking her head and standing up "Just please let it go" She squeezed his shoulder and moved towards the other dancers to start stretching.

Elena spent the entire night in a blur; she couldn't get Damon out of her head. She danced flawlessly like she always did but definitely wasn't putting her heart into it. This was their last week presenting the show and luckily after that she would have some time to herself, she had been working nonstop for the last two years and even though she loved her job she felt like she needed a vacation. Otherwise she was going to lose her mind.

When she walked out of the theater that night she was shocked and more than a little hurt at not finding Damon there, she realized that maybe he had caught her hints and finally decided to stop bothering her, that thought caused her to be deeply sad and then she got angry because she had given Damon the power to hurt her again.

Elena arrived to her building and headed straight to Caroline's apartment, the blonde girl had a date with Stefan so Elena had agreed to babysit Lizzie. Spending time with her niece was exactly what Elena needed at the moment.

"Hey sweetheart" Caroline enveloped her in an embrace the minute the door was opened, Elena smiled against her friend's hair, Caroline always seemed to know when she needed a hug or comforting words. "Thank you so much for taking care of Lizzie tonight"

"Don't worry Care; we'll have a good time, right Liz?" Elena asked as she stepped inside and looked at the little girl sitting on the living room couch. Elena's gaze registered the other person in the room and her heart somersaulted when she realized it was Stefan.

"Hey" The younger Salvatore said with a timid smile and a small wave

"Hey Stefan" Elena whispered

He stood up from the couch where he had been sitting with Lizzie and started walking slowly towards her "Would it be wrong if I gave you a hug?"

Elena stared at him and the hopeful look in his eyes broke her heart, she couldn't find the strength to mutter a single word so she only nodded and instantly she was surrounded by Stefan Salvatore's arms. She closed her eyes as another wave of painful nostalgia washed over her; she had been feeling those a lot lately.

This was the guy who was once one of her best friends, the scrawny and shy kid who no one wanted to talk with at school but he wasn't none of those things anymore. He was a successful teacher who lived in a great city now, a long way from the guy she used to know. Just like Damon he was a completely different person but yet so strangely familiar to her.

"You look nice" She said with a small smile once they parted

"Thanks, I guess I did change a bit" He said shyly while gesturing at himself, out of the corner of her eye Elena could see Caroline staring at them with a hopeful look on her face

"Yeah" Elena whispered with a bit of sadness laced in her words "Oh God but don't let me keep you here, you guys should go" She gestured to her best friend "Lizzie and I will be okay on our own"

"Auntie Ellie and I will bake cookies" Lizzie came over and circled her arms around Elena's waist; she gripped the little girl tightly and ruffled her hair slightly. Lizzie just like her mom seemed to know just when Elena needed a bit of comfort.

"Yeah, yeah" Caroline said with a bright smile and took Stefan's hand "Let's go darling" Stefan's eyes moved to the blonde woman next to him and the adoration in his eyes while looking at her almost made Elena sigh. There was no doubt Caroline had found one of the good ones this time.

Right before they walked out of the door Stefan stopped and turned to Elena "He got a call from work, had to check in on something, that's why he wasn't there today but he's still in town"

"I-uh"

"He's not giving up" Stefan said with a smirk that made him look so similar to his brother before disappearing behind the door. Elena stood there, thinking of his words and what they meant, thinking of how much relief had filled her when she found out that he wasn't gone, she stood there not moving until Lizzie's voice brought her back to reality.

They set the things in the kitchen so they could start with their cookies, Elena loved baking, it was something that calmed her down and gave her time to think and she loved doing it with Lizzie. Caroline was completely awful in the kitchen so the little girl had learned a few things from Elena who in her free time was always in the kitchen making something.

"Are you going to marry Stefan's brother, auntie Ellie?" Lizzie asked so casually while Elena almost dropped the eggs she was holding at her comment

"What? Why are you asking this?" She looked at the girl with curiosity while cracking the eggs in the bowl resting on the counter

"Because I hear them talking and he's in love with you"

"You heard who talking?"

"Mommy, Stefan and him"

Elena took a wooden spoon and started whipping the batter in the bowl while her mind started going a mile a minute "When was Damon here?"

"The other day" Lizzie shrugged "I think you should marry him auntie Ellie"

Elena almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity and innocence of her niece's comment "And why is that Liz?"

"Because he looks like a prince" The girl told her in a tone that suggested she should be crazy not to realize this before "And he's super funny"

Elena arched a brow as she focused on the batter in front of her, the Damon she used to know had been a sweet, funny, caring guy but ever since she returned she had seen less of that guy. Of course he was still somewhere in there but now he seemed more dark and even sad, she guessed that after everything they went through it was understandable, but she was glad that his soft and funny side still resurfaced once in a while.

"And I think he's funny enough to make you stop being sad auntie Ellie"

Elena stopped what she was doing and turned around to the little girl, her words being like a bucket of ice cold water on her "Why do you say that Lizzie?"

"Well sometimes when you think no one is looking…" Lizzie climbed onto the counter and looked at the floor "You get this look in your eyes, like your heart is breaking"

Elena was at a loss of words as she stared at the worried eyes of her niece; how was it that a ten-year-old girl could see so clearly what was so easy to hide from the rest of the world?

"You should give him a chance"

"You think?" Elena asked softly

Lizzie smiled a big toothy grin "Of course silly" She put her hand on Elena's cheek "He's a prince" She told her in a hushed tone

Elena threw her head back and laughed "And how do you know how a Prince looks like?"

"Come on auntie Ellie, everyone knows how a prince should be like" The girl rolled her eyes in a gesture that made her resemble her mother "And he's way better than Liam"

"Dear Lord what did Liam ever do to you?" Elena joked as she dug the spoon into the batter once again.

Lizzie shrugged "He has a funny face" Elena smiled as she placed the spoon in Lizzie's mouth so she could lick the batter off.

They spent the rest of the night playing around while they cooked and then telling stories while they ate their creations. Once Lizzie was fast asleep Elena put her in her bed just as Caroline was walking through the door.

"He's perfect Elena" The blonde girl said in a dreamy voice "I've never been this happy"

"I'm so glad for you Caroline" Both women hugged each other while basking in the blonde's happiness. There was nothing Caroline wanted more than for Elena to be as happy as she was; after all they deserved it after everything they went through to reach this moment. She knew Damon was the right man for Elena but decided not to push her on it yet, she needed to realize that on her own.

"Thank you so much for taking care of her Elena" Caroline told her with warm eyes.

"Anything you want Blondie" Elena smiled before heading towards her own apartment.

Once inside Elena put on one of her favorite records before shedding her clothes and heading towards the bathroom where she took a long hot bath while trying to block everything else around her but the sound of the music.

When she was done she wrapped herself in her favorite silk robe and stared at herself in the mirror. Elena was a beautiful woman and she was aware of the fact, people complimented her all the time; her looks, her grace, her smile but all of those people failed to see the one thing her niece could see.

She was broken.

With a deep sigh she exited the bathroom and headed towards the living room where the record she put on earlier was still playing, she reached into the shelf and pulled out another one, one whose case was ripped from the use. With a deep breath she put it on and when the beginning strings of Doris Day's Dream a little dream of me started sounding she couldn't hold the tears back anymore.

This had been their song; they had danced to it on more than one occasion. If the song ever came on the radio while they were driving Damon would stop the car and pull her out so they could dance, it didn't matter where they were.

Elena wrapped her arms around herself as she swayed to the soft music. It never ceased to amaze her how the human brain worked. How something so simple as music, or a smell or a touch or even just a small sound could connect you to other places or moments. How something as simple as this song could evoke such strong emotions that were buried deep inside her, and make her feel exactly how she felt the first time she listened to it.

As Elena kept swaying to the music she started to wonder if keeping Damon away was the right call or if Lizzie had been right. Caroline had urged her to confirm his story with the police and she had done it. Damon hadn't lied, he didn't show up that day because they arrested him, everything she ever believed was a lie. But that didn't change the facts or what happened afterwards, loving Damon had destroyed her life but he was also the one who taught her how to live it.

Elena had her fair share of painful years, suffering for her love and her baby and the future that was ripped away from her. Was it worth it to keep suffering because she was afraid of being hurt? Wasn't she hurting right now anyway?

The song kept playing the rest of the night as she danced around the empty apartment with just the illusion of the only man she had ever loved as a companion.

* * *

 **REVIEW?**


	19. Please don't take my sunshine away

**Happy Valentine's day my lovelies!**

 **I hope you all have an amazing day and enjoy it with your loved ones, it's important to let people know we care about them, not only today but everyday and I care so much about all of you. Thank you so much for still be reading this and taking a moment to let me know how you feel about the story. I really hope you like this chapter (sorry if it's a short one). As always I want to thank Lorena for being the best beta a girl could ask for.**

 **Love, today and always**

 **Sam**

* * *

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms  
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried.

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me  
When I awake my poor heart pains.  
So when you come back and make me happy  
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

 **You are my sunshine** **.**

 **.**

 **.**

Damon Salvatore sipped on his cup of black coffee as he hung up the phone, he let the hot liquid warm his insides as he leaned back on the chair and stared at the city extending below him outside the window.

His mind was troubled and he wasn't able to find a solution to the problem arising in front of him. No matter how much he had wanted to delay the inevitable it was time for him to go back to North Carolina, he had a business to run and he could no longer do it from afar. Only now it wasn't only Stefan that he would be leaving behind, it was also her; he would have to leave his Elena once again.

"Why do you look so gloomy?" Stefan asked as he approached the living room, he dropped his briefcase and took off his coat before joining his brother on the opposite chair.

"It's time I go back home" Damon answered simply

Stefan nodded as he rubbed his hand across one of his cheeks "Yes, I was wondering how much longer you were going to put that off"

"I can't leave"

"You have to leave Damon"

Damon sighed and placed his cup of coffee on the small table next to him "I just found her Stefan, I can't just leave"

"I know brother, I know how much you love her and I know how much she still loves you" Damon's heart skipped a beat at his brother's words "But your lives are very different now and I don't know how you'll manage to make them work together"

"I'll find a way" Damon told him stubbornly

Stefan smiled slightly while looking at his brother "Trust me, I don't have a doubt that you'll achieve whatever you have in mind"

Damon leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples as he closed his eyes "I need to ask you for a favor brother"

"Anything Damon" The younger Salvatore answered without the slightest hint of hesitation. If there was something that hadn't changed over the years, it was the loyalty and the love the two brothers shared for each other.

"I need you to help me find my daughter" Damon's words echoed in the silence of the living room as the noise from the city could be heard at the distance.

"Whoa, what?" Stefan sat straighter in his chair and looked at his brother deeply "What are you saying Damon?"

"I've been making some phone calls, Stef, Caroline told me the name of the place they were sent to and with a little bit more time-"

"Damon you know Elena signed a paper, she can't try to contact the girl… at least until she's eighteen I guess"

"She signed it but I didn't"

"Oh Damon"

"Nothing can stop me from trying to find my daughter" He told his brother with complete resolution. Since the moment Elena told him the story about what happened with their child he had set everything in motion, he had made a million phone calls and was positive that he would find her sooner rather than later.

"And what would you do if you find her?" Stefan asked "She must be with another family. You could change that girl's world Damon"

"I know, I know" He sighed "Truth be told I don't know what I'm going to do once I find her but I do know that I have to find her"

"Okay, okay"

"Look, I've bribed my way into this" He stood up and went to his room to retrieve a black leather notebook. "They gave me information about eight different children who could all be mine"

"Okay let's see"

"In four different states: Ohio, Pennsylvania, Georgia and Colorado" Damon sighed and handed the notebook to Stefan "I need you to help me narrow it down. Caroline knows about this"

"She does?" Stefan asked with a raised brow

"I asked her not to tell anyone, I don't want Elena to know in case we don't find anything"

"Of course, that's for the best"

"So, will you help me?"

"You think I could say no?" Stefan asked with a smirk that made them look so alike. The truth was that no matter what Stefan was always going to be there for his brother.

A little time afterwards when Stefan was sound asleep in the bedroom next to his, Damon lay awake looking at the celling and wondering if he would succeed in what he had planned, would he find their daughter? Would Elena agree to what he was going to ask?

Over the years Damon had turned into a bitter man, angry because of the things that he lost in life, sad because of what it could have been. That had soured him inside but somehow since he saw her again he was finding the softness inside him once again, she was bringing him back to life and this time he wasn't going to let anything take the sun out of his life.

* * *

The cold air of New York hit her the minute she walked out of the door; she wrapped her coat more tightly around herself as she walked across the street, the sound of her pilgrim pumps on the pavement mixing with the city noises.

The figure she was walking to had his hands buried in his long coat and was giving her a small smile, his cheeks were rosy and his hair was styled in a very James Dean way, she couldn't deny that he was still the most handsome man she had ever seen.

"Hello" She said once she reached him

"Hi" He answered back and offered her his arm, she took it without thinking twice and they started walking down the street to the small cafe they had visited the first time he showed up here, almost like it was the most natural thing in the world for them. "I wanted to be here yesterday"

"I know" She answered "Stefan told me"

"I have to go back to North Carolina" Damon said in a whisper and Elena almost stopped walking at his words, she knew this was coming. After all he had a life back there but she just didn't expect for it to be so soon. "I'm taking the car so I'll probably have to get out of here the day after tomorrow"

"The day after tomorrow…" Elena's whisper trailed off as he opened the door for the café and they walked inside. The smell and warmness of the place was an instant comfort for her, contrasting from the chilliness that had found a way into her body.

In so many ways Damon was to Elena a storm, he had waltzed back into her life out of the blue, creating havoc and destroying everything she ever believed to be true, only to disappear just as quickly as he had arrived.

"I guess that we both knew this was going to happen" Elena murmured as they sat in a booth in the back, as far away from the people's bustle that they could get.

They both ordered hot chocolate instead of coffee this time and Damon asked for a slice of apple pie for him and cherry pie for her. Elena smiled at the gesture and started folding the napkin that was sitting on the table out of nervousness.

"I don't want to go Elena" He whispered with emotion while she continued playing with the napkin "But I have to" Her movements stopped and she took a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm so angry at you Damon" She told him, her voice wavering as her eyes moved up and found his across the table "You came back to mess with my life"

"No I didn't, that's the last thing I ever wanted"

"Well that's what you did" She spat. Elena knew how unfair she was being but the truth was that she didn't want him to go and she had no idea how to react to that.

"Come with me"

"What?"

"Come with me Elena"

"Are you insane?" She almost shrieked and then rolled her eyes when she saw the amusement in his eyes, of all the things she expected Damon to tell her this was definitely the last one.

"Your last performance for the show is tomorrow, take a break and come with me to North Carolina. Come see the life I've built for myself, for us" There was such a certainty and confidence in his eyes that Elena felt tempted to tell him yes on the spot. After all, wasn't that what they had planned all of those years ago, running away together?

"I can't" She answered instead

The waitress interrupted them when she arrived with their order, when Elena took the first bite of cherry pie she couldn't help but close her eyes at the deliciousness that it was. She would never admit it but she hadn't eaten a piece of cherry pie ever since he left.

He smiled at her obvious likeness of the dessert and took a piece of his own before sipping his hot chocolate "Why not?" He asked after a moment.

"Why not what?"

"Why won't you come with me?" He asked as he looked at her intently.

"I can't believe you're asking me that" She told him in disbelief "Let's see, up until a few days ago I hated you to death" She raised one finger to count "And then there's the fact that I don't know you, not really" She raised another finger "And finally, well I just can't throw caution into the wind and jump in your Camaro to North Carolina"

"Well let's see" He leaned forward and raised one finger to count "If I understood correctly you no longer hate me so that's not an impediment anymore" He raised another finger "You know me, you know you do, and anyway this could be a chance to re-discover us" He raised a third finger "And finally, I drive a Mercury now, and I'm not asking you to drop everything and follow me, I'm just saying you seem to need a little vacation and you should come with me because, why not?"

"You drive a mercury?" She asked in surprise

"Yes I do" He nodded before taking another bite of his pie.

"What happened with the Camaro?"

"It's in storage"

"Why?"

"Too many memories"

His words were like a punch to her guts. In a way she understood why he had done it, after all she too had done her best to bury him and cast him out of her life but she couldn't help but feel sad that he had chosen to hide something that meant so much to them back then.

"You wanted to erase me?"

Damon shook his head "That's not what-"

"Unbelievable" She huffed

"Doll come on" Damon smiled in spite of himself. Elena had always been a sweet girl and he could count on his two hands how many fights they had had over their time together; however, right now he was seeing another part of her, the hellcat she could be and he loved every second of it.

"Stop smiling like that! No Damon I won't go on a stupid road trip with you" Elena angrily cut another piece of pie and put it in her mouth, she chewed so furiously that Damon feared she was going to chip a tooth.

"Why not?"

"I already listed you all my reasons"

"Those reasons are crap, tell me a good one"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath "Because it could break us" She whispered "It could break me"

"Elena everything that could ever go wrong with us already did, aren't we broken right now?"

"I don't-"

"Give us a chance"

"I shouldn't"

"You should"

Elena stared at him and couldn't find any more words to refute his offer. He was looking at her so deeply with those baby blues that always made her weak in the knees. There was a huge part of her that wanted to say yes, to jump in his car and drive away as they should have done all of those years ago.

She wanted to run away with him and everything else be damned.

But there was also the other part of her, the cautious one. The one who still held on tightly to those sad lonely nights in Stella Marie, that part told her it was a huge mistake to even consider going away with him because what good could come out of it? They had tried it once and they had failed miserably.

Maybe Damon and her were just not meant to be

"Come with me Elena" He whispered once more as he reached across the table and took her hands in his, she closed her eyes in pain as she let the feel of his hands on her travel all over her body. "Let's run away together"

Was it worth it? Was the pain of reopening old wounds worth the feeling of this man's hands on her body, for his words and the feeling of being unstoppable?

Elena stood at the end of a crossroad, with two parts of herself fighting the other for the right decision. She knew what she was supposed to do but she just wasn't sure it was the right choice.

The question now was would she be brave enough to do what she wanted?

* * *

 **So, what Elena should do?**


	20. Don't have a choice but I still choose U

**Hello there!**

 **I must warn you this is a bit of a drama filled chapter but I really hope you like it.**

 **Some of you have been telling me that the Camaro was not built until after 1959 that it's when the story begins and I know this but there's no way I can write a Damon Salvatore without his blue camaro, there's no way so please just ignore this fact and roll with it.**

 **Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave me a review, they totally made my day better.**

 **Thanks to Lorena for her amazing support.**

 **And here we go.**

* * *

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back  
The less I give the more I get back  
Your hands can heal, your hands can bruise  
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you

I don't love you but I always will

 **The Civil Wars**

.

.

Elena Gilbert paced back and forth in her bedroom as her best friend and her daughter finished packing her belongings.

"I think I'm making a mistake" She told them for the millionth time that day

"No, you're not" Her best friend, Caroline, answered.

Elena brought her index finger to her mouth and started chipping off the nail polish on it. After a lot of thought and two hellish restless nights she had finally decided to agree to Damon's offer and go with him to North Carolina. The rational part of her told her she was making the biggest mistake of her life, but the part of her that was still optimistic told her this might be the first step to reaching the life she always dreamed of.

"I think we have everything ready auntie Ellie" Lizzie said in a cheerful voice, at the beginning she had been a little bit upset that Elena was going away but after finding out she was going with Damon she had been fully supportive of the idea.

Elena looked at the clock on her nightstand and the coil in the pit of her stomach tightened even more "He should be here any moment" She whispered.

Caroline walked towards her and gripped her hands with hers "Elena you know I wouldn't be so keen on this if I thought it was a bad idea" The blonde girl told her "But I think this is exactly what you need"

"I think this road trip is going to open so many wounds Care"

"I know sweetheart but maybe that's what you need in order to forgive and let go" She told her kindly before wrapping her into a hug. Elena fought back her tears and tightened her arms around her friend. "Remember the Virgin is always with you"

She was so afraid of this trip, of being once again with Damon and letting herself feel for him again. If everything came crashing down like it did before Elena was sure she wouldn't be able to stand it this time.

"It's going to be okay auntie" Elena heard Lizzie's voice and then felt her small arms wrap around her waist even though Caroline hadn't let go of her yet. Emotion clogged in her throat as she let go of her friend and kneeled down to hug the little girl who had brightened her life in so many ways.

"Thank you Lizzie" Elena whispered against the girl's hair as she let one single tear roll down her cheek, a tear for the little girl she would never hold in her arms the way she was hugging her niece.

A knock on the door interrupted their moment and Elena let go of Lizzie "I think your prince is here" She said, which earned a giggle from Caroline and an eye roll from her.

The blonde girl went to open the door as Elena and Lizzie finished zipping her bags, Elena took a look at herself in the mirror, she was wearing a simple blue dress that was a bit above the knee and had a belt around the waist paired with cream colored booties. She had decided to style her hair into a simple high pony tail but now that she stared at herself she realized that had been a bad idea because her hair had been in that exact same way the first time he spoke to her, not that she had any time to change it now.

"Let's go auntie" Lizzie said while taking one of the bags and heading towards the living room where Elena could already hear the voices of Damon and Caroline.

She took a deep breath before grabbing one of the bags and following the little girl. When she entered the living room and found him next to Caroline she almost sighed like a school girl.

He was dazzling as always, but with the light entering from the window hitting his handsome face he truly looked like the prince Lizzie claimed he was. He was wearing grey slacks and a black cardigan that did nothing but bring out the blue in his eyes, his hair was in that James Dean way again, and Elena wanted nothing more than to run her hand through it to see if it was still as soft as it had been back in the day.

"Hello doll" He told her when he caught her staring at him and she felt a blush begin to cover her entire face.

"Hi" She answered softly as she smoothed her hand over imaginary wrinkles on her dress. His lips curled up into a smirk and her heart did a cartwheel in her chest.

"You ready?" He asked as he moved closer to her.

The minute Damon had seen her walk out of her bedroom it had been like he was transported to Mystic Falls ten years back and he was seeing her for the first time- hanging out with her friends in Mystic Falls High School, he knew since that first moment his eyes stared at her that she was going to be the only woman he was ever going to love.

"Yes, I have everything" Elena babbled, mentally cursing herself for behaving like a school girl all over again. This wasn't the first time she was going to be with him since he returned but somehow it felt like it was.

Damon smiled at Lizzie before ruffling her hair and taking the bag she was holding "How you doing kid?" He asked with the warmest smile Elena had seen from him in a while. Her heart broke at the sight and she almost collapsed from the painful force that threatened to split her apart.

"I'm doing okay" Lizzie smiled brightly at him "Are you taking Auntie Ellie to your palace?"

"My palace?" Damon asked with a smile and raised his eyebrows. Elena closed her eyes as her hand moved to her stomach and she tried to block every sound of Damon and Lizzie's conversation. It hurt so much to think of what could have been and all she had been forced to give up because she wasn't strong enough.

Luckily for her Damon was so engrossed in his talk with the little girl that he didn't take notice of her little outburst but her best friend who was still standing next to the window did. Elena met Caroline's sad eyes across the room and she gave her friend a tight and what she hoped was a reassuring smile but she knew her friend didn't buy her act.

"I don't think we should keep you any longer" The blonde girl said in an overly happy tone. "You should get going if you want to get on the road on time"

"Yes, you're right" Damon smiled brightly and then frowned when he saw the expression on Elena's face, not that she let him see it for a long time; she schooled her features back to normal in record time, reminding him that there was still so much of this new Elena he didn't know.

They both said their goodbyes, Elena holding onto her friend for a little too long before leaving the apartment. They went down the elevator in complete silence, the nerves creating havoc in her stomach with every minute that passed.

"Not very different" Elena smiled in spite of herself when she saw the cougar blue Mercury parked on the street.

"What can I say? I have a type" He smirked before popping open the trunk and loading it with Elena's things. She walked around the car touching it, thinking about the adventures Damon had lived in it and regretting not being a part of any of it. Luckily she would have this trip to rectify it.

"You ready?" He asked, bringing her back from her sad thoughts.

"Yes" She nodded simply. He smiled and walked towards her.

"Thank you for choosing to come with me" His blue eyes stared warmly at her before he leaned down and pressed his soft lips onto her forehead, Elena's eyes closed of her own accord as she breathed in his scent and rejoiced in his proximity.

The moment was over too soon and he moved to open the passenger door for her, Elena took a deep breath before entering the car and being surrounded by all things Damon. If she didn't pay enough attention she could even picture she was sitting at the Camaro right now.

Damon entered the car and smiled the biggest smile she had ever seen, the crow's feet by his eyes growing and she swore there was nothing more beautiful than him at this very moment. He turned up the car and as the motor roared and they took off a beautiful thought came to her mind.

They were finally running away together and this time no one was going to stop them.

* * *

Damon knew that he could make the drive in eleven hours' top if he didn't stop and maintained a steady speed but the truth was that he wanted to prolong this road trip for as long as he could so he was driving as slow as the limit allowed him and had decided to suggest to Elena that they take a little detour to do some sightseeing.

"But won't that take us longer?" Elena had asked when he told her his plan. He had only nodded while a smile splayed on his face "Won't they need you at work?"

"We'll still make it on time for Monday morning"

She had smiled at him then and it had been decided that they would spend the night in Annapolis and do some sightseeing in the morning before taking off again. And so now they were a good half an hour away; Elena had a map sprawled on her lap and was looking at it with a frown, her ponytail was messy and had more than a few hairs sticking out of it; she was the most beautiful woman Damon had ever seen and if he didn't need to drive he would keep on staring at her all afternoon.

"Are you sure we took the right turn?" She asked him. She had been asking that every half an hour but instead of getting on his nerves he enjoyed it, he enjoyed everything she was willing to give him.

"Yes doll, I'm sure"

"Okay then" She folded the map and placed it on the dashboard. "So, what is it that you do at the restaurant, are you the main cook?"

"I used to be" He told her "For the first year and a half I did all of the cooking while Stefan managed the bar, but since we're doing more than okay now we've hired people for it" He explained to her "But I'm still there every day to make sure everything runs smoothly and I deal with suppliers and bills and all of that"

"Wow, it all sounds very important" She told him with a smile, she stared at his profile and was marveled once again that she was now sitting next to Damon Salvatore, if someone would have told her a month ago she was going to be here right now she wouldn't have believed it. "And what was it that made you decide to move to North Carolina?"

"Honestly?" He asked "After I gave up on the idea of finding you in New York I bought a map, stared at it for hours, just thinking where I should go. I don't really know what it was that made me decide on North Carolina, I think it was the fact that it wasn't too close to New York but not too far away either"

Elena looked down at her hands in her lap, the silence stretching out in the car. Her eyes closed and she twisted her hands, they had been so close back then, both in the same city. He had been looking for her and she had been doing everything in her power to be invisible.

"Do you like it there?" She asked in a whisper

"Yes, I wasn't very sure at the beginning. But like I said before, I started travelling a lot and somehow I always wanted to go back there, I felt at home, like I had never felt in another place before…well, except when I was with you"

Elena's breath got stuck in her throat at his admission, Damon wasn't shy about letting her know how he felt about her after all this time, but still hearing him say it aloud did some amazing things to her heart.

"Which part of North Carolina do you live in?"

"Wilmington" He smiled fondly and Elena realized she was happy that Damon had found a place where he belonged. She knew that with the life he and Stefan had lived when they were younger they never really had found a place where they could actually grow roots. "Bonnie says life by the water suits me"

Elena's head turned so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash "Bonnie?" She stared at his profile intently, the sun had started to set a few minutes ago and now the darkness was starting to show, maybe it had something to do with the clouds lurking in the sky.

"Yes, Bonnie Bennet"

"Are you friends with Bonnie Bennet?" Elena asked in a very calm and low voice. She hadn't seen her ex best friend since that fated day at the diner when she walked out on her, she thought about her once in a while but not very often, so it was more than a shock to find out that Damon had kept in touch with her.

"When I went back to Mystic Falls to find you she was one of the people I asked about you. She told me you guys had a fallout and weren't speaking but asked me to tell you she was sorry if I ever saw you again" He explained in a calm voice

"We had a fallout because she called you white trash and said I should stay away from you unless I planned to raise my children in the floor of a dinner" Elena was surprised at the bitterness in her voice and regretted her words when she saw the wince on Damon's face "I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"It's okay doll" He reassured her "But people change, Elena, she did. I met her again a few years later and I don't know, we just kept in touch. We're really good friends now"

"I see" Elena said quietly. She couldn't help the nagging jealousy that crept into her body at his words, the fondness with which he talked about her former friend. How come Bonnie got to have Damon when she couldn't?

"Are you okay?" He looked at her briefly before turning his attention back on the road

"Did you and her ever-?" Elena trailed off, not even wanting to finish the sentence, she couldn't explain it but the idea of Bonnie with Damon of all people really made her feel sour.

"What? No, no, of course not" He answered with a shake of his head, shocked that she could think something like that

"I had to ask you" She shrugged

"I can assure you, it's nothing like that"

"But you have been with other women" She whispered and when he didn't answer she huffed in response "Of course" Elena knew she was being irrational, ten years had gone by, she didn't expect Damon to live his life like a monk, but the idea of him with other women was enough to make her start acting out of character "How many?"

"Not many" He said simply, a muscle was pulsing in his jaw and his eyes were completely fixated on the road.

"Truly?"

"I swear, not many" His stance relaxed a bit "It's the truth, honestly three…in the span of ten years and even if it sounds awful I didn't love any of them, they were all a one time thing" He looked at her briefly but averted his eyes when she looked at him.

"Honestly?"

"I would never lie to you Elena" He said in a soft voice

"Okay"

"Did you ever-?" He asked, afraid of the answer. He knew he didn't have any right to ask, God knows that even if in his mind he always belonged to Elena he had two or three slips over the last ten years. He couldn't expect for her to remain celibate but he couldn't stop the part of him that dreaded to know she had given herself to someone else.

"I haven't" She said in a whisper.

"What about that guy Liam?" Damon bit out, vile rising to his throat at the thought of him and Elena. He knew he had suggested for her to call the police and he had wanted to plum him into the floor for even thinking about keeping him away from Elena.

"We're just friends"

"I wouldn't expect for you to… I mean you didn't owe anything to me" Damon knew that it was meant to hurt but he preferred to know the truth than live in a lie.

"It's only been you Damon" She choked up while she turned her head to look out of the window. Damon's throat clogged with emotion as a sense of relief invaded him, he knew it was selfish but he was so damn glad that he still remained as the only man in Elena's life.

The mood dampened after that, they remained the rest of the way to Annapolis in complete silence; the tension was thick in the car and they were both praying for a hotel to appear soon so they could walk out of the car and have some time alone to gather their thoughts.

"That one looks good" Elena looked to a very decent looking hotel, the clouds were darker now and they knew the rain was about to start any minute now so it was better to find shelter sooner rather than later.

"Yes, I think it'll do" Damon told her softly. He headed towards the parking lot as the first droplets of rain started to fall from the sky "You want us to meet for dinner later?" There was no doubt that they were getting separate rooms but Damon didn't want to go to bed without fixing whatever had gone sour between them. "Elena, do you?"

"No I don't" She answered sharply and opened the door of the car without even a glance back.

"Elena, what the hell?!" Damon shouted while following her out of the car, she started to walk towards the entrance so he followed her, not even caring about their stuff still being in the car's trunk. "What is happening?" He grabbed her by the elbow and forced her to stop, the rain was heavier now but he wasn't about to let her go without an explanation.

"What's happening is that you should have never agreed to this" She yelled at him "This was a big mistake Damon"

"No it wasn't"

"Yes, it was" She told him, rain drops clang to her lashes and she had to blink them away to see him clearly "Too much time has passed ,Damon, too much pain and… it's just too much"

"And it's all my fault" He shouted angrily. "Because everything is always my fault. Do you think you're the only one in pain Elena?"

"Damon I-"

"No, no" He spat at her "I know you suffered and I can't even start to understand all that you had to go through Elena" Damon moved closer to her, the rain had them completely wet and his hair was now sticking to his forehead "But I wasn't dancing on clouds either, I too wanted to fucking die!" He shouted "I wanted to rip open my chest because the pain of not being around you was killing me; I had to spend night after night wondering where you were, if you were okay, if our baby was okay"

"And I had to watch them rip her away from me!" She cried angrily, the tears and rain mixing on her face

"I know darling, and trust me my heart aches for it, but please don't act like I was living a great life while that was happening" His eyes were red and she didn't know if it was the rain or his own tears. "You know I wanted nothing more than to be there"

"But you didn't, you didn't show up and I was in hell. And I tried to kill myself with fucking aspirins" She threw her words at him and watched him flinch at them "You weren't there and I had to stand on my own and do nothing while they took her away and you weren't there to protect us! You promised but you weren't there to keep us safe"

Her words were like a physical blow and he even recoiled back at them "You know that wasn't my fault Elena" He told her in a surprisingly steady voice. Ever since he came back and found out what happened that had been eating him up, his job was always to keep her and the baby safe and he had failed miserably. "You know that I never wanted-"

"God I'm sorry, I know you-"

"You don't know shit Elena!" He cried, his voice wobbled with emotion "I went through hell too so don't come here and tell me it's my fault because you know damn well it wasn't"

She stayed in silence while staring at him as the rain poured down on them in the deserted parking lot and old wounds and recriminations resurfaced after so long.

They eventually found their way inside, drenched, sad, and more than a little bit lonely; they went to their separate bedrooms and collapsed once the door was closed.

They cried for the past that kept hurting them, for the present they didn't know how to handle and for the future that seemed to be further away with every step they took.

* * *

 **Review?**


	21. Once upon a time a boy loved a girl

T **his is definitly one of my favorites chapters, I really hope you all enjoy it as much as I did and I want to know what you think of it**

 **. Thank you so much for still reading and thanks to Lorena for being an amazing beta.**

 **Love,**

 **Sam.**

 **P.S Did you watch TVD last friday? Wasn't it awsome! I'm still on shock because of that episode.**

* * *

"Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering. When they were ten he asked her to marry him. Their love was a secret they told no one. He promised her he would never love another girl as long as he lived. 'What if I die' She asked. 'Even then', he said"

 **-Nicole Krauss-**

 **.**

.

Elena cried for what felt like hours after the door shut behind her. Then she stripped out of her clothes and took a long hot shower, her tears mixed with the water as everything she was feeling went away into the drain. Afterwards she put on her sleeping clothes and crawled under the safeness and warmness of the covers but sleep refused to come. The room seemed too big and too lonely for her, she gripped the covers more tightly as she tried to close the enormous gap that had opened in her chest after her fight with Damon.

Now that she looked back she could see that it hadn't been fair to say those things to him, she was in pain and no one could deny that but he was in pain too, and it wasn't fair of her to lash out at him for something that wasn't his fault. But the thing was if she couldn't blame Damon then who could she blame? Her parents were miles away so there was no use in it and she had spent too much time blaming herself already.

She tossed and turned in bed a few minutes more before a knock on the door made her remain still. "Elena? Are you awake?" The soft murmur of Damon's voice came from the other side of the door and she released the breath she didn't know she was holding "I know you're awake" He continued "I want to apologize"

Elena sighed and removed the covers off herself before taking a robe and heading to the door, when she opened it she found a red eyed Damon staring back at her; his hair was disheveled and he was wearing dark pajama pants and a white t-shirt "I'm sorry" They both said at the same time.

In less than a heartbeat Damon was inside the room and was surrounding her with his strong arms, Elena relaxed in his embrace and gripped him as tightly as he was doing with her. "I never meant to yell at you"

"No, Damon it's my fault. I shouldn't have said those things" She whispered against his chest. Her hands fisted his shirt at his back. "I'm so sorry"

Damon breathed in her scent, that faint smell of cinnamon and apples that she always seemed to carry around. He had hated fighting with her today and even though a part of him still remained hurt because of her words he couldn't stand the idea of going to sleep with things like that between them.

"I'm so sorry" She repeated

"Elena… was it true?" His soft voice echoed in the silence of the room "What you said about trying to kill yourself?" He told her as he broke apart from their embrace, the door had shut behind them and only the light of the moon filtering through the blinds was illuminating them. He hadn't been able to get her words out of his head, they were eating him up inside

"I was foolish" She buried her head in his chest once again and breathed in his scent, reminding herself that he was indeed here with her "I shouldn't have said it like that, like I was blaming you. It wasn't your fault. I made those decisions"

"Hey, hey" He gripped her chin between his fingers and forced her eyes to meet his "It wasn't your fault either" He hated to think of the pain she must have felt, leading her to take that awful choice. Damon promised in that moment that he would never allow her to feel that way again.

Elena nodded but didn't say a word "I guess we still have a lot of things to work on" He said softly "But this wasn't a mistake darling" He stroked her cheek lovingly "We could never be a mistake"

"I know" She nodded "But I feel so scared sometimes. You scare me Damon" Goosebumps rose in her skin at the admission; Damon had always been the one person with whom she could truly show all of her insecurities and fears.

"I'm going to keep you safe Elena" He pressed their foreheads together, their breaths mingling with each other "This time I will keep my word"

"Oh Damon" She said in a half sob as he wrapped her in his arms once again "I shouldn't have said that to you. It wasn't your fault, none of it was your fault" She gripped his t shirt at the waist. "How are we going to fix all of this" Her voice was laced with despair as she clung to him with all of her strength.

"With time and patience and a lot of love doll" He reassured her "I think our love can beat anything"

"I wish I could be as positive as you Damon" She told him

"Don't worry, I can be positive for both of us" A small smile appeared on his lips. Truth be told Damon had been everything but positive in the last ten years but after finding her again and holding her in his arms there was nothing that could stop him or nothing that could make him stop hoping and believing. "We'll work it out Elena"

"We still have so much to fix between us" She whispered against his chest

"We can start tomorrow, for tonight just let me sleep with you darling" He whispered next to her ear and Elena's whole body came alive at his words "Just sleep, I promise. I want to hold you one more time" His voice echoed in the silence of the room and Elena knew in that moment that there was no going back, Damon was inside her heart again and there was no way he was going away.

She nodded silently against his chest before he took her hand and lead her onto the bed. He lay down against the pillows and drew her to rest in the crook of his neck, her head fitting there as if they were created for this exact purpose; his arms locked around her and they went to sleep surrounded by their love, the way they should have been doing for the last ten years.

The next morning Elena woke up to find the bed empty and cold, and for a minute she wondered if perhaps she had dreamt the whole thing up and Damon never really showed up in her bedroom last night. But just when the panic was about to start consuming her the door burst open and he walked inside carrying two bags filled with food from the diner next to the hotel.

They ate in a very comfortable silence, years had gone by and they had been a part of all that time but in a matter of hours they had settled back into old habits and the normalcy of being with each other.

While Damon went to check them out and load their things into the car Elena took a shower and got dressed into a very simple green polo style dress with a white belt around the waist. She was wearing white sneakers and had her hair in a low ponytail with a bit of volume on top. Once she was satisfied with her appearance she exited the room and headed to the parking lot to find Damon. She stood still and more than a bit awestruck when she saw him leaning against his car. He was wearing dark pants and a dark dress shirt today, his hair was perfectly styled and he was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses; a cigar was trapped indolently between his lips and for a minute she thought he looked a lot like Johnny Cash.

There was no doubt that he was one handsome man Elena thought as she watched him. He was oblivious of her and was drawing small drags from his cigar, he seemed concentrated and a small frown graced his face; he seemed to be thinking too hard about something.

Elena took a deep breath and tried to regain her composure before heading towards him once again "Are you ready?" She asked once she was close enough for him to hear her.

The minute he heard her voice his face turned to her and the biggest of smiles appeared on his face, his mouth slightly tilted to the side and even though she couldn't see his eyes she was sure they were sparkling, like they did every time he truly smiled.

"All ready" he told her before putting out his cigar and moving to the passenger side to open the door for her.

In no time they were touring the streets of Annapolis, Elena had never thought of that little town too much but she found that she quite liked it; the people were nice and there were some very interesting things to see.

She had brought her R2000 camera and had snapped thousands of pictures, knowing Caroline and Lizzie would ask for them when she returned, she even snapped a few of Damon and her together. She loved the colonial houses but her favorite thing about the small town was definitely the Summer Garden Theater, she loved the concept of a theater under the stars and promised herself to go back in the future to see a show. Her heart warmed as she looked at Damon and wondered if there was a chance he would return with her one day.

They walked along the river and Damon told her that it reminded him a lot of Wilmington where he was currently living, he eventually held her hand and she automatically leaned her head against his shoulder. Elena felt like she was living in a dream and with each passing second she grew more and more scared of waking up.

"You know we could have made this entire trip in a day right?" She asked once they were back on the road, they had spent the entire morning in Annapolis and dusk was now starting to settle in.

"We could have, but it wouldn't have been half as fun" He gave her his trade mark smirk and she felt excitement rise in her like she was a school girl again.

'Girl from the North Country', a very popular Bob Dylan song started to sound on the radio, it was the version with Johnny Cash and Elena couldn't help but turn up the volume and sing along to the lyrics. It was a very sad song and it always left her feeling a little blue but she loved the emotion in every word and how the singers could deliver it with so much passion.

"You like them?" Damon asked in a voice thick with emotion

"Yes" She whispered, the soft notes of the song were the only thing that could be heard in the car "Cash more than Dylan"

Damon nodded and his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter "I remember you loved 'I walk the line' "

"Yes" She told him "I continued to follow him ever since"

Damon took a deep breath; the emotion the song brought them was heavy in the air and the ghost of the life that could have been but was taken away hung between them. All those nights and days lost, all those little things he still didn't know about her.

"For how long have you been a professional dancer?" He asked

"Almost seven years" She answered "When I first came to New York I worked as a waitress and took dancing lessons. I went to a million auditions before I landed something fairly important"

"You're very good" He told her. After that first time when he saw the play with Caroline he had returned every night to the theater, he didn't just wait for her outside, he went inside to see her dance. He always loved to see her dance "You were always an amazing dancer"

The memory of days where she used to dance for him in his room was like a shadow surrounding them in the small car "And why did you decide you didn't want to be the star anymore?"

"I'm a very different person from the girl who wanted to be a star" Elena fidgeted with her hands on her lap "I didn't want the spotlight anymore, I just wanted the chance to do what I loved" She took a deep breath and stole a glance at him "I was a wreck back then Damon, it didn't appear that way but I was even more broken than what I am today" He moved a hand off the steering wheel and stilled her moving hands in her lap

"You're not broken Elena" He gripped her hand tightly "Maybe a little chipped but we're going to work on that"

She nodded in response as a small smile played on her lips, it amazed her how after so many years Damon could still make her think everything was possible with just a few words, how he could make her feel so safe and protected after everything that happened.

Damon didn't release her hand after that, they continued talking about things they liked and things they had missed out on the last ten years. He learned that she now loved cooking and baking and she learned that he built with his own hands the house where he now lived. She told him she hadn't spoken with her parents ever since she left Mystic Falls in spite of her father's incessant efforts and he told her he and Stefan had seen his father again a few years ago, he said it had been the biggest disappointment of his life.

The minutes trickled by like water on a dike, the sun set without them even realizing it and dark heavy clouds started to cover the sky.

"I don't think we'll be able to find a hotel or motel before it starts raining" She told him as the first droplets of water started to hit the roof of the car.

"There must be some place close" He reassured her "We'll just keep driving"

"All right"

They had been driving for a few more minutes when the rain started to fully pour down on them, it was even stronger than it had been the day before.

"I guess we should have left the town earlier, God knows when we'll-" Whatever Elena had been about to say was interrupted when the radio started playing 'Doris Day Dream a little dream'. Elena remained still, not even daring to breathe as the first chords of the song carried on; she wondered if he even remembered it.

Like another blast from the past a scene came to her; she and Damon buck naked dancing together to this song in his room, she remembered every single time they danced, she remembered it all too well. It's amazing how much a human being can store, how many feelings and smells and sensations.

"Look, it's just perfect" Damon's voice brought her back from the trip to memory lane only to find him parking the car in front of a small white church.

"That's a church Damon"

"I know"

"And it's closed"

"I have no intentions of going inside" He smirked at her before turning up the volume of the radio to the max and throwing open his door.

"What are you doing?" She shrieked as she watched him climb out into the soaking rain "You're going to get sick"

He was drenched instantly but he had the brightest smile on his face, he went around the car and opened her door as well "Will you dance with me, Miss Gilbert?" He hunched forward and offered her his hand

Her heart soared at his question because he had indeed remembered it "I can't believe you are going to make me do this" She muttered under her breath but it was futile to hide the big grin on her lips. Elena Gilbert felt truly happy for the first time in so long.

As Doris Day's voice continued sounding in the lonely highway they danced around the parking lot, she clung to him as they swayed with the rain pouring down on them. She didn't care about the cold, or the fact that her hair was sticking to her face, nor that her sneakers squeaked with water every time she moved. She only cared that she was in his arms once again after all this time.

"This is what I have missed the most" He whispered against her ear as his hold on her became stronger and he moved his lips to kiss the corner of her mouth. "I have missed you doll"

"I have missed you too" She told him before he took her lips in the most wonderful kiss she had experienced. Fireworks came alive inside her closed eyelids as they kissed for the very first time in ten years. Their mouths remembered each other instantly and fuzzed with passion as the heat between them grew more and more.

They kissed for what felt like hours, rediscovering each nook and crane they thought was forgotten, and relishing in being with each other again. She gripped his wet hair in her hands and he moved her backwards and pressed her to the side of the car, the song being long over.

Their mouths were red and swollen from their kisses but they didn't care, they could kiss for all eternity and it wouldn't be enough "I've- I…" Damon pressed their foreheads together and gripped her hips in his hands; Elena closed her eyes once again in pleasure and started undoing the buttons of his shirt.

"Darling…" He forced her to open her eyes and searched for any trace of doubt there but found none. He opened the door of the car and moved her to the back seat "Are you sure about this?" He asked before nuzzling her nose with his own.

"Yes, yes I am Damon"

They lost their clothes slowly; the rain kept pouring down outside but their bodies no longer felt cold, they were shivering from very different reasons now. He admired the differences in her body; the fullness that wasn't there before, the wideness of her hips and marveled at the fact that her skin was still the softest thing he had ever touched. She had the body of a woman now and he had never seen something more beautiful. He dragged his lips all over her skin, a single tear leaving his eye when he kissed her belly, reminding him of a time when he should have been with her but couldn't.

"Damon" Elena whispered and brought his face back to hers, she felt fascinated with the muscles ripping under her hands, with the body of a man that was so different from the boy she used to know. But he still had that wolf tattoo on his back and that birthmark on his abdomen, he was her Damon and he was finally with her again. "We need…" He kissed her neck and her eyes rolled up at the sensation "Protection Damon"

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and reached briefly into the front seat, after he was ready he moved himself to rest between her legs and paused, his eyes looked at her "I'll ask one more time-"

"I'm sure" She lifted herself up to kiss him as he entered her excruciatingly slow. The air was sucked out of his chest at the feeling of her surrounding him again, it was like time had stood still and nothing else existed but the two of them in the back seat. "Damon…" Elena panted "Move" She dug her nails into his hips to urge him when she realized he didn't plan to move anytime soon.

It had been way too long for Elena but even though she felt a bit of discomfort she could do nothing more than urge him on because something was growing inside her and he was the only one who could quench her thirst. She had forgotten how wonderful it felt to have him inside her.

Elena couldn't concentrate on anything but the movement of their bodies, of his hand touching her between their bodies and his mouth worshiping her everywhere he could reach, she didn't even know if the rain had stopped, nothing existed except Damon moving inside her.

"Oh darling, darling" Damon babbled against her neck as he trusted inside her frantically, he was losing focus of everything around him, there was nothing else for him than the body of the woman he loved in his arms "I love you, I love you so much doll"

Elena threw her head back and her legs clamped around him as his words threw her over the edge, her nails raked down his back and he growled deeply in his chest before releasing himself inside her.

She gripped him even more tightly as the aftershocks of her orgasm went through her, his mouth found hers and they kissed again, their tongues caressing each other sensually.

"I love you Damon" She whispered against his mouth and he couldn't help the way his eyes watered at hearing her words, because he had waited so damn long to hear them again.

"I love you too" He rasped out before dropping his forehead onto hers.

They remained locked together for a long time afterwards, the rain diminishing with each passing second, no one but them in the dark highway and no sound but their mouths meeting each other from time to time.

"I think we should get going" She told him

"You're probably right" He started to put on his wet clothes "I'll get us some dry clothes from the trunk"

Elena nodded and let out a laugh when she sat up "What's so funny?" Damon asked her with a raised eyebrow, a smirk on his face when she couldn't stop laughing.

"We just had sex in front of a church" She told him between giggles, Damon looked at the front and remembered where they had parked, he drew her into his embrace and pressed a kiss onto her forehead "My mother would die if she could see me now" The thought gave her some satisfaction and she could tell that it did the same for him from the way he chuckled.

"Take me home Damon"

His eyes found hers and the happiness she saw in them made her feel warm inside. There was no doubting anymore, no hiding it or trying to pretend it wasn't true. Damon was and always had been the only home she ever had.

* * *

 **Review?**


	22. Seahorses

"When seahorses find a mate, they wrap their tails around each other so the tide doesn't drift them apart. They have that one mate for the rest of their lives. When the mate dies, they do too"

 **-Unknown-**

 **.**

 **.**

They arrived at Wilmington with the first rays of sunshine; Elena had been quiet the entire time. There was happiness bubbling inside of her after what had happened between her and Damon in the road but right next to that happiness there was also fear clawing at her, fear of rushing things, fear of finally getting what she always wanted.

"You're going to love it here doll" He told her as they crossed the very brand new Cape fear bridge, Elena's eyes were looking at the water below her, its slow movements having a calming effect on her.

"It's so beautiful" She answered, it was certainly very different from the bustling New York streets. It didn't surprise her that Damon had found a home in this place, in so many ways it seemed to resemble the old Mystic Falls.

They continued driving for a few more minutes, the soft music coming out of the radio the only sound in that chilly morning. Damon maneuvered the car through the quiet streets, putting distance between the rows of houses and them until they arrived to a very secluded part of town.

"Here we are" He couldn't hide the happiness in his voice and Elena smiled with the knowledge that bringing her to his home could make him feel this giddy.

She was about to tease him about it when she truly paid attention to where they had arrived. The property was way bigger than she thought it would be, green land surrounded the house and a few trees were scattered around; beyond the house the lake extended and shined with the sunlight.

"You built this?" She asked in awe as she opened the door and fixated her eyes on the house.

The house looked like something out of a fairy tale or a beautiful postcard, it looked like happiness and love, but for her it looked like the promise of a future she never thought she would have.

The house was a mix of capecod and craftsman architecture, Elena was taken aback at how talented Damon was if he had been able to build something like this place from scratch.

It was a two story home with a steep roof and a central chimney; the exterior was painted in a soft cream color and had lots of woodwork. There were two windows on each side of the big mahogany door but what brought tears to Elena's eyes was the wide spacious porch, with tapered columns supported by a low pedestal made of stone.

"I built this place for you" He whispered as he snuck up to her from behind, his arms circling her slender frame and his head resting on top of her head "I've sat in that porch every night imagining that you're there dancing for me"

"Oh Damon" Elena covered her mouth with her hand, trying to contain the sob that was fighting its way through her throat.

"Welcome home darling" He kissed the side of her head and released her when he felt her trying to move around.

Elena turned around until she was facing him, his arms were holding her close to his body and his face showed nothing but happiness; ever since he came back into her life this was the first time Elena had seen him truly happy, like he was free.

Her hand caressed his face and he nuzzled into her palm "Is this real?" Her voice was filled with disbelief and more than a bit of awe. "It can't be real"

"It's all real doll" He took both of her hands between his and kissed them. Her eyes watered and she stared at him in silence for a few seconds before bursting into tears "Hey, it's okay. Don't cry" She tried to hide her face but he took her chin between his fingers and stopped her from moving

"God you must think I cry all of the time" She tried to joke but he was having none of it. He wrapped her in his arms and she could no longer hold it, she clang to him and buried her face into his chest as the tears flowed freely.

Being in this place, seeing the house she had dreamt about so much and to realize he had built it for her was bringing back so much pain and happiness at the same time. It was like she was contemplating the life she was supposed to have but wasn't able to and there was nothing more bittersweet than seeing what could have been.

"I'm sorry" She said between sobs as he stroked her hair softly

"Let it all out" He encouraged in a soft voice as he continued petting her. The chilly air of the morning rustled the trees and if she breathed in deep enough she could even smell the water from the river. A little piece of paradise, that's what this place was and Elena understood why Damon had eagerly decided to call it home.

They stayed at the edge of the property even after her sobs had died down, they held onto each other and swayed as the birds passed on top of them and the noises from the small town started to reach their ears.

"Are you ready to go inside?" He asked her

"Yes" She nodded and laced her fingers with his, giving him a small smile in the process. After all the crying she had done her chest was feeling a little lighter now and as the sun shined above them and his blue eyes gazed at her with adoration she finally understood that everything was going to be okay.

Damon was here this time and he wasn't going anywhere.

Elena Gilbert was finally home.

* * *

After they showered and changed their clothes Damon told her they were heading to his restaurant, Tiny Dancer, the minute he told her the name of the place her eyes had filled with tears again, but she let them fall with the biggest smile on her face this time. They were happy tears.

The place was next to the river and was much bigger than what she expected; it had a cozy and homey tone to it and was already filled with people when they arrived. They walked in hand in hand and every head was turned towards them the moment they put their feet inside.

Elena was wearing a deep red shift dress paired with white flat sneakers and had her hair up in a simple ballerina bun, she noticed a few men staring for way too long and felt Damon's hand grip hers tightly. His jaw was clenched and his eyes stoic.

"Who can really blame them?" He whispered only for her to hear and she couldn't help the small smile that curved her lips. Elena was a beautiful woman and as a dancer she was used to receiving praise about her looks but having Damon feel so angry about it was something new and exciting that she couldn't help but feel giddy with the knowledge of his jealousy.

Elena watched as most of the people waved or smiled over at Damon, on the way towards the back they had to stop at least three times so he could greet someone. It was so different from the way it had been in Mystic Falls, where everyone turned their heads whenever he was around, here Damon was loved, he was one of them.

He walked her past the kitchen and into a small office where a very beautiful and sweet looking elder woman was sitting. "You finally made it back boy" She said, standing up and walking towards them "I thought you were never going to return." She took both of his cheeks between her wrinkled hands and kissed them both. "And who might this little lady be?" Her eyes moved towards Elena who smiled timidly at her.

"Lisa, this is Elena Gilbert. Doll, this is Lisa" Damon introduced them, unable to erase the small smile on his face. Lisa had been the closest thing he had to a mother in the last few years, she and her husband had embraced Damon and Stefan as if they were their own; they were the family Stefan and Damon had built for themselves there.

"The Elena Gilbert?" Lisa raised an eye brow in the direction of Damon and took Elena's body into a warm hug. The girl returned the hug gladly; there was something so sweet about the woman that had Elena liking her instantly. "I'm so happy that you're finally here"

"I'm happy about that too" Elena said with a smile when they broke apart, Damon's hand finding hers instantly once again. "What do you mean the Elena Gilbert?"

"Sweetheart, you're all this man is capable of talking about" She laughed warmly and patted their joined hands "He always said he was going to find you, I'm so glad he did"

"I'm glad too" She smiled sweetly at them and his eyes shinned in response.

"Oh what a beautiful thing love is" Lisa sighed and spoke to herself while watching the young couple exchange glances. "I'll leave you two alone for a moment and then I need to discuss some things with you, boy"

"Of course Lisa, thanks for everything"

"It was nice meeting you Elena" The old woman gripped one of Elena's hands

"It was nice meeting you too" She returned the squeeze and smiled at her when she passed them to walk out of the door. "She's really nice" Elena told Damon the minute the door closed behind the elderly woman.

"She is, she's been like a mother to me and Stefan" There was true fondness in Damon's voice and Elena was glad to know he had met some good people along the way to help him when he was in need "So what do you think?" He asked as he moved to the desk, forcing her to walk with him since he hadn't released her hand from his grip.

"I think it's very beautiful" Elena answered truthfully "You've done good Damon, I'm proud of you" The air got stuck in his chest at her words. He sat on the big black reclining chair and moved her so she was sitting on his lap.

"You know it's all because of you darling" He told her as he tightened his arms around her slender frame, her face was pressed to the side of his and she placed a soft kiss onto his temple "You're the one who made me want to do something for myself, to be better." Elena stroked his hair softly, a pang of nostalgia hitting her as her hands went through the scattered grey hairs "Back in that town… nobody expected anything from me. They all thought I wasn't worth it…except you. You decided I was worth something and took a shot with me. Even if we've been apart all this time, the memory of you was always present and it was the one thing that kept pushing me forward. You've made me a better man Elena"

"Oh Damon" Elena sighed "You can't just say things like that to a girl" Her voice quivered as she wiped the corner of her eyes

"Why not?" His eyes found hers, they shinned with love and happiness "You're my girl"

"I'm your girl" She gave him a small smile and dropped her head to press her lips against his "I've always been your girl"

They continued kissing for many more minutes, relishing in finally being together and safe as well, they didn't have to hide or be scared anymore. They were in love and wanted the whole world to see.

When Lisa knocked on the door to let them know she wanted to run something by Damon he asked Elena to stay in the office but she declined, wanting to give them privacy so Damon ruefully agreed to let her go, much to Lisa's amusement.

He arranged for her to get a table in the outside part of the restaurant next to the river and told every single one of his staff members to treat her only with the best attention. Elena smiled at seeing everything that Damon had built, how far he had come from that boy working at a diner so many years ago.

As she watched the water of the river flow she started wondering if she could call this place home. Elena had no idea what her plans were, what was going to happen with her and Damon, she had a life back in New York and couldn't just give it all up for him.

Or could she?

* * *

Later that day Damon was standing in the kitchen entrance, one hip pressed against the wall as he watched Elena move around. She had told him it was time she showed him what an amazing cook she had become over the years so dinner was on her. He had no idea what she was making but it smelled delicious, it smelled like home.

Damon felt like his heart could burst from too much happiness at any minute, seeing her there in the house he built for them was everything he always dreamed about, it was a vision he had wished for so long that it was almost unbelievable for it to be true at this moment.

He went to retrieve her camera and when he returned she was humming along to a tune as she placed a tray in the oven, he smiled and snapped a picture. "Hey, that's not fair" She turned around the minute she heard the camera.

"Why not? You look beautiful"

"I doubt it" She huffed, she was wearing the same clothes she had on in the morning and her bun had already turned into a messy one

"You always look beautiful"

"Now you're only trying to woo me Mr. Salvatore" He placed the camera on the counter and moved towards her

"Is it working?" He asked as he took her in his arms, her hand lacing behind his neck and his resting on her waist

"Maybe" She titled her head to the side and smiled at him. He nuzzled her nose with his and Elena let out a delighted laugh at the gesture "You're distracting me Mr. Salvatore"

"You're the distraction doll"

Elena laughed once again and released herself from his arms "Hey, that's not fair" He whined as she moved back to the stove.

"It is if you want to eat dinner"

"What is it that you're making?" He asked as he took a seat on one of the wooden kitchen chairs

"I am making Swedish meatballs and Iceberg wedge salad and a tunnel of fudge cake for dessert" She told him with a wide proud smile as she chopped a clove of garlic on the counter.

"Sounds fancy" He told her with a smile and she only shrugged.

Elena had developed a love for cooking over the last few years; it was an activity that helped her calm down and release stress. Caroline hated cooking so most of the times Elena cooked for both of them while Lizzie always helped her, so she owned a million cooking books and had learned to do hundreds of recipes.

"You're going to love it"

"I know I will"

The phone rang and brought them back from their delightful home bliss, Damon told her to keep working as he went to the parlor to answer the phone. Elena continued cooking but a lot of time passed without Damon returning and when she heard his raised voice she decided to go check on him to make sure everything was all right.

"Yes I know Stefan but there's got to be something more" Elena stood behind the stairs and watched as Damon gripped his head with one hand as if in despair "I've talked to them myself and got the same answer" He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall "No, she can't know that"

Elena felt a pressure starting to grow in her chest at his words "I know keeping it from her is not the best option but it's all I can do right now" Elena took a deep breath and went back to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible. She didn't want to hear anything else; afraid that whatever he was hiding could indeed break her. She wanted to hold onto her blissful ignorance for a bit more.

Damon returned to the kitchen a few minutes afterwards, he looked the same as he was before leaving, like he hadn't been in a heated argument with his brother minutes ago.

They spent the rest of the night eating and having fun like they had no care in the world but something was nagging Elena at the back of her mind, telling her that maybe trusting Damon had been a big mistake.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this. Leave me a review?**

 **P.S I know I used the title of an Elton John song for Damon's restaurant, I know the song came out years after but who knows maybe Elton stole it from Damon? lol**


	23. All your flaws and scars are mine

**WARNING: LONG AND EMBARASSING AUTHOR'S NOTE TO COME**

 **Happy TVD Friday everybody! *cries hysterically***

 **I just wanted to take a minute today to say thank you to everyone who has supported my writing, some of you have been with me since the beginning and some of you are new but you all mean the world to me.**

 **Today marks the end of the only TV show I've watched religiously since the beginning, I was a fifteen year old girl when it started and thanks to it I realized I had some stories to tell and decided to start writing, this show also allowed me to meet some amazing people, like all of you, and gave me some amazing moments.**

 **I hope that once this over we can all find a way to keep the fandom alive in this place like we kept Delena alive for the last two years, I would hate for it to stop being as active as it is right now.**

 **So the end is here folks! I hope we can all enjoy it today.**

 **Love you all.**

 **Sam**

* * *

Your heart got a story with mine

Your heart got me hurting at times  
Your heart gave me new kind of highs  
So what to do…Still falling for you

It took us a while  
'Cause we were young and unsure  
With love on the line  
What if we both would need more  
But all your flaws and scars are mine

 **-Ellie Goulding-**

.

.

Damon and Elena spent their first couple of days in North Carolina in complete bliss. He was up with the sun every day but refused to wake her up when she looked so peaceful snuggled up in bed; instead he prepared breakfast and stored it for her before going to check on the restaurant.

She arrived around ten and hanged around with him, his whole world brightened when she crossed the doors and his staff had already noticed. They couldn't stop giving him grief about how whipped he was and he didn't even care because the truth was that that girl had him wrapped around her little finger and there was no other place he wanted to be.

In the afternoons he would leave the restaurant and go with her to tour the town, they strolled in the lake shore and ate ice cream before he returned to the restaurant and she went back to the house to prepare dinner.

Everything was very domestic and Damon loved every minute of it, it was all very different from the way he had lived his life for the last few years, it was exactly the kind of life he had pictured for them back in the day when dreaming was still allowed. Damon was almost afraid to breathe in case it could shatter everything around him; he had never felt as happy and as scared at the same time.

"It smells delicious in here" He said with the biggest smile on his face as he crossed the threshold to their house. It was a Thursday night and her second week in his home.

"It always smells delicious when I'm in the kitchen" Her soft voice carried to him and he quickened his pace to the kitchen. He was momentarily stunned when he saw her working behind the counter with her pale pink dress and cream colored apron, her hair was in a ballerina bun with a few lose strands framing her face. She was a vision, and he felt like he was dreaming "Are you going to stand there all day or are you actually going to help?" She told him with a smirk, bringing him out of his day dream.

"You are beautiful" He told her breathlessly

Elena's smiled widened and she pointed at him with a wooden spoon "Compliments won't save you from kitchen duty mister"

"I wouldn't dream of it" He smirked and walked towards her "There's nothing else I would rather be doing" He took her in his arms and bended her as he placed a kiss on her lips

"You do know how to charm a girl Damon Salvatore" She told him breathlessly once he released her

"Only for you" He placed a kiss on her cheek before he started heading towards the living room "Don't think that I'm escaping" He shouted over his shoulder as he walked out of the kitchen. "I just want some music"

"I'll never let you escape" She answered, he smiled at himself and went to the huge radio he had placed in the corner of the living room, after moving it around he finally settled on a station he liked and went back to the kitchen.

They worked happily for the next few minutes, jabbing and joking with each other, having Elena there made everything better and Damon was unable to wipe the smile from his face. Over the years she had turned into a wonderful cook and Damon was always looking forward to her fancy dishes, he was sure there was nothing Elena Gilbert wasn't capable of doing.

A familiar tune started on the radio and Damon's lips formed a big smile as he moved closer to Elena "You're not going to escape from this one" Damon said and took her hand as "My girl" from the temptations carried on from the radio in the living room.

"I wouldn't dream of it" She answered with a smile as he dipped her and twirled her around the kitchen to the sound of the music.

"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day…With my girl" He sang to her as her hands laced themselves behind his neck and his settled on her waist as their energetic dance became rather slow.

"It feels like a dream" She told him, her voice quivering with emotion

"I know. But it's not" He kissed her deeply. Their hands found each other as dinner was forgotten and their hunger for each other grew. He carried her upstairs to the bedroom that they now shared and made love to her desperately, hands gripping, teeth biting, skin against skin. They couldn't get enough of each other, every kiss and every touch only seemed to ignite the fire inside them. They had spent too much time apart and wanted every minute wasted returned to them.

Later that night, after they returned to their dinner and had made love for another time, they lay on his big bed, the room in complete darkness except for the moonlight filtering through the lacy drapes, she finally asked something she had wanted to know ever since they reunited.

"What did you think when you thought about me back then?" Elena asked. They were both lying on their sides facing each other; Damon was tracing patterns across her naked shoulder but stopped when the question left her mouth. "It's all right Damon you can tell me" She said in a soft voice

"Honestly?" He looked at her and she nodded in response "My guess was that your parents had forced you to marry someone, probably that idiot Mason or maybe Matt, they always loved Matt. I always thought that you were raising our child with someone else"

"And yet I wasn't" She whispered and moved closer to him

Damon took a deep breath and asked something he had been dying to get out but hadn't because he was afraid of opening old scars for her "What was it like?" He said in a soft voice, his arm moved to her waist to move her body so half of it was resting on his.

"Lonely" She answered as she traced the faint hairs on his chest "I don't know what would have happened to me without Caroline" A small smile formed in her lips at remembering her friend "The things they said to us… they made us feel dirty. Shameful. Our children were nothing but a token of the disgrace we had brought into our family"

His arms tightened around her at hearing her words, there was nothing more Damon wanted than to erase all of the memories Elena had of that place. How he wished he could go back in time and save her from that cruel fate she had to endure.

"We had to work in one of the place's areas, Caroline and I were in laundry. The food was terrible, they never allowed us any sweet treats or stuff like that but my father used to send a box of donuts every month, undercover of course" A brief nostalgic smiled formed on her lips "We had to go to mass three times a week. There they would tell us more awful things… they were all very cruel and uncompassionate. They never told us anything about the pregnancy or what we should expect at the time of the delivery…only now I realize what barbaric that is"

"I'm sorry" He whispered, his voice echoing in the silence of the dark room.

"There was one nun, Sister Evelyn; she was the kindest soul in that awful place. I will always remember her sweetness and how good she was to me" Damon's hand stroked up and down her back, his touch comforting her, letting her know he was here and she was no longer in that cold and lonely place by herself. "I've never felt more alone than when I was in that place. I cried myself to sleep many nights… I-"She stopped talking and instead placed a soft kiss onto his chest

"You can tell me anything doll" He placed a hand under her chin and forced her to meet his stare when he realized there was something she didn't want to tell him.

"It's not fair to say these things to you because I know it wasn't your fault" She lowered her gaze and moved so her head was resting in the crook of his neck, her breath caressing his skin in the sweetest of ways

"Tell me darling"

"I wanted nothing more than for you to be there, every time I cried at night I wanted to be you the one who comforted me"

His heart squeezed at her words, even if it wasn't his fault there wasn't a day when Damon didn't blame himself for not being with her when she needed him the most, he hated that she had to endure that but most of all, he hated that she had to do it alone.

"When she was born I wanted for you to be there and be happy with me and when they took her away I wanted you there to tell me it was going to be okay" Her voice broke down and she buried her face against his neck.

"I'm here now darling" He whispered against her forehead.

Their child, how much Damon had wanted that baby. How much he had longed for the chance of holding her and watching her grow. He had pictured it all, Elena with a swollen belly dancing with him in front of the fireplace and afterwards singing sweet lullabies to their child.

That life he had dreamed of but that never came to be.

"I'm not letting you go this time"

"I know my love" She told him before placing a kiss onto his jaw "I know you won't ever leave me again" She stretched her hand to his and laced their fingers together.

"I love you doll" He kissed their joined hands

"I love you too" She whispered before closing her eyes and letting the steady beat of his heart lull her to sleep.

He was going to fix this Damon swore to himself. He was going to erase every bad memory Elena had and he was going to heal her pain, it didn't matter how hard the situation seemed at the moment, he was going to find their daughter and make everything right.

* * *

The blissful bubble they had been living in shattered the next day when Elena's former friend and now Damon's best friend arrived in town.

Elena had been shocked to see her standing on the porch in a grey jumper dress, a pair of Mary Jane's and glamorous curls on her hair. She barely resembled the girl she had known once upon a time, Bonnie looked at her as well, as if evaluating her. The surprise on her face had seemed even bigger than Elena's and even a hint of sadness had appeared in her eyes.

They stood on the entrance for more than a few awkward minutes, both of them not knowing what to say until Damon had appeared and greeted Bonnie with evident joy, the girl's eyes lit up when she saw him and when he hugged her she clung onto him more tightly than Elena would have liked. She hated that feeling in the pit of her stomach, jealousy. It had been so long since she had experienced it that it took her by surprise with its force.

Damon explained that they were on their way to the restaurant and that she should come with them so they could catch up, of course after he put her things in the guest bedroom where she would be staying. Damon seemed oblivious to the tension between the two women and Elena almost wanted to smile because of it, he was a very clever man but for some things Damon was completely clueless.

Damon and Bonnie excitedly chatted the whole way to the restaurant, making Elena's bad mood only grow with every passing minute. It was hitting her then that Bonnie knew Damon more than she knew him herself. She had been with him through some of the best moments of his life while she was away in New York; Bonnie had taken her place after being the first one to judge him back in the day.

When Damon excused himself to attend some matters with Lisa in the office Elena and Bonnie stayed in the table staring at each other without saying anything for a few seconds. What was there to say Elena thought as she picked her food.

"I'm sorry Elena" Bonnie's voice came in a soft whisper

"Excuse me?"

"For what happened back then" The other girl told her and Elena could see that true regret was in her eyes.

"It's all right Bonnie; it was a long time ago" Elena lied, the truth was that she had thought she had forgiven Bonnie but seeing her again had made old wounds surface. Bonnie had been her best friend since they were children only to be the first one to try to burst her dreams.

"I know but I still want to say I'm sorry" Her former best friend looked at her straight in the eye "I was another person back than Elena, I was blind and too concerned with what other people thought and the ways of the world"

"But you're not anymore?" Elena questioned

"No" Bonnie shook her head with a small smile "I've changed and I see things clearly now. And trust me, there hasn't been a day since I told you all of those things that I won't regret it, I should have supported you and not pushed you away when you needed me the most"

Elena nodded absently, her mind wandering briefly to that sad day. A day that seemed a part of another life completely "And ironically you ended up befriending Damon" She said with a bit more harshness than she intended but Bonnie seemed oblivious to it.

"Yes" She nodded and a dreamy smile appeared on her face "Who would have thought right? But he ended up being so much more than what I expected; I finally understood how wrong I had been back then"

"Of course" Elena answered absently as she watched Damon approach them again. "How strange life is right?"

Damon took a seat next to her once again and looked at them expectantly "So, it's all good?" Elena smiled in spite of herself and nodded

"Yes, everything's good" She laced her hand in his while casting Bonnie a side glance as she pressed a kiss onto Damon's cheek. She hated the part of herself that made her do it and blamed it completely on having spent too much time with eager and ambitious ballerinas.

The rest of their meal continued pretty much as before with Bonnie and Damon catching up and reminiscing about their fun days. They talked about a time when Stefan and Damon sneaked into a rock concert and when the three of them went to a club where they did go-go danced. and Elena was feeling the need to throw up every five seconds.

When they arrived at the house Elena excused herself by saying she was tired and went to bed way too early. She couldn't shut her mind and stop the nasty thoughts from swirling in her brain. In that moment she hated Bonnie, she hated her for being where she was supposed to be for the last ten years, she hated her for judging Damon and then walking into his life like nothing ever happened and she knew there was no reason to feel that way, it was not Bonnie's fault, none of what happened was her fault but she couldn't help feeling that way.

Her thoughts went back to the phone call she heard Damon having a few days ago, he was hiding something from her. He didn't trust her enough to let her know… but she had to trust him?

She hated the entire situation they were in and all the time that was wasted being apart from each other. She was so angry and tired, so Elena went to sleep that night with a very strong headache and a much bigger ache in her heart.

She woke up a few hours afterwards; the restlessness she was feeling made her unable to have a calm sleep. The room was in complete darkness and there was no sound but the steady rise and fall of the man sleeping next to her. Elena stayed still in the bed for a few minutes, staring at what she could see of him in the darkness, he looked so peaceful and calm, she almost touched him but decided against it; instead she threw on her robe and walked out of the room as quietly as she could.

Elena went to the back porch and stood there looking out into the vast river extending before her; her hip was against one of the columns and her arms were crossed against her chest. To her left she could see lights on in Lisa's house and wondered what could the elderly woman be doing at this time of night?

Elena let the air caress her skin and move her floor length robe as her thoughts drifted back to the man lying on the bed inside. To the only man she had ever loved, to the one man who had the ability to break her heart. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't hear him and only felt him when he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind "What are you doing here?" He asked against her ear

"Thinking" Was her only response

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong"

"Even if you want to believe differently, I know you Elena" His arms tightened around her "Something is swirling in that little head of yours"

"What if this is a mistake Damon" She whispered, her words heavy in the quietness of the night. "What if our time already passed and this is us just holding onto the past?"

"What?" He released her and forced her to turn so he could look at her "Where is this coming from?"

"It's just… we're not the same people we were back then. The Damon and Elena from ten years ago might be able to make it work but us? Can we make it work?" She grew agitated with each word she spoke "I have a life back in New York, a job; I can't just throw it all away. And seeing you with Bonnie today made me realize how much I don't really know you"

His hands cupped her cheeks and his eyes looked at her with a frantic desperation "We've changed, that's right. But the Damon I am now loves you as much as the Damon from ten years ago did. I know you have a job and a life and I'm not saying I have it all figured it out Elena but give it time, give me some time and I'll find a solution for everything" She started shaking her head but he gripped her more tightly "And Bonnie might know things about me because we've seen each other over the years Elena but she doesn't know me, not like you do, nobody knows me the way you do"

"Damon I-"Elena took a deep breath and tried to still her racing heart "Don't you think you might be better with someone like her? Someone who doesn't carry all of the emotional baggage I do"

"Where is this coming from?" he asked her "Elena, I have no romantic feelings towards her, not now, not ever. You're the only girl I've ever loved, the only one"

"It's just I don't know if we'll be able to make this work"

"No, no, no" He took her by the shoulders and pressed her to his chest, her hands instantly going towards his back to hold him "You can't leave again Elena, I won't survive it" He told her with a desperation she had never seen on him before "I can't lose you again"

"It's okay Damon, I'm not going anywhere" She told him in a shooting manner, her hands going up and down his back as she pressed a kiss onto his clothed chest "It's just that I get scared sometimes"

"Then talk to me" He whispered against her hair "If you're scared and in doubt talk to me, don't shut me out"

She broke apart from his embrace and stared at him, the lapis lazuli eyes she loved so much were sad and no longer had the brightness she saw in them in the morning and Elena hated knowing that she was the one responsible for it "I love you"

"I love you too" He caressed her cheek with his knuckles "You'll always be the only girl in my life doll, always" Elena nodded and smiled slightly before burrowing herself in his arms once again. They stayed like that for a few minutes, rocking themselves slowly as the wind rustled the trees and caressed their skin. "Let's go to bed" He told her when he felt her starting to drift off in his arms.

He was not going to let her go again and if he had to spend every day for the rest of his life reassuring her he would do it.

* * *

 **REVIEW?**


	24. Beautiful Chaos

**Hey guys new chapter!**

 **TVD is over now (still crying inside) like I mentioned before feel free to message me to talk about it. Aaaand this story is coming to an end too; we only have one more chapter after this and then the epilogue, so I'm really hoping you like this one.**

 **Huge thanks to everyone still reading and to Lorena for being an awesome beta with this.**

 **P.S I started a new story and I was still deciding whether to publish it or not but like it seems I'm not ready to let Delena go I'm going to go with it and I want to ask a huge favor of you. As you may or may not know English is not my birth language so I really need a beta for this one, if any of you would like or know of someone who would like to help me out please let me know.**

 **Love,**

 **Sam**

* * *

"Your gorgeous chaos was a danger to my beautiful ordinary life, and I knew that. Then suddenly, we became extraordinary together"

 **R.M Drake**

 **.**

 **.**

Elena leaned down onto the kitchen counter as she scribbled the ingredients she would need in her little notebook. They were short on groceries and she would need some new things for dinner tonight so she thought of going to the store after she visited Damon in the restaurant.

"Good morning" She heard Bonnie's voice behind her and she straightened up to greet her former friend.

"Good morning" Elea said with a genuine smile "There's breakfast in there" She motioned to the covered dishes on the table.

"Thank you" The girl answered and moved towards the table "What are you doing?" She asked when Elena went back to her task of grocery listing

"I'm just jotting down the ingredients I need for tonight's dinner" Elena answered nonchalantly, too engrossed in her task to pay attention to the other girl.

"I hope you don't plan on doing something with red peppers. Damon developed a phobia after an incident with Stefan in Atlanta" Her tone was casual enough but Elena detected a hint of something else that made her stop her pencil midair "Of course you wouldn't know that but just make sure not to include it" Bonnie shrugged and started digging into the pancakes Elena had prepared this morning.

Elena took a deep breath, forcing her temper to cool before answering. She had been having jealous feelings over Bonnie the last few days, forcing her to be maybe not as welcoming as she was supposed to but she thought they were past that now. Clearly Bonnie thought differently because that last comment had been too intentional to be casual.

"Is there something you want to say to me Bonnie?" Elena asked as she pinned the girl in her spot with hard eyes, Bonnie looked like a deer caught in the headlights and Elena realized that her former friend hadn't realized she had changed as well and was no longer that innocent little girl someone could fool and she would be dammed if she let her make that kind of comment in front of her.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me" Elena dropped her pencil on top of the notebook and went around the counter "You have feelings for him right?" She walked towards the table and took a seat in front of the other woman. "You feel something for Damon that is more than friendship"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Bonnie averted her gaze and started cutting another piece of pancake

"Oh please Bonnie, let's just cut the formalities" Elena said with annoyance "You have feelings for him and hoped your friendship would develop into something else, which is why you hate so much that I'm back"

Bonnie stayed in silence and looking everywhere else but her friend's eyes, Elena almost wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. The girl who once had told her being with Damon was the worst thing that could happen to her was now head over heels in love with him.

"Fine, you're right" Bonnie finally said while raising her eyes and meeting Elena's "Somewhere along the line I developed feelings for him and yes, maybe a small part of me hoped for something else but I'm not a fool enough to believe it could actually happen" Her hand was gripping the fork too tightly as her eyes turned hard "Because there would never be another girl for Damon but you. I don't think he's even realized what I feel for him because his mind can't even think of another woman that way because of you." Bonnie nearly shouted, surprising Elena who stared at her without saying a word. The other woman took a deep breath and composed herself before continuing "And yes, a part of me resents you because I've never had that, I've never had a man be so devoted to me as he is to you and now that I realize how wonderful Damon is I know that there must not be anything more wonderful in the world than being the girl he loves"

Elena stared at her former friend without knowing what to say, she realized Bonnie had feelings for Damon the minute she hugged him when she first arrived but never expected for her to confess it and be so open and honest with her.

"But that doesn't mean I'm not sorry about what happened between us Elena" Bonnie said in a much softer tone "We've known each other since we were little and I hated how things ended between us"

"I know, I hate it too" Elena answered honestly

"I would like for us to be friends again, regardless of what I feel for Damon. I won't ever come between you two Elena. I know how useless that would be, there's no other woman for Damon but you" Bonnie's expression was sad and Elena couldn't help but feel a little bit bad for her "I know things won't ever be the same as before between us but I would like to try"

Elena remained silent for a few minutes; so much had changed in her life in a span of months and it dawned on her in that moment that she didn't want to carry old grudges around. She and Bonnie were never going to be the best friends they were before but what was the point of being resentful and angry towards her? It was clear that the other woman knew that there was never going to be a chance for her and Damon so there was no reason to keep this feud between them. "I will like that too Bonnie" Elena answered finally.

They remained in the kitchen talking about trivialities for a few more minutes, the air was still thick around them and an uncomfortable feeling lay between them but they didn't let them stop them. They were trying and everything took time and effort.

Bonnie told her she was leaving because she felt she and Damon should have time to be alone with each other and she had intruded enough already. Elena wondered if maybe she should stop her but decided not to do anything because the truth was that she did want to have alone time with Damon.

Bonnie said she would go and say goodbye to Damon at the restaurant and Elena decided to head towards the store to give them some privacy and alone time, she was after all his best friend and he deserved to spend time with her. So there on the wide porch of the house in front of the river Bonnie and Elena said goodbye once again but this time knowing they would meet each other again, this time no one was shouting and there was no resentment of bitter feelings. Just two people who used to be best friends acknowledging the fact that sometimes there are things you can't fix completely but that doesn't mean they have to stay broken.

After her final goodbye with Bonnie Elena went to the store to retrieve everything she was going to need for dinner, dropped everything off at the house and then headed to the restaurant to see if she could spend some time with Damon. There was no denying that Wilmington was a beautiful place, it reminded her a lot of Mystic Falls but with less gossip and judgment, maybe it wasn't the place but the time they were on, or maybe it was the fact that in these people's eyes she hadn't done anything wrong.

Once she reached Damon's restaurant she spotted him working behind the bar and stayed a few minutes outside in the street watching him work. The way he moved and talked exuded confidence, Damon had always been that way even though deep inside he was a scared little boy sometimes, but there was something in his movements that hadn't been there before. He looked at peace, comfortable with where he was, not an outsider like he had been so many years ago.

"Excuse me?" A voice made her tear her eyes away from Damon "Could I take your picture?" A young looking man asked her while holding a big camera in his hand. "I saw you in a show a few weeks ago where my cousin danced and I wondered…" He trailed off with a small smile.

He had longish light brown hair and soft eyes, he seemed really nice and Elena liked him immediately "Of course" She agreed with a smile, even though she was a back dancer she was used to these kinds of things back in New York.

She was wearing a yellow mini shift dress and a pair of flat white sneakers and her hair was now blowing in the wind as she posed for the picture with her back to the river.

"Thank you" The boy said with a crooked smile

"You're welcome" Elena answered "You said your cousin danced on the show?"

"Yes" He nodded eagerly "His name is Liam"

"Really? Elena asked in surprise "How small the world really is, he and I are friends"

The boy was about to answer when Damon's voice made them turn around to the restaurant entrance from where he was coming from. "Trevor, nice to see you" He said with a tight smile

"You too Damon" The boy said, looking very nervous before turning to Elena and saying goodbye and scurrying away.

"What was that about?" Elena gave Damon a questioning look

"He's a nice boy" Damon answered as he watched the boy walking away "But he shouldn't be taking pictures of you"

"Oh Damon" Elena sighed and rolled her eyes and was about to tease him when she saw his clenched jaw and his blue eyes cold as steel as he looked at the boy "That can't really bother you?"

"It does" He moved closer and took her in his arms "I know you're beautiful and that your job might include these sort of things but I don't like them coveting what is not theirs"

Elena smiled in spite of herself and placed her hands on his chest "And who do I belong to? I'm I an object?" She faked indignation as she dug her nails a little into his chest.

His bad mood seemed to have gone missing as he smirked at her and nuzzled his nose with hers "Of course not but you're my girl. Only mine"

"Of course I am darling" She stepped onto her tippy toes and kissed his lips softly. His arms went around her waist and he held her to him in front of his restaurant as people walked by them.

"I hope they all realize it soon enough"

"Damon" Elena laughed while throwing her head back and looking at him with amusement.

"I can see them staring at you" He half growled "I can understand them because it's hard not to look at you but I don't like it, not one bit"

"You're overreacting darling" She told him playfully while lacing her fingers behind his neck and caressing his nape softly "I am only yours and they know it" She faked annoyance but deep down she knew that Damon being this jealous gave her a thrill she was ashamed of admitting.

"Let's go inside doll" He said, releasing her but taking her hand between his and walking towards the restaurant. Elena went all the way with the biggest smile on her face, feeling happier than she had ever been before.

Later that same day Damon was alone in the living room going through some bills while Elena took a bath when the phone rang. He stood up and went to answer it, his mind still on the papers scattered around the table so he didn't give much thought to the call, however, the first words that were uttered managed to rob him of his breath.

"We found her" The voice belonged to the one and only, Caroline Forbes, and Damon knew exactly who she was referring to.

"Where?" That was the only word that left his mouth as he stood frozen with the phone on his ear; he couldn't believe this was happening. Damon had hoped it would but never imagined they would succeed so soon.

"Georgia"

"You sure?"

"Yes, Damon, of course, I wouldn't call you if I wasn't sure" The voice of the blonde girl sounded exasperated and his brother could be heard in the background.

"I know Caroline but this is my daughter we're talking about so I want to know for sure. You certain this is her?" His voice wobbled with emotion and tears threatened to spill from his eyes, his heart was out of control in his chest and he had no idea how to calm it down.

"Yes Damon, I am positive" Caroline said more softly now "Everything fits, we know for sure that this is your daughter" Damon gripped the phone more tightly and leaned his forehead against the wall.

"My daughter Caroline…"

Damon had no idea what they were supposed to do now, could they just march into the child's house and ask to see her, he had no idea what they were supposed to do but knew they couldn't stay sitting doing nothing. He would have to come clean with Elena so they could finally go to their daughter.

"I know Damon"

"She is my daughter Caroline"

"What have you done?" His head snapped back at the accusing voice of Elena and even the blonde girl on the other side of the phone remained silent.

"I'll call you back" Damon closed his eyes in pain briefly and hung up the phone before turning around to find Elena's reproachful glance. Her eyes were glistening with tears but the set of her jaw and the way her hands were clenching and unclenching at her sides told him she wasn't going to let him see a single tear.

"You have been lying to me Damon" She got out each word slowly

"Elena I-"

"No" She raised her hand in front of her to stop him "I don't want to hear a word of what you have to say. You saw where the lies of the people took us and now you're the one throwing them at my face" Her voice broke down and he walked a step closer but stopped when she moved back.

"I didn't want for you to get your hopes up in case it didn't work" He told her gently. His blue eyes pleading for her to understand his reasoning.

"So the best option was to just keep things from me?" She spat at him "And not only you but my best friend lied to me as well" She shook her head as she eyed him with disgust "I can't believe you would do something like that to me" She turned around and walked out of the room.

Damon cursed and followed her immediately "Elena you need to understand; I know you've been through a lot. All of the pain you endured" As she continued walking down the aisle he realized she wasn't going to stop so he moved faster and took a hold of her arm, forcing her to turn around and face him "I wanted to look for our daughter but I didn't want you to suffer any more in case I couldn't find her but I did Elena, I found her"

Elena closed her eyes in pain and breathed deeply to stop the tears from coming "It doesn't matter Damon"

"Of course it matters"

"She's not ours to keep anymore" She shouted at him

"How can you say that?" He bit out, her words slicing through his heart.

Her eyes were looking anywhere but him so he cupped her face with his hands and forced her to look at him "I know how much pain you're still in but-"

"She's not ours to keep because I let them take her away" Her voice broke down as the tears finally started to fall "I wanted to be strong" She cried "When they took her away… I felt like I was going to die" She fisted her hands in his shirt "I watched them walk away with her and there was nothing I could do to stop them"

"It's okay darling"

"No it's not, Damon" He took her in his arms and she started sobbing against his shirt "I let it happen, I let them take her"

Not a day went by where Elena didn't blame herself for what happened with her daughter. Every time she saw Caroline with Lizzie she thought that could be her if she had been strong enough. She felt ashamed for being so weak and letting them rip her away from her arms, because once she really thought about it there was no one to blame but herself. There was never a gun pointed to her head forcing her to give her up, that had been her decision and it had been the wrong one.

"You couldn't have done anything" He murmured into her ear while stroking her hair softly "You were a child Elena"

"But I knew better" Now that the tears were flowing easily there was no way she could stop them.

"No, darling look at me" He moved her so he could stare into her face. Her nose was red and her eyes were swollen, the sight was enough to break Damon's heart "You were a child, they knew better. They knew you wanted to keep her but decided to give their backs to you. They knew I was going to support you, that we were going to be a family and they ripped you away from me. Everything is on them, not you. Nothing is your fault, my love"

"But Damon-"

"Stop blaming yourself Elena" He moved so their foreheads were pressed together, tears falling from his eyes now as he let go of everything he had been carrying around for the last decade "You need to stop blaming yourself just like I need to stop blaming myself too"

"You have nothing to blame yourself for Damon" She told him "They put you in prison, you didn't know. There was nothing you could have done"

"Every day since the day we were supposed to run away together I've been thinking about you waiting for me in that dance academy, Elena" She took a deep breath as the pressure inside of her chest grew, that day had been the worst day of her life and the pain from it was still raw in her soul. "I thought that if I had been more careful or if I had done things differently… but it's useless"

She looked at him and stroked his tear stained cheeks with her hands "What happened, happened doll and there's nothing we can do to change it. You have no idea how many nights I've laid awake at night wishing I could go back to a certain day when we were happy but I couldn't" Their faces were so close that their breaths mingled when he spoke "We only have the present and what we can do with it. So we just have to stop living in the past"

"I don't know how to do that" Her voice sounded so tiny and broken and he wanted to do nothing but hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

"Just let go darling" He said, their lips almost touching "Forgive me and forgive yourself and just let it all go"

"I don't know if I can"

"I'm going to help you" He stroked her hair and pulled her into him once again, her head resting above his chest "We're going to help each other, how about that?"

"I like that idea" She answered as she let herself be comforted by him. By his words and his touches, the only one who could ever make her feel better by simply being around her. "What are we going to do now?" Elena asked him.

She didn't know what people normally did in situations like this. Could they simply show up with their daughter's new parents and ask to see her, she didn't think so but didn't want to dwell on it too much for now.

Damon knew where their daughter was and that was the most important thing. She was closer to her than she had ever been before and she had him by his side to face it all.

"We will do whatever you want to do"

They stayed in the hallway embracing each other for what felt like forever. Elena knew they still had a long road ahead of them, she still had a long road of forgiveness and redemption but they had given the first step already.

She had to learn to let go and accept things she couldn't change, she was sure that having him by her side would make everything easier because Damon had always been her strength, her passion, the one thing that could help her keep going.


	25. I'll be missing you

**So, the final chapter is here! In honor of TVD Friday *sighs* can't believe there's no more Damon on my screen. I want to thank all of you who took the time to read and review this story; your words always brighten my day. I also want to thank Lorena because she's been an amazing beta for this story.**

 **I really hope you enjoy this chapter and please wait for the epilogue; I'll manage to update it in a few days.**

 **It's been one hell of a ride guys and it's been my pleasure to share it with all of you.**

 **Love,**

 **Sam**

* * *

"Maybe one day we'll find that place where you and I could be together. And we'll catch our dreams with the waves of change. So smile for me one last time and believe that we'll meet again. Until then, I'll be missing you"

 **R.M Drake**

 **.**

 **.**

Elena's hands were shaking. It was a hot morning in Atlanta and she could feel the sweat trailing down her back while she sat in the car with her back pressed into the seat. The fabric of her pale pink dress felt too tight against her skin and she was sure it would rob her of her breath at any minute.

"Just breathe" Damon whispered, his voice echoing in the silent car as he extended his hand and gripped both of hers between his, forcing them to stop shaking. "You just need to breathe" He was trying to be the picture of calmness but Elena knew him too well to know he was as anxious as her.

After a whole week of debating on what they were supposed to do they decided to drive to Georgia and go to the direction Caroline and Stefan had told them was the house of their daughter, her blonde friend had managed to contact Sister Evelyn who told them she managed the adoption personally because she wanted only the best family for Elena's daughter.

They had no plan in mind and no idea of what they were going to say to their child's family but they guessed no one really knew what to do in a situation like this.

"Tell me again" She said, her voice wobbling with emotion.

"Her name is not listed but her adoptive parent's are" Damon spoke calmly "A renowned college history teacher named Alaric Saltzman and a stay at home mom named Jenna Summers. They have another younger child, also adopted and they are a catholic family"

"They seem like good people right?" Elena asked softly as she looked at the house. It was located in one of the best neighborhoods in Atlanta and was a big two story Victorian house with white walls and a big yard, and they were currently parked in front of it

"From what it says here, yes. They are a respected family from the community, that's why Sister Evelyn chose them. Everyone only has nice things to say about them"

Elena nodded; she had to believe they were good people. She had to believe that her daughter had the life she would never be able to give her before and that her childhood had been a happy one.

"You want to go and knock?" Damon told her in a whisper, his hand gripping hers more tightly.

"Just a minute more" Elena took a small deep breath as he had told her to, trying to calm her racing heart. She was ten seconds from telling him she was ready when the front door opened and a small child of around five years came out running, his hair was sandy blond and he had a big toothy grin on his face.

"Elena…" Damon choked out as a little girl came out of the house chasing the boy. Her hair was long, straight and dark as the night. She had a little dimple on her left cheek and the brightest blue eyes framed by thick lashes. Neither of them needed to look twice to know who she was.

"Oh my God" Elena whispered as she covered her mouth with one of her hands, her eyes glistening with tears. There were no words in the English language that could describe what she was feeling after seeing her little one for the first time in so long. If she closed her eyes she could still remember that day when she had held her against her chest and breathed in her baby scent.

But she was no longer that baby and she was no longer hers. Elena's heart broke all over again as she stared at the elder blonde man and petite woman walking out of the house, he took the girl's body into his big arms and swung her around as she laughed without a care in the world. The woman, Jenna, looked at them adoringly before turning her attention to the little boy running towards them. Soon, they all started chasing each other through the yard while they laughed joyously.

"She looks like me" Damon said in a broken sob and Elena could no longer contain her own tears. She broke down right there as a happy family played obliviously in front of them.

Damon held her as his own tears mixed with hers, she clung to him as a pain like never before sliced through her. In that moment she hated her mother more than ever, she hated her for robbing her of the chance of watching her child grow. She hated the world and the injustices it brought. She hated people's prejudice and judgement and the pain and loneliness that led her to the biggest mistake of her life.

Elena felt like she was dying, it was like losing her baby all over again but this time Damon was here to comfort her.

"She looks happy" She said between sobs, her face was buried against his chest and he traced small patterns on her back.

"Yes, she does" He said softly as he watched the scene in front of him; the one thing he had ever wanted but someone had taken away from him.

Elena turned her face around and stared at the family playing in front of them, she could hear her daughter's giggles as her mom tickled her on the grass, her eyes shining with pure happiness. Elena's head still rested on Damon's chest as a realization finally dawned on her "We can't do this to her"

"I know" He answered with another sob climbing up his throat.

They both realized in that moment that the greatest act of love you can do for someone is to allow them to be happy even when your heart is breaking. That the happiness of their daughter meant more to them than their own, that they couldn't be selfish and rob her of the family and the life she had only known.

That because they loved her, they had to let her go and be happy, even if it wasn't with them.

"She is so beautiful" Damon whispered in awe as he watched his daughter with rapt attention.

"She is" Elena breathed deeply and moved to rest fully in her seat again "We should go"

"Just one more minute" He whispered as his hands now gripped the steering wheel, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. They stayed for a few minutes more watching the lovely scene in front of them before he started the engine and took them away from the one perfect thing they had done together.

As they drove away Elena gripped the small baby bracelet that had been resting on her lap and prayed to the Virgin, asking her to always protect and care for her daughter like she couldn't do herself.

* * *

When they arrived back to North Carolina after way too many hours in the car their mood still hadn't improved, they had remained silent almost the entire time, both of them mourning in their own way and yet his hand never released hers.

Caroline and Stefan were both waiting for them when they returned to the house, they had wanted to come and offer moral support in case things didn't work out and they needed only one glimpse of their defeated faces to know that had been the case.

Elena and Damon shared a look in the foyer and both understood that they needed time to process everything so he went to his home office with Stefan while she headed into the bedroom with Caroline.

"Elena… what happened?" The blonde girl asked in an unsure voice when they reached the room and Elena still hadn't uttered a word.

"She has a life Caroline, she is happy" Elena answered sadly "You should have seen her little face lit up with delight. She is so beautiful" A small smile tugged at her lips as a faraway look appeared in her eyes "I'm glad she's happy"

"But you can't tear her world down" Her friend whispered

"Exactly" Elena lay down on the bed with her hands still gripping the small bracelet, her knees curled next to her chest as tears gathered in her eyes once again "One would think I shouldn't have any tears left" She said more to herself than to her friend who didn't answer and instead stroked her hair softly while the tears fell freely down her cheeks.

Elena had thought about her daughter many times over the years, she had always wondered how she looked like, who were her parents. It was the most torturous feeling in the world, walking down the street thinking she could be anywhere, wondering if they had already met or crossed ways. It was walking and thinking that she could be any little girl in her path and now she knew where she was and who her parents were. She knew where her baby girl was but could do nothing to keep her, she had to give her up once again and the feeling was heart shattering.

A few minutes afterwards the bedroom door opened once again and Lizzie walked in with a sad expression on her face, without saying anything she removed her shoes and climbed into the bed next to her, she placed a hand on Elena's cheek and whispered "I'm so sorry auntie Ellie" Elena sucked in a breath as she stared at the face of her niece "I'm sorry you lost your daughter"

Elena broke down in full sobs as Lizzie hugged her, she could hear Caroline sniffing as well and that only made her cry harder. "But she knows you love her and one day you'll met each other again" Lizzie whispered against Elena's ear "You'll see" she gripped her niece's little body tightly as she cried and let all the pain and shame wash away.

On another side of the house Damon was breaking down as well; he was trashing his home office as he let the tears fall and the guilt and pain of the past few years finally surface. "She was so close, so close Stefan"

"I know brother" Stefan answered simply, he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed on top of his chest. He knew there was no use in stopping Damon; he had to let him work out of all of those feelings inside. "And I wanted her, I wanted her so badly" He kicked a chair and then let himself fall back into the couch placed against the wall

"But she was happy…"

"How could I tear down her world like that?" Damon asked "She's just a kid and she's happy, she deserves to be happy" He buried his face between his hands and started crying freely "She is my daughter, Stefan, and she is so perfect"

Stefan moved towards the couch and sat next to him "I'm sorry, Damon"

"The only one thing I ever did, the most precious thing I ever did" He was full on sobbing now, his brother hugged him and moved him until his head was resting on his lap "And they took her away from us, she is gone"

"It's going to be all right Damon" Stefan rubbed his brother's back as he cried freely, just like he had done with him so many times before when they're children. Stefan had always been the one who needed comfort, the one in need of something; Damon always made himself appear strong and tough but now he was truly breaking down.

"It hurts too much" Damon cried. Seeing her had been an eye opener to him, it had made everything so much more real to him. He had a daughter, someone out there who resembled him and carried a part of him. Someone he wanted to hold and kiss goodnight, who he wanted to sing to and rock to sleep.

" _What song is that daddy?" She would ask_

" _It's an old Italian lullaby" He would answer softly while stroking her dark hair._

" _And how do you know it?" She would tell him and look at him with curious eyes_

" _Because your grandmother sang it to us every night" He would answer and kiss her on the forehead before continuing the song while Elena stood in the doorway looking at them with adoring eyes._

But instead he would go to sleep every night knowing another man was singing lullabies to his daughter, or at least he hoped he was and praying to God to be good to her and always keep her safe and happy.

But he would always be her father, even if she didn't know about it. She was his daughter and nothing in the world could change that fact, she was a part of him and a part of Elena and she would always be.

"I'm here for you Damon, always" Stefan kept murmuring soft words while he cried and let all the pain and guilt wash away, freeing himself as much as he could of everything he had carried over the years.

* * *

Everything seemed to be a little bit better the next day, the image of their daughter running around was going to be in their memories forever but they had accepted there was nothing they could do but keep going with their lives with the hope that one day destiny could find a way to bring them back together. Stefan, Caroline and Lizzie had been so helpful, having them around eased something for Damon and Elena; being surrounded by the people who love you is always a good way to start healing.

They were currently gathered on Damon's dining table. Caroline had suggested that all of them have a big dinner like a family and she, Lizzie and Elena had spent the entire morning cooking; something Elena was incredible grateful for because it helped her keep her mind off things she didn't want to think about.

"This looks amazing" Stefan said in appreciation while he looked at the fancy arrangement the girls had made with the food on the table.

"Just wait until you taste it" Damon told his brother while he winked at Elena, there was no secret that he had fallen in love with her cooking over the last few days.

"We should say grace before we start" Caroline whispered once they were all seated at the table. Stefan and Damon exchanged a funny look; they generally never had dinner like this so they weren't used to it.

"I want to say it" Lizzie said excitedly

"Go ahead sweetie" Elena smiled at Lizzie.

The little girl placed her hands together in front of her, followed by everyone on the table and started talking with a smile on her face "Dear God, I want to thank you because we are all here together and we are healthy, we also want to thank you for all the food you gave us and because auntie Ellie did most of the cooking and not mommy"

"Hey!" Caroline said, pretending to be offended while the rest of the table couldn't help but chuckle at the kid's words

"I also want to say thank you because mommy's boyfriend is really cute and very kind" Lizzie looked at Stefan with a toothy grin and he returned it wholeheartedly "And finally I want to say thank you because Auntie Ellie chose Damon, the Prince, and not Liam who had a funny face. Amen"

"Lizzie!" Elena chuckled

"I wouldn't have said it better" Damon said with a smirk before ruffling Lizzie's hair and winking at Elena.

"I have no idea where she got that personality" Caroline said with a small smile before starting to serve food on her plate.

"Really?" Stefan looked at her with a raised eye brow and more love anyone could ever ask for "I'll remind you next time you start being cheeky" Caroline smiled brightly at him before focusing back on her food.

"What does cheeky mean?" Lizzie asked Stefan who started explaining it to her with as much patience and adoration a father can have with his child. Elena realized in that moment that Lizzie was becoming Stefan's child like her own daughter had become those people's daughter.

Damon caught her eye and smiled sadly at her before returning his attention back to the other three people in the table. As the minutes went by they ate and laughed, they shared stories and told jokes and Damon and Elena understood that the pain of losing their daughter was never going to go away but with time it was going to heal. They realized that they had a family here with thess people and that they were going to make it keep growing.

They accepted the fact that life could be cruel and hard and painful but that it could also be beautiful and filled with wonderful moments. When his lapis lazuli eyes met hers across the table once again Elena knew that everything was going to be okay because he was here with her and together they would find a way to make it work. Life had thrown them the worse cards someone could get but somehow amidst all the chaos they had found their way back to each other.

And that was the only hope she needed.

Later that night once their guests were soundlessly sleeping in their bedrooms Damon and Elena were sitting on the porch steps watching the wind rustling the trees. She was one step below him and was resting between his legs while he caressed her hair softly.

They were in complete silence with only the night sounds accompanying them "What are you thinking about?" He asked after a while

"I'm praying" She whispered "I'm praying for her and for us" Damon felt his throat clogging with emotion so he remained in silence, his arms tightening around her slender frame, his face buried in her hair "What are we going to do?" Elena asked after a few more silent minutes.

"About what?" He answered in confusion

"About everything" She sighed and leaned back further so she could stare into his face, her head resting in the crook of his elbows "I have a job back in NYC and you have a life here"

"I know" He nodded "And truth be told Elena, I have no idea of how are we going to do this but I know that I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else" She smiled at his words "We might not have all the answers but look at the long road we've travelled"

"It's pretty epic right?"

"Of course it is. You and me? We are epic doll" He dropped his head until he was nuzzling her nose with his "If everything we went through wasn't able to stop us neither will this. The worst case scenario will be dealing with a bit of distance"

"That's not that bad right?"

"No, not at all"

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the night air caressing her skin, the feeling of his arms around her and his smell surrounding her. There were times back when she was alone and closed her eyes and could picture him with her, right now she was almost afraid to open them and realize it had all been a dream, Elena didn't know if she was going to ever lose that fear.

"There were nights when I truly thought I was never going to find you" Damon told her in a wobbly voice "I lay in bed paralyzed with fear just because of that thought"

"But you did find me" She told him reassuringly

"Dance with me?" He whispered and she opened her eyes to find him staring at her with stars in his baby blues.

"What?"

"I owe you ten years of dances on the porch" He told her and her eyes filled with tears as a pressure appeared in her chest, her mind drifting back to a conversation they had had when they were still too young to know about the cruelness of the world "You promised you were going to dance with me"

"I did"

"So let's dance"

"There's no music"

"There's always music" He stood up and extended his hand to help her onto her feet. Elena went into his arms as he started humming 'I wanna hold your hand' and they swayed to the soft sound of his voice.

She placed her head on his chest and marveled at the vibrations it did as he hummed. Damon was really here and this wasn't a dream "I love you darling" She whispered in the darkness of the night.

"I love you too doll" He told her "You'll always be my girl"

Elena closed her eyes as they kept swaying to the sound of his hum, while the stars shinned in the sky and the wind rustled the trees. They danced as they should have done for the last ten years and as they would do for many for years to come.

 **.**

 **.**

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Review?**


	26. It's an epic love story

**Well the true ending is now here. If you liked the way I left it on the past chapter then by all means stick with that finale but if you love happy endings as much as me then please continue.**

 **This story is a favorite of mine and it's very close to my heart, it's actually one of my favorites and I'm blown away by the response it had, I'm so glad that you all loved it that much. I had a great time writing it and I want to thank all of you for sticking with me until the end.**

 **I also want to thank Lorena (myallconsuminglove) who has been my amazing beta for my last five stories and who I'm saying goodbye with this one as well, it's been amazing working with you my friend.**

 **Stay tune because I'll be uploading my new story this week.**

 **Love you all and please enjoy!**

 **Sam.**

* * *

"The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart.

It's beautiful and heartbreaking; it's an epic love story"

 **-One Tree Hill-**

 **.**

 **.**

 _ **Nine years later…**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

Elena dropped herself onto the big cream leather couch placed on the west side of her office. The place was small but very cozy; it had beige walls littered with black and white framed pictures of her family, four lamps to give it a warmer feeling, a mahogany desk and an office chair plus two chairs facing each other in the outside of the desk, a bookshelf, file cabinets and a big cream couch.

She removed her shoes and started massaging her feet softly, she had been working all day and now at the age of thirty-six and with three kids at home she no longer had the strength to hold herself up any longer.

 _Damon and Elena had tried to do the long distance relationship for about a year; she landed a role in a big musical and had to move back to New York fully. It was tough and probably one of the hardest moments of their relationship ever since they found each other again. Once the running of the musical ended Elena decided to drop everything and move with him to North Carolina, being a dancer had been her dream once upon a time but she had changed and so had her dream, so in the winter of 1970 they got married in a lovely and simple ceremony next to a lake, and she got to fulfill another one of her dreams._

Elena sighed and went to lock the door of her little office, she looked at the clock above the door and smiled knowing that Damon must be home already. So she hurried to step out of her dancing clothes and into a sage green cape collared long dress, with an empire waistline and plated collar before locking the office again.

 _A year after they got married they welcomed their first son into the world. The moment Christopher Salvatore was placed in Elena's arms something healed inside of her; she could almost hear the pieces clicking back together inside her chest. The pain of losing her first child was never going to disappear but having her baby boy in her arms while Damon was beside her had healed her in ways she never imagined._

 _Two years after Christopher was born Elena fulfilled another dream she didn't even know she had; she opened a ballet academy. And a year after that the twins, Daniel and Lorelei, arrived. It had been hard to juggle a brand new business and two newborns but Damon had supported her every single day and somehow they had managed to make it all work._

Elena released her hair from the bun holding it and shook it a bit so it flowed down her back. Afterwards she started placing all of her things in her bag and trying to remember at what time Stefan and Caroline had told her they were arriving tomorrow. It had been six months since Elena last saw her best friend and brother in law and she was excited to have them in town, especially since they had two children of the same age as the twins and Lizzie was coming too. It was going to be a full house but Elena wouldn't have it any other way.

 _Ever since the day she left Elena only returned to Mystic Falls once, three years ago when her father got terribly ill. Damon had begged to come with her but she insisted it was better if she did it alone; so she spent his father's last days next to him and saw the regret in his eyes every time he looked at her, he asked for her forgiveness so she gave it to him, her mother did no such thing. When Elena looked at her she saw nothing but the bitter old lady she had become, she pitied her but could never forgive her. So once her father was under the ground she walked away from her childhood home once again but not before walking to the old lady sitting quietly in the living room and whispering how happy she and Damon were and that no matter how hard she tried she wasn't able to keep them apart in the end._

"Mrs. Salvatore?" A soft knock on the door made Elena turn around and watch as her secretary, April, poked her head in with a smile "There's a girl here waiting for you"

"A girl?" Elena asked with a frown while she closed her bag and placed it on top of one of the chairs placed in front of her desk "Did she tell you what she wanted?"

"No, just that she needed to speak with you" April told her softly "Do you want me to tell her to return Monday?"

"No, it's okay. Send her in" Elena answered absently. They were going to present "The Nutcracker" in a few months and her office had already started to fill with girls trying to get the lead role so she guessed it was another one of them. "And you can go home already April"

"Thank you, Mrs. Salvatore" The young girl said with a smile before scurrying behind the door once again.

Elena went behind her desk and started stacking some papers while she waited for the girl to enter, she was so consumed with her thoughts that she reacted only when the door closed a bit too harshly.

"Sorry, it didn't seem that heavy" A young sweet voice said and when Elena lifted her head all of the air left her body.

The girl was wearing a full skirt printed dress with a round neckline and front button trim. She had a tentative smile on her lips and a small dimple on her left cheek. But what made the air leave Elena's lungs wasn't her ivory skin and reddish cheeks, nor the darkest hair she had ever seen. It was the striking blue eyes that were currently looking at her expectantly, eyes she had only seen from afar once in her life.

"I…-"Elena took a hand to her chest, unable to articulate a single word.

She was tapping her left foot nervously and her hands were resting in front of her, visibly shaking and holding onto a rosary Elena had last seen eighteen years ago. "Umm Mrs. Salvatore" The girl started in a quivering voice "My name is Gabriela Saltzman and… well I am your daughter" Elena's eyes filled with tears and a broken sob got stuck in her throat. She stared at her unable to believe that this was indeed happening after so long. "Please say something" The young girl said while looking at her with fearful eyes.

"They kept your name" Elena whispered in awe as she walked closer to her. Her legs were wobbly and hands shaking as she stepped closer and touched her daughter's cheek softly. "It's really you"

Gabriela seemed startled at the contact and flinched, which made Elena drop her hand with a sad smile "I'm sorry" The young girl apologized with a wince.

"It's okay" Elena reassured and motioned for her to sit. They occupied the chairs facing each other in front of her desk. Elena couldn't stop staring at her in marvel, she looked so different from the last time she saw her and yet everything about her screamed Damon. She was eighteen now, her age when she was forced to give her up.

"How did you find me?" Elena asked in a soft voice. Gabriela was twisting her hands in front of her lap in a nervous gesture, the rosary beads twisted in her hands "Did you always know you were adopted?"

"No" The young girl shook her head and fixated her eyes on the floor as she answered "My mom… she got sick with cancer about three years ago"

"I'm sorry Gabriela"

"Thank you… and you can call me Gaby" Elena nodded in response with a small smile on her face.

"A few weeks after she was diagnosed she took me to her bedroom and opened a small wooden box. It contained my birth certificate and this" She picked up the backpack at her feet and pulled out the pink soft monogramed blanket Elena had wrapped her up in before handing her over to the nuns so long ago.

"Oh my God" Elena took a hand to her mouth to contain the sob that was fighting its way up her throat

Gabriela placed the blanked on her lap and lifted the rosary in the air for Elena to see "I've had this ever since I was a little girl; my mom told me it was yours"

"My best friend gave it to me" Elena managed to say "And I wanted for you to always be safe so I gave it to you"

Gabriela placed the rosary on her lap on top of the blanket and lowered her eyes to see the crystal beads in her hands "I was so angry for so long. Angry at you for leaving, at them for hiding it from me all of that time. But the more I thought about it the more I couldn't stop the desire growing inside me. I wanted to know things about you; I wanted to know if we somehow looked alike"

Her blue eyes pierced hers and Elena almost smiled at her words, she didn't look like her at all, besides her nose and maybe the shape of her face, her little girl was all her father. "And then I felt guilty, because how could I be thinking about you? How could I betray a woman who gave me nothing but love?"

Gabriela's eyes filled with tears and Elena nodded in understanding, wanting to reach out to comfort her but stopping herself before she could make her feel uncomfortable. "She assured me she understood and that they would help me search for you but I couldn't. There were days I wanted to find you and there were days I was too angry at you."

"I'm so sorry" Was all Elena could say.

"My mom died a year ago and after a while I decided to start looking for you. My father hired someone and three months ago I knew where you were" She said softly as she gripped the rosary so hard the beads imprinted themselves on her skin. "I debated a lot whether to come or not… then I read you had a ballet academy. I've danced since I was a little girl" Gaby choked out "I love ballet. I guess I got that from you because my mom didn't dance at all. And I wanted to know, I wanted to know what other things I got from you or my father. "

Elena couldn't help herself anymore and reached her hands to hold hers, instead of moving like she did earlier her daughter gripped her hands and stared straight into her eyes. Her baby blues were filled with tears and the crystal beads of the rosary marking both of their skin "And I wanted to ask you…I want to know. Why did you give me away? Why didn't you want me? You married my father; his name was in the birth certificate. Then why didn't you want to keep me?"

Elena couldn't hold the sob that tore out of her throat at her words, at the question that had haunted her for eighteen years and the pained look in her daughter's eyes "Oh my sweet child, there is nothing in the world that I would have loved more than to keep you"

"Then why didn't you?"

"I was barely seventeen when I met your father. I loved him dearly but we came from very different worlds, my mother used to say that he came from the wrong side of the tracks" Tears were falling down her cheeks as her memory drifted away to those amazing months with Damon "We loved each other with all of our hearts but it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough because the world was cruel to us. Because we learned too soon what pain was and just how unfair the world really is"

Gaby listened with rapt attention and teary eyes as Elena told her the story of her great love. Of the boy with the blue eyes and wolf tattoo who smiled at her at that small diner, of the boy who limped with every step and wore washed out clothes. Of the things she learned because of him and the lovely moments they spent together. She told him of the way her eyes had opened to the unfairness of the world when she met him, of how she realized how sheltered she had grown up and how different their lives were.

As the minutes trickled by in the clock on the wall she told her about a young broken hearted girl waiting for a blue Camaro to show up in the parking lot of a dance school and the tears she had shed because of him. She told her about the lies her parents told and the awful place she was sent to. She also spoke about the silver linings in her life, like her best friend Caroline and Sister Evelyn who were nothing but kind to her, and she sobbed as she spoke about the day she had to watch as they took her daughter away from her.

And then she told her about finding Damon again and reconnecting with him, about how their lives had changed and how they learned to breathe again, together.

"What are their names?" Gabriela asked when Elena mentioned the three other children she and Damon had.

"Well there's Chris who is seven" Elena said with a smile on her face "And Daniel and Lorelei who are five, they're twins"

"I have three siblings" Gabriela whispered in awe as she stared at her mother "I mean I have four, I have one brother back home"

"I know" Elena said softly

"Of course" Gabriela nodded, remembering the words Elena had told her earlier. About how she and Damon had looked for her but refused to ruin her happiness. She didn't know how to feel about that, a part of her resented them for not staying and another part of her was thankful for letting her enjoy the life she already had. "Do you think I could stay with you? Just for tonight"

"Of course, darling" Elena told her with the brightest smile on her face.

They headed out of the office and climbed into the blue mercury Elena now drove, Gabriela couldn't stop running the rosary in between her hands while she watched the profile of her mother as she drove. A mixture of emotions were swirling inside her, she had thought about this moment for so long, she thought she would scream and shout and demand answers but the minute her eyes had landed on her mother's all of that anger disappeared. She wanted her, her mother actually wanted her and she wasn't expecting to feel this happy because of this revelation.

Elena parked the car behind Damon's blue Camaro which had come out of storage a long time ago. She could see the living room lights on and knew he would be worried about her arriving this late. The kids were probably asleep already and that was for the best, that way they could think about how to break this to them softly.

Elena opened the door softly while Gabriela walked silently behind her, the minute her feet touched the wooden floors of the inside of the house the voice of her husband was heard from the living room "Where were you? I was five seconds from jumping in the car and going to pick you up! I swear you're going to kill me one of-" His rant stopped short when he reached the parlor and saw her standing there with a young girl behind her.

"Damon there's someone I want you to meet" Elena said with a smile and tear stained eyes.

"It can't be" He whispered dumbstruck. Blue eyes met blue as he stared at the daughter that was taken away from him so many years ago.

"I look like you" Gabriela whispered in awe.

There were no more words between them and Elena watched with a joyful and heavy heart how her forty-year-old husband broke down into tears in front of her like a little kid. They hugged, the father and daughter hugged in the parlor, clinging to each other like their life depended on it.

Damon couldn't believe that after so long he was finally holding his baby girl, the one he had desired so much. The one he had imagined in Elena's arms every single night he spent alone trying to find them, the girl he had to give up to another man. She was finally in his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" He whispered as he rocked her in his arms while she cried like an infant "I'm sorry" Gabriela felt like her heart was being ripped open. She wasn't expecting all of the torrent of emotions that meeting her birth parents unleashed inside her.

The three of them moved to the living room and talked for hours, they learned things about each other. She told them about her childhood and how happy it had been and they told her about how wonderful their life had been since they found each other again. As the minutes trickled by they started to know each other and only stopped when their eye lids became too heavy to keep going.

Elena accompanied her daughter to the guest room and learned that her father didn't want her to go by herself but decided to give her the freedom to choose. That she only could stay a week and even thought it made her deeply sad to know this, Elena understood where her father was coming from. So she promised to reach out to him so they could get to know him as well and maybe in the future get all together.

The next day was a whirlwind of chaos and people as Caroline and Stefan arrived. Gabriela had grown up in a rather small family so she wasn't used to having so many people around, it was more than a little overwhelming but she had never been one to back down from a challenge.

She got to meet her three siblings who were more than a bit confused at the beginning but welcomed her with love and tenderness in spite of not fully understanding the situation, they were so lovely and beautiful. Both Daniel and Chris looked a lot like Damon and Lola, how everyone called her, was the spitting image of Elena and had her father wrapped around her tiny finger. Gaby was amazed at how quickly she could get attached to people she hadn't met until yesterday.

There was also Caroline and Stefan with their two boys, George and Robert, and their daughter Lizzie. They were the nicest of people and treated her like they knew her for years rather than hours. Gaby could see how close everyone was and she felt an immense desire to be a part of it.

They were currently all sitting around a big rectangular table placed in the backyard. The sun was shining in the sky and the birds chirping happily around them. Elena and Caroline were finishing placing the food on the table while Damon and Stefan listened with rapt attention to Lola's story of how she found a bird's nest a few hours ago.

"We are all set" Elena said with a small smile as she took a seat on the chair next to Damon. "Anybody wants to say grace?" Her eyes travelled the length of the table and for a minute Gaby was scared she was going to ask her to do it.

"Lizzie?" Damon asked with a raised eye brow as his eyes rested on his niece.

"Fine, I'll do it" The girl rolled her eyes in fake annoyance before placing both hands together in front of her chest "Dear God we want to say thank you today for the food you bring us and because we are all healthy and together. We also want to thank you because you helped Lola save the birds" The little girl smiled and nodded as her cousin winked at her "We also want to thank you because mom married a nice man like Stefan and Auntie Ellie chose Damon and not-"

"Liam with the funny face" Her parents and her Aunt and Uncle echoed the words she repeated in at least one family meal per year.

"But isn't it hilarious that you are now seeing his son?" Stefan asked her daughter with glee all over his face.

"Jackson looks like his mom" Lizzie answered quickly

Caroline chuckled "I actually think Liam was really cute"

"Don't interrupt me please, I also want to thank God for bringing Gaby here today" Lizzie gave her a sincere smile and Gaby knew they were going to get along well "And that is all. Amen."

"Amen." They all whispered and proceeded with their meal.

The minutes trickled by and the food and drinks flowed, they shared stories and laughs. They joked and sang and as Damon held Elena's hand underneath the table she looked at him with tears in her eyes before raking her eyes along the whole table, where for the first time all of their children were sitting together. Her eyes caught Lizzie's who winked at her before mouthing "I told you" with the biggest smile on her face.

Later that day when the entire house was sleeping Damon was sitting on the big comfy couch placed in front of the fireplace of the living room as he watched Elena dance around the room while 'Your song' by Elton John sounded softly in the background.

She had danced for him more times than he could count ever since they got back together nine years ago but he never stopped being amazed at how beautiful and graceful she was, when he looked at her he still couldn't believe someone like her had chosen to be with him.

She was perfect, and she was his.

"…How wonderful life is while you're in this world…" He echoed the words of the song softly as his eyes filled with tears at seeing her dance for him one more time. Damon stared at her unable to believe he had gotten everything he ever dreamed in life, his four children were sleeping under the same roof tonight and he was watching the love of his life dance for him, life couldn't get better than that.

He stood up as the song changed to the Rolling Stones song 'Wild horses' and she gave him the sweetest of smiles "Would you dance with me doll?" He extended his hand and she took it without hesitation.

"Of course darling" He took her in his arms and they started swaying gently to the soft tune of the music. Her head instantly went to rest on his chest "I love you"

"I love you too" He answered "You're my girl. You'll always be my girl" He told her before dipping his head and placing a gentle kiss onto her lips, she smiled into the kiss before he released her mouth and her head went back to rest on his chest. The fire crackled in the fireplace as they swayed slowly in front of it, their eyes closed and smiles on their lips.

Unbeknown to them, a teenage girl was looking at their dancing forms from where she sat at the top of the stairs. A smile gracing her lips as her crystal blue eyes brimmed with tears.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Review? Pretty please?**


End file.
